Differences between male and female responsiveness

The differences between male and female responsiveness include: Orgasm is a vital aspect of male reproduction function; Men obtain an optimal sexual release from penetrative sex; Only men are aroused in anticipation of sexual activity; Only men are aroused by observing a partner’s genitals; Women are sexually passive due to lack of erotic arousal; The

Sexual techniques and exploring sex play with a lover

Men do not make ideal lovers of women. Not only do they orgasm easily but men rarely appreciate what drives women emotionally or how women stimulate themselves to orgasm. [i] We assume that only older generations viewed sex as a forbidden and taboo subject. But where are all the liberated couples today willing to discuss

Emotional bonding: women are unresponsive by design

Kinsey’s work remains the most comprehensive data we have on sexuality. It represents a unique opportunity to study female sexuality at a time when women felt much less obliged to claim orgasms with a lover. Kinsey’s work was the first exposé of women’s covert sexuality (women’s masturbatory and lesbian activities). But the idea that women

Both sexes enjoy emotional rewards from sexual intimacy

Whenever a man and a woman share physical intimacy, the man’s arousal is very evident. A man’s erection gives visual evidence, not only that he is aroused, but that he wants to obtain penile stimulation. He demonstrates this by massaging his erection. He is very appreciative when a partner offers to stimulate his penis by

My personal story

The story of my childhood is foremost a personal project. It may provide insights into my character and formative experiences, which have made my work on sexuality possible. It may also help the reader understand what has motivated me to work so hard and for so little reward in such a taboo area of the

Women are aroused by fantasy, not real-world turn-ons

Men are aroused by thinking about sexual activity with someone they find attractive. Only two thirds (69%) of women ever have erotic fantasies. The rest (31%) admit that they have never once been aroused by thinking about eroticism. They are not even aroused by thinking about their own partners. But this makes sense because women’s

Orgasm is not a vital aspect of women’s sexuality

All men (to varying degrees) are capable of orgasm because orgasm is the trigger for ejaculation of sperm into the vagina. Men do not have organs equivalent to the uterus and the mammary glands. So men cannot perform women’s reproductive role of childbearing. But women are potentially capable of orgasm (not ejaculation). The reason is

Male and female sexuality both contribute to reproduction

When I started researching my sexuality, I knew how to masturbate to orgasm so I wanted to know how women achieved the orgasms with a lover that I had never found possible. I was fortunate because my partner was a practical person and eager to explore my body and responses. It’s just none of this

Women’s arousal depends on a more indirect mechanism

Men are turned on as a direct consequence of their drive to penetrate (a female) and thrust until ejaculation. A woman lacks this drive. Women are not naturally aroused by either sexual activity or genitalia [i] as men are. A woman aged 29 said she couldn’t understand why a 70-year-old man would still want to

Some women masturbate without aiming for orgasm

It is difficult to establish the nature of female masturbation. [i] Women do not always use fantasy as men do, which suggests they may not always be masturbating to orgasm. Some infant girls masturbate as an instinctive comforting activity. Sometimes they reach a resolution that is interpreted as orgasm. However a young child does not

Orgasm is not the goal of sexual activity with a lover

Orgasm has become a key word in talking about sex. Certainly, the most important aspect of women’s participation in sex is whether they have an orgasm. [i] Naturally, male orgasm is not an issue because it occurs reliably. My partner explained to me that orgasm was not his key focus during sex. Sexual release was

Female arousal is more deeply buried in the subconscious

Sexual phenomena (such as masturbation or gay sex) tend to be shocking and alien until we discover we enjoy them. Similarly once we experience arousal, we see the positive (rather than the offensive) aspects of eroticism. Anyone who objects to eroticism does not understand the nature of arousal. There is a belief that we all

The clitoris is the one and only female erectile sex organ

To state the obvious: men have no organ equivalent to the vagina. [i] By considering how human sexual response must have evolved, we can start to understand that it is much more likely that female responsiveness arises from the anatomy that women have evolved in common with men than that it arises from the anatomy

