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Stimulation that leads to orgasm is applied instinctively
We all assume we already know everything there is to know about sex and sexuality. Even though we have never had a sex education (because no one has), we are confident that no other knowledge (beyond what we already know) exists. Certainly, there is a lack of factual information. But equally none of us ever
Your work matches my lifelong hunches, borne out by my imperfect observation….
Your work matches my lifelong hunches, borne out by my imperfect observation. Your level-headed delivery comes off as helpfully trustworthy & authoritative. Pawel
Many females consider that male genitalia are ugly and repulsive in appearance…
Many females consider that male genitalia are ugly and repulsive in appearance … there seems no doubt that these reactions largely depend upon the...
A sexual relationship
Judy married in the late 1950s; well before the average woman was informed about what a sexual relationship might involve. Judy’s aspirations were to provide a comfortable home for her family and to enjoy being a wife and a mother. When I talked to her, Judy was in her mid-sixties with grown up children and a
Pornography provides boys with completely unrealistic images of women’s sexuality. … This…
Pornography provides boys with completely unrealistic images of women's sexuality. ... This issue needs to be addressed by sex educators if boys are to...
Sex education is not just about ‘where babies come from’. It also…
Sex education is not just about 'where babies come from'. It also involves learning about responsiveness & orientation.
In fact, since only about 30 percent of women achieve orgasm with…
In fact, since only about 30 percent of women achieve orgasm with intercourse but over 80 percent experience a climax with masturbation, orgasm by...
Yet many women are shocked by eroticism (whether visual or verbal pornography,…
Yet many women are shocked by eroticism (whether visual or verbal pornography, erotica or the concept of sexual fantasy) and equally shocked by the...
Some people enjoy abstract eroticism and fantasy
Sexuality is about our motivation to explore our fantasies both during masturbation alone and during sex play with a lover. Our ability to reach orgasm ultimately depends on what happens in the brain. We tend to focus on the mechanics of sex but erotic pleasure is foremost about turn-ons. Men enjoy the turn-on of penetration
… the restraint of the wife constantly lowers the frequencies (of intercourse)…
... the restraint of the wife constantly lowers the frequencies (of intercourse) in all segments of the population, but chiefly among better educated groups.
Lesbian sex is very different from sex with men. It is not…
Lesbian sex is very different from sex with men. It is not an 'exchange' or a 'trade' ..., it is not something done to...
A woman does not masturbate by replicating the sensations of vaginal penetration…
A woman does not masturbate by replicating the sensations of vaginal penetration (assuming that she is aiming for orgasm). Women orgasm alone by massaging...
The G-spot explains the orgasms women think they have
Inexperienced women explore various parts of their body before discovering orgasm but most women (84%) masturbate by stimulating the clitoris. Yet some women today will still buy G-spot wands and phallic vibrators.[i] There are some sex experts who refer to clitoral stimulation as if it can be directly substituted for vaginal stimulation. They imply that
Often our struggles with intimacy are problematic as neither side is open…
Often our struggles with intimacy are problematic as neither side is open to discussing it. Jean Claude
… whenever physical contacts or psychologic stimuli had led to orgasm, there…
... whenever physical contacts or psychologic stimuli had led to orgasm, there was rarely any doubt of the sexual nature of the situation, ......
Orgasm techniques
The web shows just what an extraordinary level of interest there is (both from men and women) in suggestions for how a woman can orgasm during sex. Just to give a flavour, here are a few tips from the experts: Don’t worry because orgasm is not that important; Relax a bit more and stop concentrating
Sexuality is about a sexual relationship, which includes social, emotional and sexual…
Sexuality is about a sexual relationship, which includes social, emotional and sexual aspects. Long-term committed relationships are vital to supporting families over the decades...
Jane Thomas talks about her second book ‘Women’s sexual Behaviours & Responses’.
Jane Thomas talks about her second book 'Women's sexual Behaviours & Responses'.
Women’s motivation (or willingness) to have a sexual experience stems from a…
Women’s motivation (or willingness) to have a sexual experience stems from a number of ‘rewards’ or ‘gains’ that are not strictly sexual, these rewards...
Knowledge does not force a person to make certain choices – it…
Knowledge does not force a person to make certain choices - it gives them a choice.
Asking young women to define female sexuality
Young women are naturally impressed by men’s greater confidence. They are full of romantic illusions and curiosity. They have the inexperience and the optimism of youth. It’s easy for a woman to give a man the pleasure he wants. Young women can’t understand why older women recommend modesty and restraint. They enjoy the novelty of
There are quite a few individuals, especially of the grade school and…
There are quite a few individuals, especially of the grade school and high school levels, who find more interest in the pursuit and conquest,...
