The internal anatomy involved in reproduction
Our sex is determined by chromosomes. A man has an XY chromosome and a woman has an XX chromosome. There are other combinations (involving three chromosomes) but the Y chromosome is associated with being male. A boy inherits a Y chromosome from his father. The father’s genes (not the mother’s) determine the sex of a
The female erectile sex organ (or phallus)
In the absence of testosterone, the genital tubercle forms the female phallus , called the clitoris. The clitoris consists of the glans and the internal organ. The clitoral glans is located just above the vaginal opening. Most of the clitoris (the body or shaft) is internal. Just below the mons pubis (that is covered with
The male erectile sex organ (or phallus)
A man’s sex organ (penis) is separate from his internal reproductive anatomy (testes and glands) but also integral. The penis has three main functions. Firstly men use their penis to urinate (but only when flaccid). Urine and semen both pass down the urethra, the tube which extends through the length of the penis. When a
Human sexual anatomy and development
Sexuality is about appreciating the human body and sexual anatomy . We should understand the function of the male and female genitalia as well as the changes that occur throughout our lives. It is also useful to know what kind of stimulation may be pleasurable or is involved in achieving orgasm. The step of evolving
The influence of religious beliefs on sexuality
Each culture has its own set of values. Some people consider these beliefs to be more important than others. While we are children, our parents make choices for us in the belief that they are for our benefit. Once we are adult, we can decide on our own values. Research indicates that both the cultural
Responsibility for contraception and abortion
The (contraceptive) pill, taken on a daily basis by a woman, contains hormones that stop her ovaries producing eggs. A condom, worn by the man over his penis during intercourse, prevents semen entering the vagina. A woman can wear a rubber diaphragm over her cervix (neck of the uterus). A woman can also have a
Intercourse involves reproductive risk for women
Men tend to focus on sexual pleasure so we often equate sexuality to responsiveness. Orgasm is certainly one erotic pleasure that motivates a person to initiate sexual activity. But sexuality is, in fact, foremost about reproduction. Pleasure is merely a by-product. Given the key role of intercourse in male sexuality, it is tempting to assume
Intercourse needs to continue until ejaculation
A man is biologically motivated to impregnate a woman through an on-going process of demonstrating his virility (as a potent male who may be in demand from other women). Ejaculating into a lover’s body is the natural conclusion to the male arousal cycle. A man needs intercourse to dissipate accumulated sexual frustration and to feel
Intercourse is the heterosexual lovemaking act
When a man and a woman are attracted to each other, intercourse feels very natural. This is no coincidence. The male and female body fit together to allow a sexual coupling. The mating position used by other mammals is rear entry (doggy position). Women tend to feel humiliated by this subjugated position. Most societies use
Why women feel inadequate about their bodies
Given women’s dislike of genitals, many of the terms for the female genitals come from men and are considered obscene by women. Rather than refer to explicit anatomy, most women prefer to gesture and make vague references to ‘down there’. We can use ‘pussy’ for girls as the equivalent slang to ‘willie’ for boys. A
Why men feel inadequate over penis size
Men’s sexual role (after impregnating women) is to protect the family. In an aggressive situation a man must be physically large and muscular to intimidate an opponent. In a political situation he must be assertive and competent enough to impress an adversary. A man has more natural authority than a woman has. On the other
How the male and female sexual roles differ
Primitive life, such as bacteria, reproduce asexually. But most animals and plants reproduce sexually. Offspring inherit genes from both parents. Even in plants, the process for enabling the male gamete to join with the female gamete is engineered by the male reproductive part of the plant. There is competition between male gametes because only one
Diversity: our sex, our personality and our gender
Sexuality includes our sex, our personality and our gender . The reason we have two sexes is for diversity. Some people like being different. They like the attention they get and they may take steps to differentiate themselves from others by dressing or behaving differently. Others have no choice in being different from others and
Reproduction involves more than just intercourse
Sexuality is about reproduction . But human reproduction involves much more than intercourse. The distinct male and female roles are apparent from nature. The female produces the egg and the male fertilises it. We are all a product of genes from one man and one woman. A man has a protruding phallus (penis) and a
Alfred Kinsey’s research findings (1948 and 1953)
Alfred Kinsey and his colleagues held private interviews with over 10,000 people. His team classified people according to sex, age and education level. They then produced tables to see if there were any correlations between sexual activity and personal characteristics. Kinsey used the frequency of orgasm (responsiveness) as a measure of sexuality. His work was
Men have typically led the research into sexuality
Sigmund Freud, the Austrian psychologist (1856 to 1939), was the first scientist of note to talk of female sexuality. Freud’s methods were based on observation rather than science. He treated women for what was believed to be repression of their natural sexual urges. In those days, few couples in the population were aware that women
