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Women’s arousal depends on a more indirect mechanism
Men are turned on as a direct consequence of their drive to penetrate (a female) and thrust until ejaculation. A woman lacks this drive. Women are not naturally aroused by either sexual activity or genitalia [i] as men are. A woman aged 29 said she couldn’t understand why a 70-year-old man would still want to
Keep fighting for the truth Jane, no matter how uncomfortable it may…
Keep fighting for the truth Jane, no matter how uncomfortable it may make people feel and how many taboos it challenges. The truth will...
Although 58 per cent of the females in our sample were masturbating…
Although 58 per cent of the females in our sample were masturbating to orgasm at some time in their lives, it was a much...
Talking to women about female orgasm
Since the experts I talked to had no rational explanations, I decided to do my own research by talking to women I met in everyday life. I quickly learned just how highly embarrassing it is to approach women on such an intimate topic. Very few women are willing to talk about sex at all and
Women often receive rewards for pleasing a man. Yet men cannot believe…
Women often receive rewards for pleasing a man. Yet men cannot believe that some women employ behaviours to please men.
While men reward women who tell them what they want to hear,…
While men reward women who tell them what they want to hear, they will never hear the truth. Most women stay silent to keep...
Men orgasm 85% of the time they have sex on average, while…
Men orgasm 85% of the time they have sex on average, while women only reach climax 63% of the time, according to a study...
Regardless of her sexual expectations, any woman is more likely to offer…
Regardless of her sexual expectations, any woman is more likely to offer sex when she feels good about the relationship and loving towards her...
Educated men masturbate more than other men
Masturbation is least common among less educated males (89%). More men who are high school educated (95%) and men who are college educated (96%) are involved in masturbation for at least some period of their lives. Masturbation frequencies after marriage are highest (69%) among men who are college educated. Only 42% of men, who are
The sexual life of a male of a lower educational level is…
The sexual life of a male of a lower educational level is primarily dependent upon actual physical contacts.
I haven’t gotten away from the feeling that I’m ‘dirty’ ‘down there’.
I haven't gotten away from the feeling that I'm 'dirty' 'down there'.
The evidence for female responsiveness needs to come from women who can…
The evidence for female responsiveness needs to come from women who can talk confidently about their enjoyment of arousal (a response to erotic stimuli)...
Some women masturbate without aiming for orgasm
It is difficult to establish the nature of female masturbation. [i] Women do not always use fantasy as men do, which suggests they may not always be masturbating to orgasm. Some infant girls masturbate as an instinctive comforting activity. Sometimes they reach a resolution that is interpreted as orgasm. However a young child does not
Dear Jane, your work is fabulous! As a psychologist, your information has…
Dear Jane, your work is fabulous! As a psychologist, your information has really been a great asset in helping my clients. Thank you for...
In something more than half (56 per cent) of the (lesbian) histories,…
In something more than half (56 per cent) of the (lesbian) histories, there had been genital appositions which were designed to provide specific and...
Interpreting experiences of female orgasm
When a man is stimulated sexually by a partner he finds it difficult to avoid becoming aroused. Similarly, if a woman’s response to penile thrusting (or any other physical stimulation technique) was automatic then women would presumably be unable to avoid becoming aroused whatever their conscious desires. So in the movie ‘Swordfish’ (2001) Hugh Jackman
Responsiveness is a characteristic of the brain we are born with. A…
Responsiveness is a characteristic of the brain we are born with. A responsive person discovers orgasm because the sensations of tumescence (increased blood-flow) motivate...
Jane Thomas explains that men & women are likely to experience sexual…
Jane Thomas explains that men & women are likely to experience sexual pleasure differently.
… male turn-ons are concrete, while many female turn-ons are situational and…
… male turn-ons are concrete, while many female turn-ons are situational and atmospheric… it helps if a woman has some male-type object reactions, like...
Given the popular belief that female arousal and orgasm during sex are…
Given the popular belief that female arousal and orgasm during sex are easily achieved, many women simply assume that they experience these sensations as...
How men masturbate themselves to orgasm
Few boys masturbate before the onset of adolescence. Only 10% of boys are masturbating by the age of nine and only 13% by ten years of age. Male masturbation frequencies vary significantly in the population indicating not only a range in responsiveness but also variations in how different men can use their minds to enjoy
…nearly all coitus in our English-American culture occurs with the partners lying…
…nearly all coitus in our English-American culture occurs with the partners lying face to face with the male above the female.
Men are uninformed. They must all read the same book. Of course,…
Men are uninformed. They must all read the same book. Of course, passivity in women contributes to their miseducation.