To consider all non-reproductive sexual contact ‘an error of nature’ is a…
To consider all non-reproductive sexual contact 'an error of nature' is a very narrow view.
No one consciously chooses what concepts, body parts or objects cause their…
No one consciously chooses what concepts, body parts or objects cause their arousal. Mental arousal occurs subconsciously or not at all. This aspect of...
Arousal mechanisms are not unique to one lover
Mental turn-ons (both fantasies and fetishes) are abstract concepts and objects. They are not personalised or limited to one individual. So if a man finds the female breast to be an object of desire then, potentially, he can be aroused by the breasts of any woman (not just those of his lover). Likewise if a
You can always count on me, because as a woman I feel…
You can always count on me, because as a woman I feel you're bringing change which is highly needed. Soonitee
It is the constant complaint of married females that their husbands are…
It is the constant complaint of married females that their husbands are … primarily concerned with genital stimulation … It is the constant complaint...
Sexual fantasies
On approaching masturbation, my first task is to identify a fantasy that will arouse me enough to reach orgasm. If I cannot achieve the necessary sexual arousal from fantasy then it makes not a jot of difference how vigorously or for how long I stimulate my clitoris. I know that orgasm is impossible. “However we
By contrast women, including lesbians, enjoy more sensual whole-body and emotional pleasures…
By contrast women, including lesbians, enjoy more sensual whole-body and emotional pleasures with a lover because of their lack of arousal.
Male sexuality has a short-term focus. Women’s sexuality includes using sex to…
Male sexuality has a short-term focus. Women's sexuality includes using sex to keep men committed over the long-term.
We have lots of expectations about how relationships are ‘supposed’ to look….
We have lots of expectations about how relationships are ‘supposed’ to look. Many times, this fairy-tale model doesn’t mimic our lives or our realities.
Some women appear to be so sheltered from the world of adult…
Some women appear to be so sheltered from the world of adult eroticism that one wonders if they have ever experienced sexual urges of...
Difficulties in assessing women’s sexuality
Our understanding of female sexuality must reflect what real women are physically and emotionally capable of. The advantage of a realistic approach is that couples can build on what is practically achievable rather than hanker after an impossible fantasy. Men stress about what they can do or say to get a woman into bed. So
Sometimes the dreamer is a participant in the activities, and sometimes the…
Sometimes the dreamer is a participant in the activities, and sometimes the dreamer does not participate but merely observes.
My feeling is that I would consider sucking a cock with a…
My feeling is that I would consider sucking a cock with a loaded gun at my head. No other way.
What strikes me as odd is that the only evidence men seek…
What strikes me as odd is that the only evidence men seek of female responsiveness is that women should be enthusiastic about intercourse. Surely...
Orgasm is achieved by massaging the corpora cavernosa
As part of my research, I came across references to the corpora cavernosa. These are cylindrical structures within the shaft of the penis that run down either side of the urethra (the central tube that urine and semen come down). It has also been established that the body (or shaft) of the internal clitoral organ
It’s important work that your doing, both for women and for those…
It's important work that your doing, both for women and for those people who love them, myself included. Dave
Most males are likely to approach females as they, the males, would…
Most males are likely to approach females as they, the males, would like to be approached by a sexual partner. They are likely to...
The 10 facts of female sexuality
Beliefs about female sexuality are more often based on fantasy than facts. These are the 10 essential facts that every sexual woman should know: (1) Enjoying orgasm through genital stimulation Anyone, male or female, alone or with a partner, uses genital stimulation to take a mental state of sexual arousal (achieved by appreciating eroticism) to
Regardless of orientation, men orgasm through intercourse, masturbation and fellatio. A man’s…
Regardless of orientation, men orgasm through intercourse, masturbation and fellatio. A man's arousal (in the form of an erection) also gives him a clear...
Men try to get women drunk (or even drug them) to get…
Men try to get women drunk (or even drug them) to get sex. Clearly, women are not nearly as keen on sex as men...
There are a lot of people out there pretending to be sex…
There are a lot of people out there pretending to be sex experts. Everyone seems to think they are an expert.
Rather like climbing up the steps of a slide in order to…
Rather like climbing up the steps of a slide in order to enjoy slipping down the other side, it seems unlikely that even women...
Sex without consent is rape regardless of intent
It’s important to appreciate that the situation where a man rapes random strangers is rare. These men (called rapists) specifically enjoy the violence of the
Over 99 per cent of the males who go to college have…
Over 99 per cent of the males who go to college have nocturnal emissions at some time in their lives, but only 85 per...
Staggeringly uniformed. The more confident they (men) are of their sexual prowess…
Staggeringly uniformed. The more confident they (men) are of their sexual prowess and the effectiveness of their techniques, the more ignorant they seem to...