Sexual pleasure need not always focus on orgasm
Alfred Kinsey concluded that any research that involved making subjective judgements of the emotional rewards of sex activity would make it impossible to compare individual experiences (because of personal interpretation). He chose to use responsiveness as an objective measure of sexual activity. Measuring physical phenomenon is a very natural male perspective on sexual function. Kinsey
Why women do not orgasm from cunnilingus
Men believe that cunnilingus causes female orgasm. But where does this belief come from? It doesn’t come from any research findings. Cunnilingus is clearly associated with pornography rather than women’s sexual pleasure. Misunderstandings over cunnilingus arise primarily because of the belief that women are aroused by the prospect of sexual activity in exactly the same
Sexual pleasure is defined by sociable activity
Mammals use grooming to connect socially with others. They also snuggle up together for warmth and comfort. Regardless of responsiveness, it can be reassuring to feel the proximity of another person’s body: the gentle rise and fall of their abdomen, the warmth and feel of their skin are comforting. The pleasures a woman enjoys from
Only some men are motivated to offer foreplay
There must inevitably be some men who are content with the frequency and quality of sex that their female partners provide. This may be because they are less responsive than the average male so they can better accommodate women’s lesser sexual interest. But it is also equally certain that many men are quite oblivious to
A man needs to make sex exciting for a woman
When women see men, they think of sex. You could equally well say that men think the same thing when they see women. But the reasons are very different. When men see women, they become aroused and so they think of having sex. But women are not aroused by men. A woman knows various men
Sexual techniques that may pleasure a woman
Men engage in sexual activity to release accumulated arousal through thrusting and orgasm. By contrast, even responsive women only generate the kind of arousal that leads to orgasm by consciously focusing on explicit erotic fantasies during masturbation alone. Women (regardless of orientation) are not consciously aroused (in their mind) with a lover and so cannot
How a couple can bring variety to intercourse
Few women provide explicit erotic turn-ons. But most, at least initially, are affectionate. Demonstrating affection involves close physical intimacy and causes male arousal. When a man is overwhelmed by sensations of arousal , he assumes that a woman feels exactly the same responses. He can interpret her affection as a turn-on because, to him, it
A man wants a partner to make love to his penis
When aroused, men experience rigidity of the sex organ (the penis). But this increased blood flow, although concentrated in the genitals can also affect the sensitivity of other parts of the body (called tumescence). So when sexually aroused, a man may enjoy being stroked and sucked on almost any part of his body, for example:
Sexual techniques that may pleasure a man
Men hope that a lover will enjoy contributing enthusiastically to their intimate time together: sharing fantasies, sex play and affection. Arousing a man is easy, if a woman knows how men respond. A woman can flirt by playing along with male fantasies. These details of sexual activity (that arouse men) have no erotic significance for
How to make the most of sexual pleasuring
Sexuality is about enjoying sexual pleasure with a lover. We experience sensual, emotional and erotic pleasure. A sex education should include a description of sexual techniques that may be used to pleasure men and women. These should differentiate between those techniques which assist with orgasm and those which provide sensual pleasure. We orgasm with a
Why couples struggle to communicate over sex
Sex is most rewarding for a woman in the romantic scenario of a new relationship. In the beginning a man’s easy arousal means that sex is fairly effortless for a woman. Decades later it is not necessarily so easy. Over time intercourse can become a mechanical act. It is neither erotic nor loving. This happens
How a woman can interest a man in having sex
Sex occurs much more easily in the early stages of a relationship because being affectionate with each other provides the most natural lead-in to sex. First a woman offers some affectionate interaction by touching or kissing her lover. Her lover communicates his sexual need by kissing back with passion, by touching the woman with an
How a man can have relationship sex more often
Nature never intended men to be monogamous. In every society, men’s greater inclination for promiscuity is accepted as a natural and defining characteristic of male sexuality. A woman offers sex to a man because she knows that if she doesn’t, he will go looking for another woman. So women’s need for male support, has contributed
The role of relationship therapists and counsellors
Adults are embarrassed about sex because of their emotional insecurities. Our emotional needs include a need to impress, a need to belong and a need to be valued. Some people lack self-esteem, which stems from anxiety. We avoid discussing relationship issues for various reasons. We want to avoid conflict. We don’t want to admit that
Anorgasmia, preorgasmia and vaginismus
Women who masturbate themselves to orgasm are called pre-orgasmic. Rather than celebrate the fact that they experience orgasm , the implication is that women are inadequate because (regardless of any scientific facts or logic) they cannot please a man by having their orgasms during intercourse. Men’s sex drive makes intercourse an obligatory activity for heterosexuals.
Premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunction
It’s not uncommon for a man to have a problem with erections from time to time. But erectile dysfunction (ED) that happens routinely is not normal and should be treated. ED is defined as difficulty getting or keeping an erection that’s firm enough for intercourse. ED is the most common sexual problem that men report
The misunderstandings behind sexual dysfunction
True sexual dysfunctions are very rare. The word dysfunction implies that something is not working properly. In order to define dysfunction, we must first define normal functioning. We also need to specify whether we are talking about reproductive function, erotic orgasm or emotional pleasure. A woman may feel miserable if she cannot conceive but sexual
Sex as a bargaining chip in loving relationships
When we are single, we can focus on our own selfish needs. But when we have a relationship with another person, we need to consider their needs as well as our own. Sometimes these two demands conflict. Relationships of any kind are an inevitable compromise. Men obtain their prime emotional reward through penetrative sex. A
The misconceptions that arise from pornography
Pornography provides boys with completely unrealistic images of women’s sexuality. The female body is sexualised and objectified (projected in way that causes male arousal). Such images give misleading impressions about women’s sexual willingness and availability. This issue needs to be addressed by sex educators if boys are to have healthy relationships and find emotional happiness.
Men and women’s perspectives on relationships
Sexuality is about a sexual relationship, which includes social, emotional and sexual aspects. Long-term committed relationships are vital to supporting families over the decades needed to raise children. Men tend to focus on their sexual needs while most women hope for affectionate companionship. Sex education should present the different moral and social issues that are
Everyone achieves orgasm in similar ways
Orgasm is a primitive response of the human body. It is achieved through an identical mechanism regardless of gender and orientation. The key characteristics of orgasm include: mental arousal must precede stimulation, stimulation focuses on massaging the blood flow within the corpora cavernosa of the phallus and stimulation ceases once orgasm is achieved. People often
Explaining men and women’s sexual behaviours
Men and women behave very differently in sexual scenarios. Key behaviours include male promiscuity, women’s sexual passivity and women’s focus on relationships. We use behaviours to enhance the way others see us. This has nothing to do with responsiveness. Women use behaviours more than men do. Some people try to enhance the perception others have
Sexual behaviours compensate for responsiveness
We cannot start to understand sexuality unless we differentiate between responsiveness and conscious behaviours . For the most part, our minds and bodies function in similar ways regardless of sex or orientation. We cannot control the level of our sex drive, the erotic stimuli that cause our arousal and the frequency with which we orgasm.