Orgasm comes at the end of activity intended to achieve it

I used my own experience of sexual activity with a lover to draw conclusions about women’s use of behaviours in responding to sexual scenarios in the way that men appreciate. Sociable sexual activity focuses on male orgasm because of men’s acute arousal. Due to their lack of arousal, women may provide turn-ons and stimulation to

Understanding what works: erotic versus emotional stimuli

If men were attracted to responsive women, presumably they would hope for a woman who could orgasm within say 5 seconds of being stimulated. In reality, a man needs a woman to offer intercourse for as long as he takes to ejaculate (no more no less). But a woman has no control whatsoever over how

The sexual anatomy involved in women achieving orgasm

Shere Hite’s sample, because she targeted female orgasm specifically, included even more women (82%) who masturbated (compared with Kinsey’s sample of women). Yet even though such women must be familiar with clitoral stimulation techniques when masturbating, around half of them [i] said the same techniques did not help them orgasm with a lover. Once again

Stimulation and a focus on eroticism continue until orgasm

Imagine you are a woman. Your partner asks you to masturbate him to orgasm. Each time you do this, you would notice that the length of time varies. The amount of stimulation required differs. This is because a man’s initial state of arousal varies and his engagement in the activity (thoughts in his head) vary

Relatively few women ever use a vibrator to masturbate

Sex toys are a useful addition to a couple’s sex play: to take the pressure off a man having an erection and to provide stimulation that does not necessarily lead to orgasm. But many gimmicks bought in embarrassment and ignorance are never used. Lying on her back exposes the vulva and can be a good

Women’s erotic fantasies have a psychological context

Male fantasies are usually easily applied to real life. Men fantasise about activities they would like to do. Women do not have the same advantage. Women’s fantasises include taboo themes such as sadism, domination and rape. They involve unrealistic scenarios with a complex psychological context that can be difficult to relate to day-to-day sexual opportunities.

Stimulation that leads to orgasm is applied instinctively

We all assume we already know everything there is to know about sex and sexuality. Even though we have never had a sex education (because no one has), we are confident that no other knowledge (beyond what we already know) exists. Certainly, there is a lack of factual information. But equally none of us ever

The G-spot explains the orgasms women think they have

Inexperienced women explore various parts of their body before discovering orgasm but most women (84%) masturbate by stimulating the clitoris. Yet some women today will still buy G-spot wands and phallic vibrators.[i] There are some sex experts who refer to clitoral stimulation as if it can be directly substituted for vaginal stimulation. They imply that

Arousal mechanisms are not unique to one lover

Mental turn-ons (both fantasies and fetishes) are abstract concepts and objects. They are not personalised or limited to one individual. So if a man finds the female breast to be an object of desire then, potentially, he can be aroused by the breasts of any woman (not just those of his lover). Likewise if a

Orgasm is achieved by massaging the corpora cavernosa

As part of my research, I came across references to the corpora cavernosa. These are cylindrical structures within the shaft of the penis that run down either side of the urethra (the central tube that urine and semen come down). It has also been established that the body (or shaft) of the internal clitoral organ

Only some women think they orgasm through intercourse

When we talk about consensual sex who exactly is consenting and what are they consenting to? Women may consent to intercourse [i] but consent is a long way off sexual pleasure and no proof that a woman has an orgasm. Heterosexual lovemaking, for the most part, relies on a man stimulating a woman. Genital stimulation

Orgasm depends on a positive response to eroticism

You cannot teach someone to orgasm. We discover orgasm because we have the capability. Responsiveness relies on a person’s ability to identify with erotic scenarios. First, an aspect of sexual activity excites our curiosity. Second, we enjoy the possibilities we explore mentally. Third, our positive mental response causes us to stimulate our genitals instinctively. It