Male and female masturbation techniques are similar in that men and women…
Male and female masturbation techniques are similar in that men and women massage the body of the phallus, which contains the corpora cavernosa. The...
Only some women think they orgasm through intercourse
When we talk about consensual sex who exactly is consenting and what are they consenting to? Women may consent to intercourse [i] but consent is a long way off sexual pleasure and no proof that a woman has an orgasm. Heterosexual lovemaking, for the most part, relies on a man stimulating a woman. Genital stimulation
Wow!!!! You are amazing! On target and right to the point!!! People…
Wow!!!! You are amazing! On target and right to the point!!! People struggle and they don't know where to turn for help. This is...
The physical contacts between females in the homosexual relations had often depended…
The physical contacts between females in the homosexual relations had often depended on little more than simple lip kissing and generalised body contacts.
Lack of orgasm is not a sexual dysfunction
It is often suggested that a lack of female orgasm during sex is a sign of sexual dysfunction but the truth is that this is simply the way things are for women who hope for orgasm from their sexual relationships. A woman is lucky to orgasm by any means. The belief that women orgasm ‘naturally’
The issue of female orgasm with a lover is at the core…
The issue of female orgasm with a lover is at the core of sexual politics. Men want to feel valued as lovers. Women want...
There is no reason why a woman should be aroused by sex…
There is no reason why a woman should be aroused by sex or by a lover. Female orgasm has nothing to do with reproduction.
Considering the number of women who have sex regularly, the number of…
Considering the number of women who have sex regularly, the number of orgasms they report having is shockingly low.
It is really quite disturbing that young women today are so unaware…
It is really quite disturbing that young women today are so unaware of the facts about male sex drive. Every man knows that past...
Child sexual abuse, incest and paedophilia
Paedophiles blatantly challenge the concept of consent. Paedophilia involves a few men who are sexually attracted to pre-pubescent children. Many paedophiles control their urges and avoid coming into contact with children. Others do eventually act on their urges by exposing themselves to children, watching naked children, masturbating themselves in front of children or touching children’s
There are males who never masturbate. There are a few males who…
There are males who never masturbate. There are a few males who masturbate only one or twice in their lives; and there are others...
Sex is intimate physical activity for pleasure, to share pleasure with another…
Sex is intimate physical activity for pleasure, to share pleasure with another person (or just alone).
No boy reaches puberty and consciously decides to be aroused by girls….
No boy reaches puberty and consciously decides to be aroused by girls. It just happens. If it doesn't, he may have a very low...
Orgasm depends on a positive response to eroticism
You cannot teach someone to orgasm. We discover orgasm because we have the capability. Responsiveness relies on a person’s ability to identify with erotic scenarios. First, an aspect of sexual activity excites our curiosity. Second, we enjoy the possibilities we explore mentally. Third, our positive mental response causes us to stimulate our genitals instinctively. It
Thanks Jane, I appreciate learning the facts even though they seem somehow…
Thanks Jane, I appreciate learning the facts even though they seem somehow harsh to swallow. Hugs Jose
In the sample of single females, a high proportion (51%) of those…
In the sample of single females, a high proportion (51%) of those who had had any homosexual experience had had it with only a...
Women’s sexual arousal tends to be assumed or overlooked
Much of what is known about female orgasm comes from women’s experience of masturbation. Shere Hite’s work focused on female masturbation and the clitoris. As a research student in the United States in the early 1970s, Shere (pronounced ‘sherry’) Hite circulated a lengthy questionnaire through women’s magazines and to passers-by on the street. She asked
Confusingly, for men, the women who are shouting loudest about female orgasm…
Confusingly, for men, the women who are shouting loudest about female orgasm are the ones who have no idea how it is achieved. But...
Physical stimulation: Jane Thomas explains how the BODY is involved in orgasm.
Physical stimulation: Jane Thomas explains how the BODY is involved in orgasm.
Just as a man forgets feelings, a woman forgets her sensual desires…
Just as a man forgets feelings, a woman forgets her sensual desires and longings. The practicalities of day-to-day survival and living take precedence over...
Even if a woman wanted to be honest, she still has the…
Even if a woman wanted to be honest, she still has the problem of how to respond during sex. Men want a partner to...
Domestic violence and emotional abuse in the home
Domestic violence (violence in the home), with women and children as primary victims, is a major worldwide epidemic. The majority, an estimated 90 percent to 95 percent, of victims in heterosexual relationships are women. It is estimated that at least 3 million to 4 million women are beaten by their husbands or partners annually in
When she fails to be interested in sexual relations with her husband,…
When she fails to be interested in sexual relations with her husband, when she is less interested than he is, when she refuses to...