Misunderstandings over how orgasm is achieved
The issue of female orgasm with a lover is at the core of sexual politics. Men want to feel valued as lovers. Women want to keep men happy in bed so they get other things in exchange such as love, support and companionship. The confusion over female orgasm is down to two main factors. Firstly
Women have varying degrees of sexual willingness
Human beings are sociable animals. Most of us want to be accepted in our social group. We want to share experiences. We hope to enjoy the company of others. We are reassured by the support of family, friends and a lover. It is also a survival strategy because humans tend to attack those who are
Women are often disappointed with casual sex
We are all living longer due to improved health and lifestyles. So ‘til death do us part’ is much longer than it used to be centuries ago. Some couples like the idea that they are not bound solely to each other for decades. For most couples this is not an option and adultery is a
The idea that women are naturally aroused with a lover
Jane’s slides on ‘Relationship Sex’ help explain female arousal. The very first time I had sex, I knew that something was up. I felt absolutely nothing. I just lay there wondering what was going on until my partner had finished. I concluded the whole thing was a hoax. But because of the ignorance in our
Women attract men by sexualising themselves
We wear clothes for protection, for warmth, for decency and also for display. The need to differentiate ourselves depends on our personality. Many women believe it is an essential part of their femininity to display their bodies. As long as there are no consequences (they are protected from male advances), women enjoy the admiration they
The sexual politics of women competing over men
If men and women wanted the same thing there would be no sexual politics . Men and women are at odds because they want different things. Marriage comes with its privileges and obligations. A man’s reward is regular sex. A woman’s reward is caring for those she loves. Sexual politics involves men and women using
Sex as a competitive sport and erotic entertainment
A woman values a man as a social asset (who has status and experience). But a man values a woman as a sexual asset. A young woman is a trophy because of her attractiveness and her inexperience. A man enjoys knowing that his lover is attractive not only to himself but also to other men.
Women are not respected for being promiscuous
A polite way of expressing some men’s enjoyment of promiscuity is to say that they like the ladies. There is no equivalent expression to describe a woman who is promiscuous. The term lady is used as a form of respect that is needed because of the disrespect men often display towards women. A man defends
Prostitution generally involves men paying for sex
There have always been some women who are willing to offer men sex on demand. But they want to be paid. By far the most common form of prostitution involves women providing sexual services to men. The second most common sexual service is for gay men (4% of the male population). Women usually pay male
The sex industry focuses on male gratification
Sexuality is about talking, observing or interacting with others in return for payment or other non-relationship rewards. Depending on our personality we may employ a variety of behaviours and attitudes to attract, impress or arouse a potential lover. Sexual contacts are usually a private affair. We are either alone or with one other person. Most
Welcome to Learn About Sexuality!
Our society provides no sex education . The magazine articles, we glance at occasionally, regurgitate the same old wives’ tales. We rely on so-called sex experts not because they have special knowledge or experience but just because so few people are willing to talk about sex in public. Despite the universal silence from women on
Differences between men and women’s responses
One of the major differences between the way men and women respond in sexual scenarios is that being touched by a lover, is emotionally significant to men. A man takes pleasure in stimulating his penis when alone because he is aroused. But his pleasure with a lover is much greater because of the emotional acceptance
How we know that someone has had an orgasm
Orgasm is a subconscious response but we need to take conscious actions to achieve it. A responsive person knows when they have had an orgasm because they took specific and focused steps to get there. Arousal (and hence orgasm) relies on what happens in the mind. Some women assume they have an orgasm just by
Women mistake emotional sensations for orgasm
Female orgasm is not an issue in sexual relationships because the vast majority of women accept sex for what it is. Such women describe orgasm in terms of emotional factors. For some women this means they accept that orgasm does not occur with a lover. For others, they may assume that orgasm occurs but they
Similarities between men and women’s responses
Orgasm is a basic physiological response of the human body. Just as the same mechanism causes men and women to sneeze, so we also orgasm in the same way. Regardless of gender and orientation, both the anatomy and the trigger are the same. We massage the tumescent phallus and focus our minds on explicit aspects
The male psychology of seeing a lover as a sex object
Unlike emotional attachments, arousal is not caused by a specific person or by a relationship. Arousal relies on being able to see a person, to some degree, as an object. Arousal is achieved when the mind focuses on objects or concepts that a person finds arousing. Arousal mechanisms (erotic turn-ons) involve physical attributes and the
Mental arousal combines with a thrusting instinct
Men can orgasm from non-reproductive activity such as fellatio or masturbation. But men obtain the most satisfying sexual release by ejaculating into a lover’s body. So although another person is not absolutely necessary for men to enjoy orgasm, it is typically preferred. So men naturally assume that women have the same preference. But female arousal
The mental focus required to achieve orgasm
Anyone who masturbates needs to use fantasy for arousal. Turn-ons are erotic concepts or images that motivate us to engage in sexual activity. We enjoy the sensations of arousal that result from exploring our fantasies. Sex involves our enjoyment of mental arousal through an appreciation of eroticism (men tend to use graphic images and realistic
Arousal is psychological and arises in the mind
Sexual arousal arises in the brain and is a form of nervous excitement. In other words, the nervous system is disturbed (more agitated than its normal resting state). Both our breathing and heart rate are elevated due to the brain activity. Sexual arousal occurs initially subconsciously. But at some point, we become conscious of our
Orgasm is an instinctive response to erotic stimuli
Orgasm is an instinctive response. That means that even when we have no prior knowledge or experience of orgasm , we are still able to discover it. It has to be that way because otherwise the human race (and other animals) would not exist. We haven’t always had books or even word of mouth to
Orgasm is a one-off release of sexual tension
Sexuality is about appreciating what causes us to become aroused and learning how we can achieve orgasm both alone and with a lover. Orgasm is foremost a response of the nervous system. For adults (even premature ejaculators), orgasm is always consciously engineered in a situation where the mind responds erotically and by stimulating the phallus.