The same organ, the erectile phallus, is involved in orgasm

The erectile organs (penis and clitoris) develop from the same anatomy in the foetus called the genital tubercle. The penis and clitoris have crura alongside the corpora cavernosa that cause tumescence. [i] It is inconceivable that the organ responsible for male orgasm would not be the same organ that is responsible for female orgasm. Some

Understanding what works: the clitoris versus the vagina

Regardless of gender, sexual activity that is aimed at achieving orgasm involves continuous rhythmic movements [i] of the whole body focused primarily on the pelvis. The hips are thrust forward or gyrated in a rolling motion and the buttocks clamped together. The toes or feet may be pointed. Some experts advise women to tense their

Orgasm involves identifying with the penetrating male

Some women suggest that female arousal depends on emotional stimuli. I do not think I ever accepted this idea. But it is difficult to discount the experience of others. I slowly concluded that they are mistaken. This fact led me to a further conclusion that arousal is not a common place experience for women. Consequently

Bisexuality indicates an ambivalence over a lover’s gender

Although men have varying levels of sex drive (which affect the frequency with which they want sex), once a man engages in specific genital stimulation he almost always does orgasm. [i] For men, physical stimulation leads to orgasm because they are easily aroused, especially with a lover. A man’s sexual emotions involve his sexual drive

Women’s sexual responses do not need to be sociable

Surveys are inherently flawed where there is a bias in the acceptability of the responses. Frankly it is amazing that any woman ever admits to being non-orgasmic. The turn-on explains the bias. But given female masturbation is so rare why do so many (relatively) of these women volunteer? The answer is in the research findings

Orgasm is a one-off release followed by a recovery period

With all the completely insane and goofy explanations, I get from women on the internet, it is tempting to believe that, somewhere, there must be women who are intelligent and sexually knowledgeable who could make a much better job of explaining their sexuality. I don’t believe this is the case. Most women keep quiet because

Female sexuality involves attracting male sexual attention

Any discussion of female sexuality is usually aimed at providing turn-ons for men rather than being a realistic description of how women truly orgasm. Those who are paid to promote sex succeed in confusing us all (even women) over what is truly possible. Women who talk about orgasm are either promoting their therapy business, their

Responsive women use fantasy to achieve arousal alone

Sexual activity is typically described in terms of physical stimulation. The idea that the brain needs to have an empathic response to eroticism is rarely mentioned. This is because we can see physical activity but we cannot know what is happening inside another person’s head. No one (not even a man) can orgasm if their

The mind responds to erotic stimuli: concepts or objects

No boy reaches puberty and consciously decides to be aroused by girls. It just happens. If it doesn’t, he may have a very low sex drive. If a boy is aroused by boys, he is probably homosexual. If a boy is aroused by both sexes, he may be bisexual. No one consciously chooses what concepts

Men’s sexual knowledge is acquired from pornography

Today we have no official account of human sexuality. So men’s sexual knowledge of how women enjoy sexual pleasure (how women are assumed to achieve orgasm) comes from pornography or other fictional sources intended to cause arousal. For example, so-called squirting is completely fictional. Women cannot ejaculate. Similarly, the female breast is no more capable

Reproduction: the role of heterosexual intercourse

Despite the contrary research findings, society still promotes the idea that women orgasm from intercourse. Shere Hite’s research gave inconclusive results [i] when she asked women how they achieve orgasm. Around half of her sample of women said they never or rarely orgasm from intercourse. An even split hardly lends authority to women’s views either

Women do not masturbate as a substitute for intercourse

Male responsiveness declines very gradually from adolescence onwards. Few men masturbate regularly by the age of 50. At any age most men only masturbate in the absence of an offer of penetrative sex. It is a subtle point but masturbation clearly fulfils quite different functions for men and women. Male masturbation is primarily a kind

Mental arousal must always precede physical stimulation

The only reason women are assumed to orgasm without ever being mentally aroused is because most women are unaware of what is involved in sexual response. They observe men and conclude that only physical stimulation is required to achieve orgasm. Women overlook the significance of a man having an erection. They are oblivious to (or

