JANE: Men are much more sexually motivated than women ever are!

Roy: Tell us something we didn’t know!

Jane: Well it has always seemed very obvious to me too. But few professionals connected with the sex industry including therapists would be willing to officially acknowledge the fact.

Jane (cont): Sadly there are a few women who believe for political reasons, women’s sexuality must never be acknowledged to be anything less than men’s just in case we lose out somewhere not sure where.

Jane (cont): Personally, I prefer to talk about sex from a realistic perspective and then we stand a greater chance of getting somewhere.

Jules: Women are INDIVIDUALS as are their sex drives’ but until people STOP generalising and stereotyping, statements such as this implying that women have little interest in sex or prefer to avoid it will continue to be taken as reality!

Jane: How do you define sex drive? Is it a drive to be impregnated? If so, why do you think this is? Or is it a drive to achieve orgasm? If so, how do you think women achieve the necessary arousal? How come women never complain of sexual frustration? A sex drive does not rely on having reliable contraception!

Jane (cont): In over 10 years of asking women about sex and orgasm, I have found that most women refuse to comment. Perhaps you are willing to be explicit about sexual pleasuring? What erotic turn-ons and stimulation do you use for orgasm with a lover? What explicit techniques do you recommend?

Jules: ... (silence)

Celebrating our ability to enjoy eroticism

Diane: I am familiar with female orgasms and the physical and emotional factors that go into it.

JANE: Orgasm has nothing to do with love or with a relationship. Just look at men who go to prostitutes! Orgasm involves the mind responding to erotic stimuli concepts or objects. Then blood flows to the corpora cavernosa. At which point stimulation of the penis/clitoris makes sense.

Diane: I think your information may be a little one-sided. I personally can orgasm via stimulus alone and I am female. Orgasms and positive eroticism do not always go hand in hand. I can reach orgasm without having my brain actively involved in any eroticism. I can have a purely physical experience.

JANE: I think women often mistake emotional and sensual feelings for orgasm. Orgasm is fundamentally a response to erotic stimuli. But most women are not attracted to eroticism. This is natural. Responsiveness is a male characteristic. Female orgasm is much rarer than we think it is!

Diane: What is this statement based on? Women should be supported to trust their feelings and emotions, not told they are wrong. Female orgasm is not rare. Who cares what women’s reason is for talking about orgasm? An orgasm is something that should be talked about and not hidden away like a dirty secret.

JANE: Over many years of asking women about orgasm, most refuse to comment. I have not found one woman interested in discussing sexual pleasure and eroticism. They are just boasting about orgasm providing male turn-ons! Men never boast about orgasm it just happens! Men talk about the erotic turn-ons that cause their arousal.

An interesting and fun way to learn about sexuality for all

Marion: Broadly speaking, I know that women don’t generally orgasm as much as men and certainly not every time. I usually do. But it can sometimes take a very long time. More explicitly, for me to orgasm, I need a sensitive and responsive partner who has determination.

Marion (cont): I use plenty of focus. I need to find that wisp of delight and follow it. But it’s tenuous and easily lost. That, combined with a lover who gets the right spot and some fantasy, will usually do the trick.

Marion (cont): Most of my orgasms are clitoral rather than vaginal though when I’ve had vaginal ones, they’ve been especially powerful. I think it’s illogical to assume that women don’t have vaginal orgasms just because many women fake a lot.

Marion (cont): As for the women who pretend, the ones who are in movies, you can hardly blame them. They need to eat too. Those pretending with their own husbands or partners however, are being terribly unfair to both partners.

Marion (cont): Maybe, guys don’t know how to do better (or are afraid to ask) because the advice they’ve had so far is that poking it in and out will get their women screaming after 10 minutes.

Marion (cont): Many women I imagine (I certainly include myself in this category) grew up with the expectation that point of sex was the male orgasm. Once you got there, you were all done.

Marion (cont): If you were lucky, you might have gotten off during sex or might have got a little tickle beforehand. But a woman has just as much right to enjoy herself as a man does, so she shouldn’t feel bad about ensuring that it happens.

Marion (cont): And boy, is it worth making the effort! Particularly if she plans to spend the rest of her life with him. The responsible solution to poor sex is to teach a partner what does the trick. She doesn’t have to be unkind about it.

Marion (cont): Gentle guiding, making the big noises when he does hit the spot. Asking him if she is doing it the way he likes. Opening up a dialogue where it’s not embarrassing to say a little to the left sweetie’.