Stimulation of the vagina is associated with a male partner. The clitoris…
Stimulation of the vagina is associated with a male partner. The clitoris is associated with women's stimulation of themselves or other women. Naturally, the...
Orgasm is not the goal of sexual activity with a lover
Orgasm has become a key word in talking about sex. Certainly, the most important aspect of women’s participation in sex is whether they have an orgasm. [i] Naturally, male orgasm is not an issue because it occurs reliably. My partner explained to me that orgasm was not his key focus during sex. Sexual release was
Jane, You are a great educator. You teach well & you are…
Jane, You are a great educator. You teach well & you are an expert on sexual topics! I love the way you educate. Marco
A good many females … contribute little or nothing … based in…
A good many females … contribute little or nothing … based in part, on the theory that the male is normally so aroused that...
My sex story
Jane talks to a live audience about ‘Sex & orgasm’ with accompanying slides to download! During adolescence, I read books that gave me both sexual knowledge and an insight into eroticism. So that even before I had sex for the first time, I had the impression that sex would be sensationally pleasurable. Erotic fiction showed
Responsiveness does not arise because an individual has some special knowledge or…
Responsiveness does not arise because an individual has some special knowledge or techniques. This is not a conscious choice.
My work involves explaining the erotic turn-ons a responsive woman uses to…
My work involves explaining the erotic turn-ons a responsive woman uses to achieve orgasm when she masturbates alone.
Men will do anything for sex, and will behave quite out of…
Men will do anything for sex, and will behave quite out of character to achieve it, such as spending several hours being romantic, and...
If a woman cannot give herself an orgasm then it is unlikely…
If a woman cannot give herself an orgasm then it is unlikely that someone else will be able to. Sexual arousal originates in the...
How anyone achieves orgasm when they are alone
Sexuality is about enjoying the responsiveness of our own body through masturbation. Our mind’s ability to respond to erotic scenarios (both real and imagined) causes us to investigate our body’s responses. Orgasm is a response of the brain. Our minds respond to erotic stimuli regardless of our relationship status and the availability of a partner.
Males with the highest frequencies of masturbation are most often those who…
Males with the highest frequencies of masturbation are most often those who become adolescent first. These are the males who have the maximum total...
I am enjoying sex more in my forties than I did in…
I am enjoying sex more in my forties than I did in my thirties; I enjoyed it more in my thirties than in my...
In fact women are passive receivers of the stimulation men want to…
In fact women are passive receivers of the stimulation men want to provide. Women are passive due to lack of arousal. This is why...
Female arousal is more deeply buried in the subconscious
Sexual phenomena (such as masturbation or gay sex) tend to be shocking and alien until we discover we enjoy them. Similarly once we experience arousal, we see the positive (rather than the offensive) aspects of eroticism. Anyone who objects to eroticism does not understand the nature of arousal. There is a belief that we all
Thank you for having the courage to walk into the forbidden zone…
Thank you for having the courage to walk into the forbidden zone and dispelling darkness. Rick
It is generally believed that females of the infra-human species of mammals…
It is generally believed that females of the infra-human species of mammals are sexually responsive only during the so-called periods of heat ... This...
Women have a lower sex drive
Men’s sexual arousal is usually easy whereas women’s sexual arousal and orgasm are not automatic so unsurprisingly sex tends to focus on male sexual arousal. A man’s orgasm (since it is usually co-incident with ejaculation) is critical to reproduction and so it makes sense that men are motivated by eroticism and able to reach orgasm
Orgasm arises as a subconscious response when the circumstances are appropriate. Once…
Orgasm arises as a subconscious response when the circumstances are appropriate. Once our minds are aroused, we supply the correct stimulation instinctively.
Even if women are too modest to explain female erotic turn-ons, surely…
Even if women are too modest to explain female erotic turn-ons, surely their lovers should know?
This does not mean that every time I do the dishes, she…
This does not mean that every time I do the dishes, she is supposed to have sex with me. That would not be romance....
If you cannot get turned-on in your mind then it doesn’t matter…
If you cannot get turned-on in your mind then it doesn't matter how much you stimulate your genitals - nothing will happen.
How we know women do not orgasm with a lover
Neither women themselves nor their lovers ever comment on the obvious contradiction over assumptions about the female anatomy involved in orgasm. A woman is assumed to orgasm through intercourse (stimulation of the vagina) in a way that complements the male anatomy. The vagina complements the penis in reproductive terms. A woman is also assumed to
When she … refuses to allow the variety in pre-coital techniques that…
When she ... refuses to allow the variety in pre-coital techniques that the male would like to have, or when she accedes to such...