An evidence-based approach to researching sexuality

I am documenting my research approach, which is different to that taken by other researchers. I have not had a budget, colleagues or the support of an academic institution to engage in the kind of research that has been done in the past. My sex research is based on a much more basic assumption. I

The symbiotic relationship between men and women

When living in an environment devoid of sexual stimuli (such as one without women) most men cease all forms of sexual activity. For example, the arousal cycle of men, who are locked up in prison with no access to any kind of visual media (magazines, television and internet), grinds to a halt. This illustrates an

Sex information must explain real women’s behaviours

The young tend to be the most sexually active. So mature couples with decades of experience often assume that young people know more about sex than they do. In turn each generation rejects the wisdom of its elders. The sex researchers’ findings have been so contentious that their work is simply ignored. So today we

Women only need to be amenable to offering intercourse

Samples based on volunteers will always attract people whose sexual (or political) motivation is well above the average for the general population. Women, who divulge their sexual histories, are either confident that orgasm is not possible with a lover or they are pleased to display their sexual prowess by claiming experiences that are considered normal

Women deserve an unbiased account of their sexuality

We have appallingly bad sex information today because those who are reassured by mysticism far outnumber those swayed by any facts or logic[i]. Surveys assume that every woman is an authority on orgasm regardless of the credibility of her explanations. Rather than apply common sense and logic to women’s orgasm claims, researchers accept them unquestioningly.

Female sexuality is defined by men and their fantasies

Men’s acute arousal ensures that they approach sex with a clear agenda. Women are not aroused, which is why they talk about emotional sensations. [i] Whether in real life or in pornography a woman provides an orifice (mouth, vagina or anus) for a man to ejaculate into. Women rarely demonstrate sexual initiative. For example, they

Proposing and planning sex sessions, providing sex talk

When a man has a new lover the novelty makes sex more exciting for a while but gradually he falls back to having intercourse with similar frequencies as before. Couples have intercourse more frequently when young but frequencies decrease over time. [i] Research indicates that this decrease in activity is due to aging rather than

Female sexuality – a more realistic perspective

Slides summarising ‘Women’s Sexual Behaviours & Responses’. Humans have sex in order to reproduce, to enjoy sensual or erotic pleasure and to form the emotional bonds that support family life over decades. Reproduction is the prime purpose of sex. So sex is presented in terms of intercourse, in which female orgasm plays no role, but

Our biological motivation to enjoy arousal and orgasm

There is a precedent for female masturbation in the animal world. Some female mammals do masturbate but since they do not ejaculate it is difficult to establish that female mammals stimulate themselves to orgasm. Misconception #4: Because of the male experience, it is incorrectly assumed that women have a sex drive to achieve orgasm. Women

Women respond to real-world erotic triggers as men do

Men are aroused by nudity and sexual opportunities, so it is assumed that women are too. The fact that pornography is censored in every society is ignored. No one seems to notice that women do not ogle anyone’s genitals. Women consider genitals to be ugly and smelly parts of the body. My own experience is

Our biological motivation to engage in loving relationships

Research shows that, when they are alone or with another woman, women take longer to orgasm than men do. Women are only assumed to match male speeds to orgasm (two minutes on average) during intercourse. Misconception #7: Because of the male experience, it is incorrectly assumed that women should orgasm more easily with a lover

Women may use behaviours to provide turn-ons for a lover

My first boyfriend was more than 6 years older than me. I was a virgin and he had plenty of sexual experience from one-night stands and also from longer-term relationships with women. It was natural that the first time we had intercourse, he was proactive in leading the activity. I just waited for something to

Similarities between male and female responsiveness

The similarities between male and female responsiveness include: Mental arousal must always precede physical stimulation; The mind responds to erotic stimuli: concepts or objects; Orgasm is a one-off release followed by a recovery period; Orgasm involves identifying with the penetrating male; The same organ, the erectile phallus, is involved in orgasm; Orgasm is achieved by