Justifying evolutionary and biological precedents
Human sexuality does not stand alone. It is part of a wider picture of the sexuality of all other lifeforms. Even plants have male and female parts and reproduce sexually (the new life has characteristics from both parents). The male is the more active part and is proactive in fertilising the female. The female part
Providing sex information without political bias
Most adults would probably agree on the need to educate children about sex. But it is much more difficult to obtain consensus on what children should be told. No one is confident about what children should be told because of the contradictions, the harassment, the manipulation, the deceit and the exploitation. There are many sources
How we know that female orgasm is uncommon
Orgasm is achieved by stimulating specific anatomy. This is because mental arousal causes the erectile organ (the phallus) to become tumescent. Confusion over the anatomy involved in female orgasm arises on two counts. Firstly women are not aroused with a lover, so they do not focus on obtaining the stimulation they need for orgasm. Secondly
Women only orgasm when alone not with a lover
Men’s drive to penetrate inherently involves another person. But women do not have this hormonal drive that men have. So women have not evolved the ability to be aroused by a man’s body because their orgasm does not contribute to the reproductive process. There is no reason why female orgasm should occur during sexual activity
We (not a sex toy or lover) cause our own orgasm
Even when a sex organ is capable of penetration (as the penis is), it cannot cause a lover’s orgasm . For a person to orgasm, they must be motivated to obtain the correct stimulation of their own phallus. Men are aroused biologically and automatically; women are not. The physical stimulation involved in achieving orgasm is
How we know that female masturbation is rare
Kinsey concluded that masturbation was not only the quickest way for a woman to orgasm (4 minutes on average) but also the most reliable way (95% success rate). Women’s masturbatory activities provided the clearest evidence for female orgasm. Kinsey found that 20% of women masturbated regularly. So his work indicates that around 20% of women
The kind of stimulation that leads to orgasm
Regardless of orientation, men orgasm through intercourse, masturbation and fellatio. A man’s arousal (in the form of an erection) also gives him a clear indication of the anatomy he wants to stimulate. By contrast women, including lesbians, enjoy more sensual whole-body and emotional pleasures with a lover because of their lack of arousal. This contributes
Women’s fantasies are sexually explicit scenarios
A responsive woman’s use of fantasies means her experiences do not fit with any of the descriptions of sexual activity that we see portrayed in society. Sexual activity is usually sociable but it is also portrayed in graphic terms. When something happens in your head, it can be purely conceptual. This is probably why women
How women masturbate themselves to orgasm
Women may be mildly curious about genitals but they are not aroused by them. Neither are women hormonally aroused as younger men are. So most women are not remotely curious about masturbation . Female orgasm is rare. So we will never have millions of women agreeing on how they orgasm . The best we can
Educated men masturbate more than other men
Masturbation is least common among less educated males (89%). More men who are high school educated (95%) and men who are college educated (96%) are involved in masturbation for at least some period of their lives. Masturbation frequencies after marriage are highest (69%) among men who are college educated. Only 42% of men, who are
How men masturbate themselves to orgasm
Few boys masturbate before the onset of adolescence. Only 10% of boys are masturbating by the age of nine and only 13% by ten years of age. Male masturbation frequencies vary significantly in the population indicating not only a range in responsiveness but also variations in how different men can use their minds to enjoy
How anyone achieves orgasm when they are alone
Sexuality is about enjoying the responsiveness of our own body through masturbation. Our mind’s ability to respond to erotic scenarios (both real and imagined) causes us to investigate our body’s responses. Orgasm is a response of the brain. Our minds respond to erotic stimuli regardless of our relationship status and the availability of a partner.