I don’t need sex as often as my husband but he gets…
I don't need sex as often as my husband but he gets upset if I don't have an orgasm, so to keep him happy...
I know we all want a man to think us the sexiest…
I know we all want a man to think us the sexiest thing in the world but it is not helpful to have female...
The clitoris is the one and only female erectile sex organ
To state the obvious: men have no organ equivalent to the vagina. [i] By considering how human sexual response must have evolved, we can start to understand that it is much more likely that female responsiveness arises from the anatomy that women have evolved in common with men than that it arises from the anatomy
I’m 55 and you certainly make me think and learn. Thank you….
I'm 55 and you certainly make me think and learn. Thank you. I love learning from you! Fred
Public opinion in regard to such (extra-marital) coitus represents a mixture of…
Public opinion in regard to such (extra-marital) coitus represents a mixture of professed disapproval and spite and malice in which a considerable undercurrent of...
Female orgasm is not required for reproduction
We have known for decades that intercourse doesn’t provide sufficient PHYSICAL stimulation (of the clitoris) for orgasm. But even more fundamentally, how do women achieve the PSYCHOLOGICAL arousal needed to orgasm during sex? Over the years, I have found very few women who seem bothered that sex is unlikely to provide female orgasm. I understand
Our responsiveness is a factor of our sex and the way our…
Our responsiveness is a factor of our sex and the way our mind works.
My websites provide a comprehensive, authoritative & unbiased source of sex information…
My websites provide a comprehensive, authoritative & unbiased source of sex information for adults, professionals & teenagers.
If you really think about why vaginal stimulation matters so much, it’s…
If you really think about why vaginal stimulation matters so much, it’s because it puts the focus on male pleasure.
Enjoying sex for life involves continuing to be thrilled by each other’s…
Enjoying sex for life involves continuing to be thrilled by each other's company in a broader sense than just sex. It involves demonstrating affection...
Why couples don’t discuss female arousal
Much of the sexual activity between heterosexuals is carried on without communication. Once intimacy has been established, by kissing for example, a man assumes that he has been accepted as a lover. He increases his exploration of a woman’s body. A woman responds by allowing him access to her body. There is no explicit discussion.
… the time of onset of adolescence has been fixed as the…
… the time of onset of adolescence has been fixed as the date of the first ejaculation.
Yes, I always fake orgasms. It just seems polite. Why be rude?
Yes, I always fake orgasms. It just seems polite. Why be rude?
Sexual orientation determines turn-ons (whether we are aroused by the same or…
Sexual orientation determines turn-ons (whether we are aroused by the same or opposite sex) but it should not reasonably affect how we achieve orgasm.
Orgasm comes at the end of activity intended to achieve it
I used my own experience of sexual activity with a lover to draw conclusions about women’s use of behaviours in responding to sexual scenarios in the way that men appreciate. Sociable sexual activity focuses on male orgasm because of men’s acute arousal. Due to their lack of arousal, women may provide turn-ons and stimulation to
I think you’re Awesome. Not afraid to say what you think. Robert…
I think you're Awesome. Not afraid to say what you think. Robert B.
A considerable proportion of those males in our sample who had had…
A considerable proportion of those males in our sample who had had the opportunity to observe other persons in sexual activity had responded sympathetically...
Women’s sexual desire
Women who live alone or do not have an active sex life with their partner sometimes perceive themselves to be sexually needy because they start to doubt their ability to attract men. Margaret (early fifties, children, relationship 30 years) was confident that she was highly sexual and interested in sex. However, her sexual relationship with
Sexuality is about responsiveness and orientation, which are both determined before we…
Sexuality is about responsiveness and orientation, which are both determined before we are born.
Jane Thomas explains how women look for emotional rewards from their relationships.
Jane Thomas explains how women look for emotional rewards from their relationships.
The sexual response model appears to treat a husband’s interest in sex…
The sexual response model appears to treat a husband’s interest in sex as inherently normal and functional, and a wife’s relative lack of sexual...
Over time, any couple who cares about their sex life will need…
Over time, any couple who cares about their sex life will need to find new ways of enjoying sex play. This may involve investing...
Women fake orgasm to reassure men’s sexual ego
Faking orgasm provides an easy way for a woman to speed up sex and get it over with as quickly as possible. If a woman lies (by faking orgasm ) to a man he finds her hugely attractive. If she’s honest then he finds another woman. What do men expect? Some women consider faking to
… there are exceedingly few females who masturbate by inserting objects into…
… there are exceedingly few females who masturbate by inserting objects into the vagina, and most of them who do so are novices, exhibitionistic...