Understanding women’s sexual and emotional needs

Sadly, researchers are often just as impressed with far-fetched accounts of female orgasm as the general public. Academics debate pure conjecture such as female ejaculation (copious quantities of vaginal juices produced by aroused females) based on age-old male fantasies and up-suck of sperm (pelvic contractions supposedly arising from so-called vaginal orgasms) as if they are

The male arousal cycle from erection to ejaculation

Sensations of fear, apprehension, shock or surprise all give rise to nervous system responses that have characteristics in common with arousal. Some young boys initially orgasm in response to many of these kinds of stimuli. But over time adolescent boys come to associate their arousal with psychological stimuli (erotic turn-ons) that are explicitly sexual. They

Techniques for getting the most out of anal intercourse

Few homosexual men orgasm solely from penetration. The penis is always involved. The anus and the entrance (vestibule) to the vagina have some sensitivity. But the internal organs (vagina and rectum) are much less sensitive. [i] So the kind of stimulation that might lead to female physical arousal includes anal intercourse or using the fingers

Sexologists need to challenge what they are told

On an on-going basis, I ask sexologists, medical professionals, sex workers, gay men, lesbians, heterosexuals and anyone else, who might be assumed to be interested in the topic, to comment on my articles and quotes. Very few people comment, especially women. Some women get angry and defensive but they have nothing constructive to say. Some

Sexology should present research not popular beliefs

Why is sexual pleasure taboo? Probably because of the associated exploitation (of women by men) and deceit (perpetrated by women on men). [i] Few people appear to be capable of appreciating objective sex information. The taboo involved in talking about sex means that most people prefer to say nothing. Political correctness prevents sexologists from questioning

Sexual pleasure: how responsive women reach orgasm

It is often assumed that every woman masturbates just as every man (96%) does. Yet there are no research findings to support this view. Alfred Kinsey found that a few [i] women (20%) masturbate regularly but not necessarily to orgasm. Most of these women only try masturbation for a few years. Kinsey’s research indicated that

Women depend on a lover to stimulate them to orgasm

Everyone applauds the idea that a man should care about his partner’s orgasm. [i] But orgasm is an instinctive response to eroticism that occurs in our own brain not our partner’s. When a couple’s sex life falls apart, therapists focus on issues in the wider relationship rather than discuss sexual techniques. This is because sex

Men may get more sex if they are willing to be realistic

Only some men like to offer their partners any form of foreplay. Other men (probably the majority) prefer to head straight for the joys of intercourse.[i] Because men are much more promiscuous than women on average, it is often assumed that all men are promiscuous. Many men think about having sex with various women throughout

Welcome to Love, Sex & Intimacy!

Jane talks about ‘Exploring Sex Play’ with accompanying slides to download! I read a great deal as I was growing up and books often portray ideals rather than reality. Even as a teenager, I had questions about sex. When I had intercourse for the first time, at the age of eighteen, I already knew what

Women substitute sexual behaviours for responsiveness

Many people are outraged by the suggestion that anyone might misrepresent women’s sexuality or exaggerate female responsiveness. Yet in other areas of the human experience, adults tell lies or bend the truth all the time. Human beings are often more concerned with impressing or influencing others than with any principle as prosaic as the truth.

The function of foreplay is to assist with female arousal

Men are proactive lovers because of their arousal. Men enjoy exploring women’s bodies because it is arousing for them. Foreplay existed well before any knowledge of the clitoris. A woman allows a man to stimulate her to the boundaries of her sense of propriety. I was just as passive with a lover as any other

Many men prefer intercourse and never offer any foreplay

The men with the highest overall orgasm frequencies throughout their lives are the less educated (those who are not educated beyond high school).[i] Some men focus on enjoying their own responsiveness rather than a lover’s arousal. Their self-absorption makes them relatively oblivious to a lover’s perspective, who is relieved of any need to exaggerate her

