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Bringing variety of situation and technique to intercourse
Although intercourse provides little internal sensation, a woman feels some external pressure. When a man thrusts deeply [i] the base of his penis may thump or brush against her vulva (the clitoris and labia) and perineum (towards the anus). She may enjoy the eroticism of being dominated (from the whole-body contact and his weight) and
Testimonials – Thank you for your thoughtful…
Thank you for your thoughtful, informative view of sexuality. It has given me perspective and helped remove a few 'urban legends' some of us...
Alfred Kinsey Female Sexuality – … females who had used finge…
... females who had used fingers or other objects in vaginal penetrations did so ... because they wanted to entertain their male partners who...
Why sex is fun
If the male sex drive only involved a desire for orgasm, then men would be happy settling for masturbation instead of sex. No doubt a great deal of time and money would be saved but life wouldn’t be so much fun! Men have evolved a desire for penetration above all else because it leads to
Learn About Sexuality – The sensations that accompany …
The sensations that accompany orgasm vary considerably depending on the physical and psychological (erotic or emotional) circumstances that give rise to orgasm.
Sex education is not just abou…
Sex education is not just about consent. It's also about appreciating the responsibilities that come with penetrative sex.
Other Sources – When it comes to women’s prior…
When it comes to women’s priorities, why, once in a secure relationship, is sex no longer on top?
Ways Women Orgasm – Unfortunately the vagina (as p…
Unfortunately the vagina (as part of the birth canal) has very few nerve endings. Only the clitoris, the female sex organ and source of...
The misunderstandings behind sexual dysfunction
True sexual dysfunctions are very rare. The word dysfunction implies that something is not working properly. In order to define dysfunction, we must first define normal functioning. We also need to specify whether we are talking about reproductive function, erotic orgasm or emotional pleasure. A woman may feel miserable if she cannot conceive but sexual
Alfred Kinsey Male Sexuality – For most males whether single…
For most males, whether single or married, there are ever-present erotic stimuli, and sexual response is regular and high.
Shere Hite – … it is the emotional warmth…
... it is the emotional warmth shared at this time, and the feeling of being wanted and needed (not the plain physical act) which...
Love Sex Intimacy – No one thinks it an odd coinci…
No one thinks it an odd coincidence that male fantasies should define the reality of female responsiveness so precisely. Yet the basis for so-called...
Women’s ability to engage in sex is not limited by orgasm
Female orgasm is not easy and to suggest otherwise trivialises the effort women’s partners make to arouse them. Women respond to please a lover. [i] This does not make them doormats. Women have other emotional and pecuniary needs. But sexual relationships would simply not as they do function if women were as egotistical as it
Testimonials – Thank you so much Jane. You de…
Thank you so much Jane. You deserve immense love from my side for being such an excellent writer. It is a privilege for me...
Alfred Kinsey Female Sexuality – Many males however basing th…
Many males, however, basing their concepts on their understanding of coitus and upon their conceit as to the importance of the male genitalia in...
Lust is good
I suppose that I have been lucky. My sexual desire to enjoy my own sexual arousal and orgasm is evidently unusual for a woman. I know that this is unusual because most women talk of love, trust and commitment. From time to time, I positively enjoy jumping on my man. But it doesn’t work like
Learn About Sexuality – Intercourse is an activity tha…
Intercourse is an activity that facilitates male ejaculation of semen. The sperm (from the testes) pass from the penis (via the vagina) into...
Men are naturally promiscuous.…
Men are naturally promiscuous. So a woman has to offer sex to keep a man committed to supporting her family goals.
Other Sources – Surveys have revealed that 75%…
Surveys have revealed that 75% of men ejaculate within 2 minutes of penetration.
Ways Women Orgasm – Women are told that orgasm occ…
Women are told that orgasm occurs easily and naturally during sex so many believe that they orgasm when, in fact, they don't.
Sex as a bargaining chip in loving relationships
When we are single, we can focus on our own selfish needs. But when we have a relationship with another person, we need to consider their needs as well as our own. Sometimes these two demands conflict. Relationships of any kind are an inevitable compromise. Men obtain their prime emotional reward through penetrative sex. A
Alfred Kinsey Male Sexuality – There is an inclination among …
There is an inclination among psychiatrists to consider all unresponding individuals as inhibited ... This amounts to asserting that all people are more or...
Shere Hite – I wish I could have the same t…
I wish I could have the same type of orgasm I have during masturbation when I have intercourse with my husband.