Boys have had casual sex with me and have then ignored me…
Boys have had casual sex with me and have then ignored me or thought less of me. I ‘ve been hurt, but in the...
In porn we see women pleasuring a lover and, in turn, being…
In porn we see women pleasuring a lover and, in turn, being pleasured. The pleasuring appears to be mutual. But while male pleasure focuses...
Understanding what works: erotic versus emotional stimuli
If men were attracted to responsive women, presumably they would hope for a woman who could orgasm within say 5 seconds of being stimulated. In reality, a man needs a woman to offer intercourse for as long as he takes to ejaculate (no more no less). But a woman has no control whatsoever over how
Dear Jane, Hearty Congratulations on your efforts to educate men about women’s…
Dear Jane, Hearty Congratulations on your efforts to educate men about women's rather mysterious sexuality existing hitherto in untraversed realms. Thank you for enlightening!!...
… the idea has been widely accepted that the effectiveness of a…
… the idea has been widely accepted that the effectiveness of a sexual relationship must depend primarily upon the skill and the art of...
How female sexuality differs to male sexuality
Many heterosexuals like the fact that the opposite sex is fundamentally different. Both our sexuality and our emotional responses differ. Men are macho, sometimes a little insensitive, largely disinterested in how they look, social issues or children. Women are pretty, sometimes a little controlling, largely disinterested in getting dirty, doing battle or anything remotely technical.
There are no real-world erotic stimuli that cause female arousal, which is…
There are no real-world erotic stimuli that cause female arousal, which is largely a subconscious phenomenon.
Sex education is not a popularity contest. Educators must present sex research…
Sex education is not a popularity contest. Educators must present sex research findings not fantasies!
Orgasms are elusive. Most women don’t have one every time (or maybe…
Orgasms are elusive. Most women don’t have one every time (or maybe even most times) they hit the sheets. Plenty of surveys—and likely your...
BUT clitoral stimulation by itself (whether by the woman or her partner)…
BUT clitoral stimulation by itself (whether by the woman or her partner) does not guarantee female orgasm. Why not? Unlike men, most women do...
Women make conscious effort to respond sexually
With all the fiction surrounding women’s sexuality, it is important to appreciate that female sexuality has not evolved solely for the purpose of gratifying male ego. Women can’t respond in certain ways simply because men would like them to (unless they fake of course). Female sexuality has evolved so as to maximise the chances of
… it is apparent that marriage does provide a more convenient source…
... it is apparent that marriage does provide a more convenient source of sexual activity than is to be had in any other state.
I’ve had a few orgasms – (um) I can count only one…
I've had a few orgasms - (um) I can count only one or two total in all my life with approximately fifteen lovers to...
Men’s politics is characterised by violent action and women’s by manipulative silence….
Men's politics is characterised by violent action and women's by manipulative silence. But silence proves nothing.
Sexuality & Sexual Techniques
Hi, I am Jane Thomas. I write about sexual techniques and sex play that focus on pleasuring women. I try to bring some common...
Your work is really essential and important. I’m your long term supporter….
Your work is really essential and important. I'm your long term supporter. Keep in touch ok and stay blessed. Irfan
The incidences and frequencies of marital coitus had reached their maxima in…
The incidences and frequencies of marital coitus had reached their maxima in the first year or two of marriage. From that point, they had...
Sexual promiscuity
Renate, a student of twenty-six, liked to be affectionate with her male friends but then was bewildered when they interpreted her hugs as a sexual advance. A man tends to assume that physical intimacy is a given as soon as a woman shows him any affection. A woman needs time to build the emotional intimacy
Marriage involves a man agreeing to limit his sexual opportunities elsewhere in…
Marriage involves a man agreeing to limit his sexual opportunities elsewhere in exchange for regular sex with his wife.
If female orgasm were common, surely every woman would be an orgasm…
If female orgasm were common, surely every woman would be an orgasm expert? Why are women so reluctant to comment?!
For married women today it’s difficult to square our expectations of sexual…
For married women today it’s difficult to square our expectations of sexual fulfilment with the realities of long-term relationships.
In fact the link between clitoral stimulation and female orgasm comes NOT…
In fact the link between clitoral stimulation and female orgasm comes NOT from women's experience of sex BUT from female masturbation.
The erotic pleasure a man enjoys from sex
Men typically initiate sex and they masturbate much more frequently than women do. If male sex drive only involved a desire for orgasm, then men could settle for masturbation instead of sex. Men have a reproductive or biological drive that means they need intercourse for the best sexual release. For a man, the action of