How we know women do not orgasm with a lover
Neither women themselves nor their lovers ever comment on the obvious contradiction over assumptions about the female anatomy involved in orgasm. A woman is assumed to orgasm through intercourse (stimulation of the vagina) in a way that complements the male anatomy. The vagina complements the penis in reproductive terms. A woman is also assumed to
Why couples don’t discuss female arousal
Much of the sexual activity between heterosexuals is carried on without communication. Once intimacy has been established, by kissing for example, a man assumes that he has been accepted as a lover. He increases his exploration of a woman’s body. A woman responds by allowing him access to her body. There is no explicit discussion.
Women fake orgasm to reassure men’s sexual ego
Faking orgasm provides an easy way for a woman to speed up sex and get it over with as quickly as possible. If a woman lies (by faking orgasm ) to a man he finds her hugely attractive. If she’s honest then he finds another woman. What do men expect? Some women consider faking to
Women make conscious effort to respond sexually
With all the fiction surrounding women’s sexuality, it is important to appreciate that female sexuality has not evolved solely for the purpose of gratifying male ego. Women can’t respond in certain ways simply because men would like them to (unless they fake of course). Female sexuality has evolved so as to maximise the chances of
The erotic pleasure a man enjoys from sex
Men typically initiate sex and they masturbate much more frequently than women do. If male sex drive only involved a desire for orgasm, then men could settle for masturbation instead of sex. Men have a reproductive or biological drive that means they need intercourse for the best sexual release. For a man, the action of
Men are aroused by seeing and stimulating genitals
Children of both sexes are indifferent to genitals . They may be mildly curious but they consider genitals to be ugly and smelly parts of the body. At puberty, the increase in male responsiveness causes young men to be fascinated by genitals. For women the connotations from childhood continue into adulthood because women are not
Only men are aroused by the prospect of sex
Men often vocalise their appreciation on seeing an attractive woman but men are rarely on the receiving end of similar flattery from women. Men never seem to notice that women are not aroused by men’s bodies. Many men like to display their sexual interest as bravado. They never notice that women do not admire men
Understanding a man’s need for erotic turn-ons
For most people, sexual activity whether alone or with a lover is a private affair. We rarely see other people engaging in sexual activity. We rely on fictional accounts from books or movies. Most of this fictional activity involves sociable situations. Masturbatory activities are less commonly portrayed. Men’s key focus is penetrative sex. Male erotic
An arousal trigger is either an object or a concept
Some boys and young men can be so highly aroused that they orgasm spontaneously or with little time needed to become aroused. But most adults (and certainly women) need a period of time to build the kind of arousal that leads to orgasm. Arousal arises as an instinctive response to turn-ons, which are objects or
Some people enjoy abstract eroticism and fantasy
Sexuality is about our motivation to explore our fantasies both during masturbation alone and during sex play with a lover. Our ability to reach orgasm ultimately depends on what happens in the brain. We tend to focus on the mechanics of sex but erotic pleasure is foremost about turn-ons. Men enjoy the turn-on of penetration
Asking young women to define female sexuality
Young women are naturally impressed by men’s greater confidence. They are full of romantic illusions and curiosity. They have the inexperience and the optimism of youth. It’s easy for a woman to give a man the pleasure he wants. Young women can’t understand why older women recommend modesty and restraint. They enjoy the novelty of
Difficulties in assessing women’s sexuality
Our understanding of female sexuality must reflect what real women are physically and emotionally capable of. The advantage of a realistic approach is that couples can build on what is practically achievable rather than hanker after an impossible fantasy. Men stress about what they can do or say to get a woman into bed. So
Sex without consent is rape regardless of intent
It’s important to appreciate that the situation where a man rapes random strangers is rare. These men (called rapists) specifically enjoy the violence of the
Child sexual abuse, incest and paedophilia
Paedophiles blatantly challenge the concept of consent. Paedophilia involves a few men who are sexually attracted to pre-pubescent children. Many paedophiles control their urges and avoid coming into contact with children. Others do eventually act on their urges by exposing themselves to children, watching naked children, masturbating themselves in front of children or touching children’s
Domestic violence and emotional abuse in the home