Intercourse stimulates only the penetrator’s sex organ

Men, both gay and straight, can enjoy the intensely pleasurable sensations of anal penetration, when combined with appropriate lubrication and a sensitive lover. But usually male orgasm still relies on penile stimulation. [i] To be capable of penetration the penis must be erect, so a man must be aroused. But the receiver of intercourse never

Women are proactive lovers due to their own arousal

We often hear sex educators blaming men for ignoring women’s presumed sexual needs. But why are women so incapable of obtaining their own sexual satisfaction? Why are men responsible for defining women’s pleasure? In porn we see women pleasuring a lover and, in turn, being pleasured. The pleasuring appears to be mutual. But while male

Some men hope that sexual pleasuring can be mutual

Society often implies that sex (like smoking and drinking) is a sign of maturity and worldliness. Films portray prostitutes as beautiful and classy young women offering a variety of sexual pleasuring techniques. Sadly, the run-of-the-mill prostitute does not provide ‘dinner with a show’. [i] She feels no obligation to fake her presumed pleasure in return

Confusion over anatomy only arises with a male lover

Men’s orgasm techniques are consistent regardless of sexual orientation. Once his mind is triggered by a turn-on, a man stimulates his penis whether he engages in masturbation, oral sex or intercourse. Only the anatomy of their lover dictates whether men engage in vaginal or anal intercourse. Women’s orgasm techniques are much less consistent. Notably, behaviours

Women are constantly aroused and orgasmic with a lover

People are amazed when I question the orgasms actresses are portrayed as having in pornography. They cannot believe that anyone would doubt the fiction. Yet porn is clearly a male masturbation tool. Pornography involves portraying male fantasies that help men reach orgasm when they masturbate alone. Nevertheless, sexologists seem to think that porn is a

The conscious and subconscious components of sexuality

Human sexuality has biological, emotional and intellectual components. The biological aspects are innate (we are born that way) and beyond our conscious control. Males of all species have a direct instinct to mate that females do not have. Women need to be persuaded to accept intercourse. For both sexes there is a huge range in

The sexual anatomy involved in heterosexual intercourse

Men always approach sexual activity and orgasm with a focus on the penis: whether through intercourse, fellatio or masturbation. There is no debate over the male anatomy involved in orgasm because men are easily aroused. Misconception #3: Because of the male experience, it is incorrectly assumed that orgasm is a vital aspect of female sexuality.

Women orgasm from clitoral stimulation (cunnilingus)

Sexologists assume (as we all do) that women should orgasm in all the same scenarios that men do. These are (1) masturbation alone (the female anatomy and stimulation technique are never specified) (2) vaginal intercourse (3) manual stimulation of the clitoral glans with a lover (by herself or her lover) and (4) cunnilingus (oral stimulation

Heterosexual relationships involve mismatched sex drives

Men are naturally responsive. So no man should feel inadequate about ejaculating quickly. [i] Men accept the misconception that women might be able to orgasm through intercourse if stimulated long enough because they want to prolong their own enjoyment of intercourse. Any sense of inadequacy over male speeds to orgasm could be easily overcome if

Most women prefer implicit explanations for their orgasms

A few women claim fantastic orgasmic feats, such as multiple orgasms. But orgasm ends sexual activity so these are, at best, just peaks of arousal. Many of these cases have more in common with a nervous disorder or some kind of nervous fit than a sexual release. If someone experiences orgasm like the ticking of

Women orgasm from vaginal stimulation (intercourse)

Kinsey explained that the vagina evolved from primitive egg ducts, which lack any sensitivity (in common with other internal organs of the body). The vagina is the result of glands that develop in the female foetus but not in the male. Just as the male glands (including the prostate) develop in the male foetus but

Masturbation and fantasy require a creative imagination

Masturbation is least common among less educated males (89%). More men who are high school educated (95%) and who are college educated (96%) are involved in masturbation for at least some period of their lives. There are two suggestions for why college boys masturbate more than less-educated boys. The first is that college girls are