Dedicated to women’s enjoyment of sexual pleasure

JANE: Men are much more sexually motivated than women ever are!

Roy: Tell us something we didn’t know!

Jane: Well it has always seemed very obvious to me too. But few professionals connected with the sex industry including therapists would be willing to officially acknowledge the fact.

Jane (cont): Sadly there are a few women who believe for political reasons, women’s sexuality must never be acknowledged to be anything less than men’s just in case we lose out somewhere not sure where.

Jane (cont): Personally, I prefer to talk about sex from a realistic perspective and then we stand a greater chance of getting somewhere.

Jules: Women are INDIVIDUALS as are their sex drives’ but until people STOP generalising and stereotyping, statements such as this implying that women have little interest in sex or prefer to avoid it will continue to be taken as reality!

Jane: How do you define sex drive? Is it a drive to be impregnated? If so, why do you think this is? Or is it a drive to achieve orgasm? If so, how do you think women achieve the necessary arousal? How come women never complain of sexual frustration? A sex drive does not rely on having reliable contraception!

Jane (cont): In over 10 years of asking women about sex and orgasm, I have found that most women refuse to comment. Perhaps you are willing to be explicit about sexual pleasuring? What erotic turn-ons and stimulation do you use for orgasm with a lover? What explicit techniques do you recommend?

Jules: ... (silence)

Celebrating our ability to enjoy eroticism

Diane: I am familiar with female orgasms and the physical and emotional factors that go into it.

JANE: Orgasm has nothing to do with love or with a relationship. Just look at men who go to prostitutes! Orgasm involves the mind responding to erotic stimuli concepts or objects. Then blood flows to the corpora cavernosa. At which point stimulation of the penis/clitoris makes sense.

Diane: I think your information may be a little one-sided. I personally can orgasm via stimulus alone and I am female. Orgasms and positive eroticism do not always go hand in hand. I can reach orgasm without having my brain actively involved in any eroticism. I can have a purely physical experience.

JANE: I think women often mistake emotional and sensual feelings for orgasm. Orgasm is fundamentally a response to erotic stimuli. But most women are not attracted to eroticism. This is natural. Responsiveness is a male characteristic. Female orgasm is much rarer than we think it is!

Diane: What is this statement based on? Women should be supported to trust their feelings and emotions, not told they are wrong. Female orgasm is not rare. Who cares what women’s reason is for talking about orgasm? An orgasm is something that should be talked about and not hidden away like a dirty secret.

JANE: Over many years of asking women about orgasm, most refuse to comment. I have not found one woman interested in discussing sexual pleasure and eroticism. They are just boasting about orgasm providing male turn-ons! Men never boast about orgasm it just happens! Men talk about the erotic turn-ons that cause their arousal.

An interesting and fun way to learn about sexuality for all

Marion: Broadly speaking, I know that women don’t generally orgasm as much as men and certainly not every time. I usually do. But it can sometimes take a very long time. More explicitly, for me to orgasm, I need a sensitive and responsive partner who has determination.

Marion (cont): I use plenty of focus. I need to find that wisp of delight and follow it. But it’s tenuous and easily lost. That, combined with a lover who gets the right spot and some fantasy, will usually do the trick.

Marion (cont): Most of my orgasms are clitoral rather than vaginal though when I’ve had vaginal ones, they’ve been especially powerful. I think it’s illogical to assume that women don’t have vaginal orgasms just because many women fake a lot.

Marion (cont): As for the women who pretend, the ones who are in movies, you can hardly blame them. They need to eat too. Those pretending with their own husbands or partners however, are being terribly unfair to both partners.

Marion (cont): Maybe, guys don’t know how to do better (or are afraid to ask) because the advice they’ve had so far is that poking it in and out will get their women screaming after 10 minutes.

Marion (cont): Many women I imagine (I certainly include myself in this category) grew up with the expectation that point of sex was the male orgasm. Once you got there, you were all done.

Marion (cont): If you were lucky, you might have gotten off during sex or might have got a little tickle beforehand. But a woman has just as much right to enjoy herself as a man does, so she shouldn’t feel bad about ensuring that it happens.

Marion (cont): And boy, is it worth making the effort! Particularly if she plans to spend the rest of her life with him. The responsible solution to poor sex is to teach a partner what does the trick. She doesn’t have to be unkind about it.

Marion (cont): Gentle guiding, making the big noises when he does hit the spot. Asking him if she is doing it the way he likes. Opening up a dialogue where it’s not embarrassing to say a little to the left sweetie’.

Dedicated to women’s enjoyment of sexual pleasure