Love Sex Intimacy – Female orgasm is promoted as i…
Female orgasm is promoted as if it is a relationship accessory. But orgasm is a highly specific genital response that arises because we ourselves...
Responsive women use surreal fantasy to generate arousal
Before I started my research, I hadn’t appreciated that my experience was so unusual. Reading Hite’s work in my early twenties, reassured me that I was not alone. Both Kinsey and Hite documented many women who knew that orgasm is rarely possible with a lover. But in many years of talking about sex on the
Testimonials – I thought the few great books …
I thought the few great books I read on the subject you engage with are enough but reading yours showed me how naive I...
Alfred Kinsey Female Sexuality – The minimum use of deep penetr…
The minimum use of deep penetrations of the vagina in masturbation is a reflection of the fact that the walls of the vagina itself...
How do women achieve sexual arousal during sex?
Some women happily accept the modern media’s portrayal of women as complete sexual beings, for whom spontaneously orgasmic sex is as much of a given as it is for a man. Other women find that orgasms do not ‘just happen’. Pressure to find answers comes not only from the woman who hopes to enjoy what
Learn About Sexuality – Sexuality is about appreciatin…
Sexuality is about appreciating the human body and sexual anatomy. ... It is also useful to know what kind of stimulation may be pleasurable...
Stimulation needs to cease onc…
Stimulation needs to cease once orgasm is achieved. So a cavity could never be a sex organ because it can always be penetrated.
Other Sources – While women read romantic nove…
While women read romantic novels, men read pornography. While romance packages sex with love, fidelity and marriage, pornography packages sex with violence, possession and...
Ways Women Orgasm – The degree to which we are abl…
The degree to which we are able to enjoy our sexuality depends on the balance between our desire to enjoy sexual pleasure and our...
The misconceptions that arise from pornography
Pornography provides boys with completely unrealistic images of women’s sexuality. The female body is sexualised and objectified (projected in way that causes male arousal). Such images give misleading impressions about women’s sexual willingness and availability. This issue needs to be addressed by sex educators if boys are to have healthy relationships and find emotional happiness.
Alfred Kinsey Male Sexuality – The possibility of any individ…
The possibility of any individual engaging in sexual activity at a rate that is remarkably different from one's own, is one of the most...
Shere Hite – The greatest thing is the secu…
The greatest thing is the security I feel when I'm in bed with a man. I feel loved and wanted and powerful.
Love Sex Intimacy – Sometimes it is suggested that…
Sometimes it is suggested that a woman stimulates herself once the man has come. This illustrates the inherent contradiction between the stimulation provided by...
Women’s need for affection drives regular relationship sex
While women often fail to appreciate the importance men place on eroticism, men seldom appreciate the importance women place on affection. Sex is so much more rewarding for women when they feel affection for their lover. In the early days, a man is more motivated to show his appreciation for a lover by being affectionate.
Testimonials – Thank you for sharing with us …
Thank you for sharing with us what you have learned and studied and more than happy to keep sharing, we need to open our...
Alfred Kinsey Female Sexuality – The active incidences of mastu…
The active incidences of masturbation were lowest in the younger groups, and highest in the older groups of females.
Eroticism
Men and women live in different worlds when it comes to attitudes to eroticism. I suggested that most women today know how to pleasure a man but a British sex expert (male) disagreed: “They haven’t a clue, and even if they knew, most wouldn’t do it.” A joke illustrates the point: “What is the difference
Learn About Sexuality – Abortion is an issue connected…
Abortion is an issue connected with the freedom women now share with men to be sexually active without the need for a supportive relationship...
Other Sources – Most guys feel like they are a…
Most guys feel like they are always the initiator and that sets up disequilibrium on the passion scale in the relationship.
Ways Women Orgasm – Female sexuality is often defi…
Female sexuality is often defined in terms of a woman's attractiveness to men rather than her own true state of sexual arousal. It is...
Men and women’s perspectives on relationships
Sexuality is about a sexual relationship, which includes social, emotional and sexual aspects. Long-term committed relationships are vital to supporting families over the decades needed to raise children. Men tend to focus on their sexual needs while most women hope for affectionate companionship. Sex education should present the different moral and social issues that are
Alfred Kinsey Male Sexuality – Considering the importance whi…
Considering the importance which sexual problems have in the practice of psychiatry, medicine, psychology, and counselling of every sort, it is disconcerting to realize...
Shere Hite – There is great pressure on wom…
There is great pressure on women in our society now to say they like ‘sex’.
Love Sex Intimacy – Pornography involves portrayin…
Pornography involves portraying male fantasies that help men reach orgasm when they masturbate alone. Nevertheless, sexologists seem to think that porn is a reasonable...