Women’s sexuality includes providing male erotic turn-ons

The intense focus on women’s bodies means that girls as young as five aspire to the sexual attributes and wardrobe of a Barbie doll. Teenage girls starve themselves and few women are willing to appear in public without wearing make-up, provocative lingerie and without waxing their legs. It is reassuring to be admired by a

Women can masturbate themselves to orgasm with a lover

Pornography shows women masturbating (or being masturbated by a lover). This self-stimulation by fingering around their glans never ends in orgasm. Women are shown continuing to engage in sexual activity after masturbating so orgasm is clearly not their goal. Despite the publication of Hite’s findings that women are more successful with orgasm alone, heterosexuals continue

Boys who are adolescent first have the highest sex drive

For practical purposes male adolescence is assumed to coincide with a boy’s first ejaculation. Boys who become adolescent first (before 12 years of age) often have the highest orgasm frequencies throughout their lives.[i] Statistics can be misleading. For example, men are taller than women on average but some women are taller than many men. Similarly

Men pressure women to provide a response to intercourse

Only women are ever described as frigid (meaning cold or unloving). An unenthusiastic lover is a turn-off and causes a man to feel unappreciated. [i] Even today so-called female sexual dysfunction continues to be defined in terms of a woman’s ability, or her willingness, to cooperate with intercourse rather than in terms of her ability

Women masturbate as commonly and as frequently as men

Most men masturbate at least when they are adolescent so they assume that women must have a similar experience. Men never seem to notice that women do not welcome images of male genitals nor are they willing to watch portrayals of sexual activity. Women never refer to the erotic turn-ons that might cause their arousal

Contact Jane Thomas

Please connect with me on Twitter, ResearchGate, LinkedIn, Facebook, Mastodon and Instagram! Take a look at my books and watch my videos . You can also contact me directly by email! I grew up with an interest in science. I wasn’t especially good at it but the concepts fascinated me. One of the issues that

Age is the foremost factor affecting male responsiveness

Factors that affect men’s orgasm frequencies include their age, the age at which they reached adolescence as well as their level of education. Age is far and away the most significant factor in male sexual performance. [i] Men are most sexually active in late adolescence. Thereafter their responsiveness declines very gradually. A significant upside to

Women are not spontaneously aroused as men tend to be

Men are easily aroused because their minds frequently focus on sexual opportunities. Nudity (especially a genital display) triggers the male brain to anticipate a potential opportunity for intercourse. Women are not mentally aroused with a lover so they do not respond to physical stimulation.[i] Misconception #2: Because of the male experience, it is incorrectly assumed

Women are driven to engage in intercourse just as men are

Men have a drive to obtain intercourse that we see throughout Nature. We observe the male of the species being motivated to mate with a female. In an attempt to establish political equality, feminists assert that women have a sex drive to engage in activity that potentially impregnates them. Libido encapsulates the idea that women

We all carry the potential to be homosexual in our genes

Women typically get on well with homosexual men. Gay men often have the social skills that women appreciate but straight men tend to lack. Homophobia is largely down a certain kind of heterosexual man, who disrespects men (and women) for being on the receiving end of penetrative sex. Modern films often make references to the

Women assume that they should orgasm with a lover

Prostitutes are more sexually experienced than most women. Yet even they admit that they do not orgasm with clients[i]. A woman who claims to orgasm with a lover is either interpreting orgasm in emotional terms or she is using orgasm as a reward for her lover’s commitment to the relationship. Faking represents an implicit cooperation

Women experience arousal and orgasm as easily as men do

Kinsey noted that women who could masturbate to orgasm said they also had orgasms with a lover. This is contrary to my experience. I wonder whether women who think that they orgasm with a lover (which is quite impossible) also think that they orgasm when masturbating because they assume that almost any stimulation causes orgasm