My greatest displeasure is feeling myself to be simply a substitute for…
My greatest displeasure is feeling myself to be simply a substitute for his hand, a dish of mashed potatoes, or any warm place he...
Some women mislead men into believing that they are satisfied either to…
Some women mislead men into believing that they are satisfied either to end sex sooner or to satisfy a man's need to feel that...
The idea that intercourse should cause female orgasm
Jane talks about orgasm through intercourse with speaker notes! If any of us receive a sex education (which most of us do not), the explanations given rarely go further than the basic so-called facts of life. We are told about intercourse and the mechanics of reproduction. If we are really lucky, we are told about
Your fact based researches & deep knowledge about human sexuality has been…
Your fact based researches & deep knowledge about human sexuality has been of genuine benefit to many folks, which luckily I happened to be...
… between 36 and 44 per cent of the females …had responded…
... between 36 and 44 per cent of the females ...had responded to orgasm in a part ... of their coitus in marriage. About...
The ideal male lover
Alex Comfort’s book ‘The Joy of Sex’ (1972) documented primarily positions for intercourse that he and his mistress had found pleasurable as part of their affair. The affair was quite open and the two lovers shared the family home with his wife and son. Don’t get me wrong. What Alex Comfort achieved was amazing at
Sexuality is about talking, observing or interacting with others in return for…
Sexuality is about talking, observing or interacting with others in return for payment or other non-relationship rewards. Depending on our personality we may employ...
Women obtain tremendous pleasure from their emotional responses with a lover. This…
Women obtain tremendous pleasure from their emotional responses with a lover. This explains why men focus on orgasm but women talk of love &...
How to satisfy a woman every time: Caress, praise, pamper,… die for,…
How to satisfy a woman every time: Caress, praise, pamper,… die for, dream of, tease, gratify, squeeze, indulge, idolise, worship. How to satisfy a...
Ultimately the aim is for Ways Women Orgasm to facilitate an open…
Ultimately the aim is for Ways Women Orgasm to facilitate an open and constructive dialogue, covering questions or experiences from women and their partners,...
Sexual insults, bullying and habitual harassment
Young people should understand what makes a positive relationship and what makes a bad one. There are benefits and risks involved in relationships depending on the degree of sexual intimacy. Before we can formulate our own view without being coerced by undue pressure from others, we need a minimum level of maturity, experience, self-esteem and
In general, the sexual patterns of the younger generation are so nearly…
In general, the sexual patterns of the younger generation are so nearly identical with the sexual patterns of the older generations in regard to...
Vaginal lubrication is assumed to be another key indicator of female sexual…
Vaginal lubrication is assumed to be another key indicator of female sexual arousal but this response facilitates intercourse (and therefore reproduction). In no way...
The same organ, the erectile phallus, is involved in orgasm
The erectile organs (penis and clitoris) develop from the same anatomy in the foetus called the genital tubercle. The penis and clitoris have crura alongside the corpora cavernosa that cause tumescence. [i] It is inconceivable that the organ responsible for male orgasm would not be the same organ that is responsible for female orgasm. Some
Your articles are always very informative and interesting. Thank you for your…
Your articles are always very informative and interesting. Thank you for your posts. Heather
It is difficult for most males to comprehend that females are not…
It is difficult for most males to comprehend that females are not aroused by seeing male genitalia. Some males never come to comprehend this.
True female sexual arousal and orgasm
Any talk of sexual arousal and orgasm, usually focuses on women since men’s sexual arousal and orgasm tend to be a given. It is unthinkable that anyone needs to tell a man how to orgasm. By the time they are teenagers, boys have discovered how to enjoy their own sexual arousal, by looking at images
Sexuality is about appreciating what causes us to become aroused and learning…
Sexuality is about appreciating what causes us to become aroused and learning how we can achieve orgasm both alone and with a lover.
Orgasm is a response, like sneezing or coughing. The triggers are the…
Orgasm is a response, like sneezing or coughing. The triggers are the same for everyone regardless of gender & orientation.
Research has shown that orgasms are also not widely considered to be…
Research has shown that orgasms are also not widely considered to be the most important aspect of sexual experience.
Very few virgins approach sex realising that a woman might need to…
Very few virgins approach sex realising that a woman might need to exaggerate her true sexual arousal during sex. Women learn over time to...
Sexual scenarios tend to be biased in men’s favour
No one ever admits that sex is biased in men’s favour. Accounts of female orgasm are heavily promoted and accounts of harassment, exploitation and rape are hushed up. A woman doesn’t need sex. So sex, and all its issues, is a male problem. Sex is foremost a biological male need that some men can satisfy