Women have sex for emotional (rather than erotic) reasons
Sexual phenomena, such as arousal and orgasm, rely on explicitly adult themes. Anyone, who assumes these phenomena only occur in a relationship [i] with one person, is mistaking the romantic rewards of lovemaking with a loving partner for an erotic response that provides a sexual release. It is often suggested that women enjoy sex. This
Testimonials – I’ve read articles on your web…
I've read articles on your website, viewed the YouTube videos on your channel and your message highly resonates with my experience. Rahat
Alfred Kinsey Female Sexuality – Many males projecting their o…
Many males, projecting their own experience, are inclined to overestimate the incidences and frequencies of masturbation among females.
Physical intimacy
In the film ‘Basic Instinct’ (1992) Michael Douglas, playing the detective, asks Sharon Stone, playing the millionairess, whether she enjoyed having sex with her ex-lover. She replies that she liked having sex with him because he was ‘good with his hands’. Pleasuring a woman is more likely to involve a man using his hands during
Learn About Sexuality – Sexual responses do not change…
Sexual responses do not change over decades. Only women's sexual behaviours change as fashion dictates and because of improved policing.
Sex drive is a strong physiolo…
Sex drive is a strong physiological urge. It is not affected by factors such as the availability of reliable contraception.
Other Sources – Biologically and hormonally m…
Biologically and hormonally, men are MUCH MORE driven to be sexual than women are.
Ways Women Orgasm – The phrase ‘orgasm techniques’…
The phrase 'orgasm techniques' sounds fancy but only means getting turned-on and then knowing how to orgasm by stimulating our genitals. Men also use...
Everyone achieves orgasm in similar ways
Orgasm is a primitive response of the human body. It is achieved through an identical mechanism regardless of gender and orientation. The key characteristics of orgasm include: mental arousal must precede stimulation, stimulation focuses on massaging the blood flow within the corpora cavernosa of the phallus and stimulation ceases once orgasm is achieved. People often
Alfred Kinsey Male Sexuality – Homosexual child play is … f…
Homosexual child play is ... fostered by his socially encouraged disdain for girls' ways, by his admiration for masculine prowess, and by his desire...
Shere Hite – To me orgasms have nothing to …
To me orgasms have nothing to do with regular male/female sex. Orgasm is not necessary because I can give them to myself in masturbation.
Love Sex Intimacy – Sex manuals suggest that a man…
Sex manuals suggest that a man should offer foreplay before heading for his own orgasm through intercourse. But as Kinsey noted decades ago, foreplay...
Male arousal is acute but female arousal is subconscious
When we look at how men orgasm, it is clear that a man must have an erection before he can attempt orgasm. Only when a man has an erection, does the penis respond (when the shaft is massaged) in such a way as to cause orgasm. This is true regardless of the activity a man
Testimonials – You have very vast knowledge o…
You have very vast knowledge of everything that is impressive. It is simply excellent I love it. Please continue to share such a rare...
Alfred Kinsey Female Sexuality – While these physical changes a…
While these physical changes at adolescence are a fundamental part of the process by which the female becomes mature enough to reproduce, they seem...
Emotional intimacy
Enjoying sex for life involves continuing to be thrilled by each other’s company in a broader sense than just sex. It involves demonstrating affection by reacting sensitively to each other’s needs. The physical intimacy of sex (because of its highly personal nature) leads to emotional intimacy where there is trust and respect. Women perhaps focus
Learn About Sexuality – Reliable contraception cannot …
Reliable contraception cannot change women's instinctive responses that have evolved over millions of years.
It’s easy to suggest PHYSICAL …
It's easy to suggest PHYSICAL STIMULATION techniques but what is the point if no one can name any EROTIC TURN-ONS that cause female arousal?
Other Sources – The problem I’ve heard most ab…
The problem I’ve heard most about over the years… is the problem of mismatched desire… which is the issue of sex-starved men and reluctant...
Ways Women Orgasm – If a couple has some understan…
If a couple has some understanding of the different rewards that men and women obtain from sex, they can make sure that there is...
Explaining men and women’s sexual behaviours
Men and women behave very differently in sexual scenarios. Key behaviours include male promiscuity, women’s sexual passivity and women’s focus on relationships. We use behaviours to enhance the way others see us. This has nothing to do with responsiveness. Women use behaviours more than men do. Some people try to enhance the perception others have
Alfred Kinsey Male Sexuality – In the younger boy there is no…
In the younger boy there is no ejaculate because the prostate and seminal vesicles are not yet functionally developed, and in the female those...