Domestic violence (violence in the home), with women and children as primary victims, is a major worldwide epidemic. The majority, an estimated 90 percent to 95 percent, of victims in heterosexual relationships are women. It is estimated that at least 3 million to 4 million women are beaten by their husbands or partners annually in
The idea that intercourse should cause female orgasm
Jane talks about orgasm through intercourse with speaker notes! If any of us receive a sex education (which most of us do not), the explanations given rarely go further than the basic so-called facts of life. We are told about intercourse and the mechanics of reproduction. If we are really lucky, we are told about
Sexual insults, bullying and habitual harassment
Young people should understand what makes a positive relationship and what makes a bad one. There are benefits and risks involved in relationships depending on the degree of sexual intimacy. Before we can formulate our own view without being coerced by undue pressure from others, we need a minimum level of maturity, experience, self-esteem and
Sexual scenarios tend to be biased in men’s favour
No one ever admits that sex is biased in men’s favour. Accounts of female orgasm are heavily promoted and accounts of harassment, exploitation and rape are hushed up. A woman doesn’t need sex. So sex, and all its issues, is a male problem. Sex is foremost a biological male need that some men can satisfy
Male propaganda: saying women should enjoy sex
Ask a woman in any developing country about sex and she will tell you it is for male pleasure and making babies. Try asking a woman in a developed country the same question and you get silence. Sexual politics is created by men’s desire for intercourse. Men will not accept what women say about sex
Intercourse is a territorial act of male dominance
In a society where men and women raise families together, intercourse is presented as a lovemaking act. But by looking at Nature we can see that mating is an act of male assault. By depositing his sperm in a woman’s body, a man potentially forces her to bear his progeny. A woman responds to rape
Penetration is what makes sex erotic and taboo
Penetrative sex (both anal and vaginal intercourse) has a special role in our concept of eroticism. Penetration by a phallus is key to our view of what sex is about. Both sexes may be aroused by the concept of either being the penetrator or being penetrated regardless of sexual orientation. Both men and women can
The significance of nudity and being touched
Private parts refer to the anatomy that we may want (or be required) to cover up. Private parts include the buttocks, the genitals and the female breasts. Girls are discouraged from showing their panties. Boys learn to keep their penis hidden. It may be considered indecent to show too much bare flesh. Parents often think
Consent is vital even within loving relationships
Sexuality is about the choices we make to explore our sexuality both alone and with a lover. The way in which we express our sexuality should show consideration towards others. Everyone should be free to make their own sexual decisions without undue influence. We have the choice to remain a virgin or to be celibate.
Why sex education is vital today more than ever
Jane talks about ‘Learn About Sexuality’ with slides. Even though adults may have decades of sexual experience, they are often so intimidated by the confidence of the younger generation that they assume young people know more about sex than they do. The young may be the most sexually active but inevitably they are also ignorant
Why women cannot orgasm through intercourse
Male orgasm through intercourse is crucial to human reproductive biology. (1) Intercourse is totally defined by male responses Intercourse is a demonstration of the male arousal cycle, from erection to ejaculation. Intercourse is only possible once a man has an erection and it comes to an end once he has had an orgasm (the trigger
How we know that the vagina is not a sex organ
Orgasm is a primitive and fundamental response of the human body because male orgasm triggers ejaculation, which is vital for reproduction. Male orgasm involves the brain (which responds to erotic stimuli by increasing blood flow to the genitals) and the penis. The penis and the clitoris develop from the genital tubercle in the foetus. They
Women’s orgasm claims do not result in more sex
Let’s imagine, for a moment, that men and women experience the same level of responsiveness ( orgasm frequency). Even so, responsiveness varies between individuals. There would inevitably be times when one lover or the other wanted more sex. There would be many complaints from women of all ages that they were not getting enough sex.
Women are often unsure about orgasm during sex
If intercourse caused female orgasm, there wouldn’t be a mystery that needed researching in the first place. Any scientific account of female responsiveness has to be able to explain why female orgasm was such a secret for so long. The fact that women are capable of orgasm was highlighted by scientists. If female orgasm occurred