Women take on all the key disadvantages of intercourse

Research indicates that men are sexually active throughout their lives regardless of whether they are in a relationship. Women in relationships, in addition to never or rarely masturbating, only engage in sexual activity that is initiated by their partner. For the population as a whole, single women do not have intercourse as often or with

Women have the exact same sexual needs that men have

Sex research appears to indicate that many women orgasm both alone and with a lover. But all of this research is flawed because there is no agreement on what physical and mental stimuli cause women to experience orgasm. Erotic fiction shows women apparently having orgasms from whatever stimulation their lovers choose to provide. So while

Male adolescence: differentiating orgasm from ejaculation

For sexually precocious boys, half have an orgasm by the age of 7 and two-thirds by the age of 12. But until they start ejaculating, such orgasms are one-offs or sporadic. Most boys (90%) ejaculate for the first time between the ages of 11 and 15. The average white male has his first orgasm that

Our biological motivation to engage in vaginal intercourse

In the animal world (especially mammals) the male initiates mating. The male drive is evidenced by the behaviour of fighting over mating rights. There is not the same precedent for women’s sex drive because there is no evidence to indicate that female mammals achieve orgasm as a result of mating (or at any other time).

Identifying the erroneous assumptions about sexuality

We tend to assume (on the basis of erotic fiction) that women in real life: Have the exact same sexual needs that men have; Respond to real-world erotic triggers as men do; Experience arousal and orgasm as easily as men do; Are driven to engage in intercourse just as men are; Masturbate as commonly and

Understanding men’s sexual and emotional needs

Male masturbation frequencies [i] vary significantly, indicating not only a range in responsiveness, but also the different conscious choices men make over how they enjoy their arousal cycle from erection to ejaculation. Sex is emotional for men because it connects them with lovers, family and society. Male mammals are often solitary creatures. They interact with

The clitoris is stimulated up until climax but no longer

Men’s focus on the vagina [i] is natural given their sex drive (to impregnate a female). To experience orgasm, a woman needs a lover who understands the anatomy involved in female orgasm. This includes the clitoris, the labia and the entrance to the vagina. Lesbians share the same anatomy as their lovers so they may

Some men want a lover to provide a response to intercourse

The basic male sexual function is instinctive. It is satisfied relatively easily by intercourse. Kinsey concluded that the vast majority of men (including the less educated) use intercourse as a quick (biological and functional) means of sexual release. They do not look for a response (erotic or emotional) from a lover. They do not need

Sexual pleasuring techniques a man may enjoy

A woman who lies fairly inert during sexual pleasuring, communicates a lack of cooperation and causes a man to feel sexually unappreciated. Both social and sexual interaction rely on the active interest of the participants. In women’s eyes men can seem impossible to please. But men wonder why women do not provide them with the

Women mature sexually much later than men tend to

Women mature sexually much later than men do so a young woman [i] is very unlikely to discover orgasm with a lover. Over time a woman’s body may respond to being stimulated by a lover and her mind may respond to the more subconscious erotic turn-ons associated with sexual activity. Women are not spontaneously aroused

Women offer sex as an emotional bonding mechanism

A woman may believe that she has orgasms with her lover. But if she is unwilling to have the same experience with an attractive stranger, it is the relationship rather than the act itself that is giving her pleasure. Her pleasure derives from the emotional significance of the act within the relationship she has with

Sexual pleasuring techniques a woman may enjoy

There are no female equivalents to the turn-ons that motivate men sexually. [i] Women often prefer intercourse in the dark and they do not enjoy observing their own genitals. The visual impact of her own and a lover’s genitalia can even detract from a woman’s enjoyment of sexual pleasuring. This is because a woman prefers

Women do not experience easy erotic arousal with a lover

Lesbians have the advantage (as women) of having a similar responsiveness as their lovers. Also being women, they are not so intent on genital stimulation, penetration and orgasm. A woman does not need a partner to respond to stimulation as some men do. Lesbians can be more relaxed about exploring sexual pleasuring without any pressure