Shere Hite – The woman-in-the-street (most …
The woman-in-the-street (most of us) still has the impression that it is ‘normal’ to orgasm from male thrusting.
Love Sex Intimacy – Men cannot accept that without…
Men cannot accept that without a sex drive, women have no reason to be remotely interested in sex. Rather than try to convince men...
Some men expect women to make sex exciting for them
Films use sound effects to indicate a couple having sex off-screen: a regular banging (of a bed against a wall) and the woman’s vocal accompaniment. Such scenes may represent a turn-on for men but it seems to me that men enjoy making female arousal into a tasteless joke. Male fantasies put tremendous pressure on women
Testimonials – It is SO SO easy to have unrea…
It is SO SO easy to have unreal expectations of a woman and hence become selfish as we live in such a 'what can...
Alfred Kinsey Female Sexuality – … the pre-adolescent boy’s c…
... the pre-adolescent boy's capacities for specifically sexual responses develop rapidly as he nears adolescence. This is not matched by any similar rise in...
Spice up your sex life
A young woman, who had promised her father that she would remain a virgin until a certain age, complied with his request by having anal sex with her partners (Note: STD protection and contraceptives still required). Unsurprisingly, she was very popular with men who tend not to be so hung-up about breaking sexual taboos. To
Learn About Sexuality – If we are to understand men an…
If we are to understand men and women's sexuality, we must never forget that Nature wants us to engage foremost in intercourse. Male sex...
There’s amazingly little diffe…
There's amazingly little difference between the theories of sexologists & the emotional beliefs of the general population.
Other Sources – Men’s illusions about women ar…
Men’s illusions about women are long on fantasy and short on reality… the more experience a man has with women in the real world,...
Ways Women Orgasm – Whatever taunts are thrown out…
Whatever taunts are thrown out by men looking for a frivolous lay, in the longer term men respect a more picky woman.
Sexual behaviours compensate for responsiveness
We cannot start to understand sexuality unless we differentiate between responsiveness and conscious behaviours . For the most part, our minds and bodies function in similar ways regardless of sex or orientation. We cannot control the level of our sex drive, the erotic stimuli that cause our arousal and the frequency with which we orgasm.
Alfred Kinsey Male Sexuality – … the average age of onset of …
… the average age of onset of adolescence in the white male is about 13 years and 7 months.
Shere Hite – Of the 82 percent of women who…
Of the 82 percent of women who said they masturbated, 95 percent could orgasm easily and regularly, whenever they wanted.
Love Sex Intimacy – People are amazed when I quest…
People are amazed when I question the orgasms actresses are portrayed as having in pornography. They cannot believe that anyone would doubt the fiction....
Women have more reason to invest in a loving relationship
Young women cannot possibly imagine the challenge of a sexual relationship spanning decades. They experience sex through spontaneous and romantic interludes. Long-term relationships take effort on both sides. They are not a whirlwind of sexual passion from beginning to end. A man enjoys sexual activity most with a lover who assumes a proactive role in
Testimonials – Let us enjoy and savour life. …
Let us enjoy and savour life. I invite you to read some very wise words about eroticism from a very knowledgeable lady. Thanks to...
Alfred Kinsey Female Sexuality – We do not believe that the hap…
We do not believe that the happiness of individual men, and the good of the total social organization, is ever furthered by the perpetuation...
How to pleasure a man
Tracy Cox (author of ‘Hot Sex’ 1998) tells the story of a woman who welcomes her partner home wearing a sexy nightdress, with champagne by the bed and a pornographic movie ready to play. If she does this regularly over the longer term then I take my hat off to her! Her partner is a
Learn About Sexuality – Given her lack of erotic arous…
Given her lack of erotic arousal with a lover, a woman has no incentive to be proactive in sexual activity of any kind unless...
Jane Thomas talks about the ev…
Jane Thomas talks about the evidence from biological & evolutionary precedents.
Other Sources – The idea of ‘no-strings attach…
The idea of ‘no-strings attached’ sex is very attractive to most men, gay or straight.
Ways Women Orgasm – A man tends to assume that phy…
A man tends to assume that physical intimacy is a given as soon as a woman shows him any affection. A woman needs time...
Misunderstandings over how orgasm is achieved
The issue of female orgasm with a lover is at the core of sexual politics. Men want to feel valued as lovers. Women want to keep men happy in bed so they get other things in exchange such as love, support and companionship. The confusion over female orgasm is down to two main factors. Firstly