Women have to learn how to orgasm
In the film ‘Shirley Valentine’ (1989), Pauline Collins plays Shirley, a middle-aged housewife. Shirley comments: “I’m not particularly fond of it – sex. I think sex is like supermarkets, you know, overrated. Just a lot of pushing and shoving and you still come out with very little in the end.” (Note: this film was set
Characteristics of low sexual responsiveness
Research indicates that single women are not nearly as promiscuous as single men. Most men engage in sexual activity, even if it is only masturbation, on a regular basis from adolescence to old age. Many women can live quite happily without being sexually stimulated for weeks, months and even years. Unlike a boy who finds
Most women prefer implicit explanations for their orgasms
A few women claim fantastic orgasmic feats, such as multiple orgasms. But orgasm ends sexual activity so these are, at best, just peaks of arousal. Many of these cases have more in common with a nervous disorder or some kind of nervous fit than a sexual release. If someone experiences orgasm like the ticking of
Women have to learn how their sexual arousal works
Some women appear to be so sheltered from the world of adult eroticism that one wonders if they have ever experienced sexual urges of any kind. Nancy, a recently widowed woman in her seventies became acquainted with John, a man of the same age, during a stay in hospital. On the grounds of friendship, they
Factors that are believed to affect male responsiveness
Factors that affect men’s orgasm frequencies include their age, the age at which they reached adolescence , as well as their level of education and whether they feel constrained by the judgement of religious teachings. Frequencies of sexual activity vary but almost all men (92%) orgasm quickly and easily through masturbation as well as through
Women orgasm from vaginal stimulation (intercourse)
Kinsey explained that the vagina evolved from primitive egg ducts, which lack any sensitivity (in common with other internal organs of the body). The vagina is the result of glands that develop in the female foetus but not in the male. Just as the male glands (including the prostate) develop in the male foetus but
Women’s sexual arousal and orgasm are not automatic
Almost complete mystery surrounds women’s sexual arousal. Women’s PHYSICAL arousal is rarely acknowledged and our understanding of women’s PSYCHOLOGICAL arousal is very vague. No wonder many of us gain the impression that female orgasms simply mushroom up out of nowhere. Explanations for women’s sexual arousal often defy belief. It is suggested that women, unlike men
Characteristics of high sexual responsiveness
As a boy grows into a man, he sees men bragging about their assumed success in providing a woman with amazing sexual pleasure. He sees men comparing notes on the sexual attributes they appreciate in a lover. He sees issues arising because of voyeurs, peeping Toms, men who assault and rape women. He can identify
Masturbation and fantasy require a creative imagination
Masturbation is least common among less educated males (89%). More men who are high school educated (95%) and who are college educated (96%) are involved in masturbation for at least some period of their lives. There are two suggestions for why college boys masturbate more than less-educated boys. The first is that college girls are
Women’s sex drive to orgasm during sex
Becky explained via e-mail: “I had my first orgasm at 26 during masturbation – pretty late I know & since then no stopping me with the sex toys : ) . Plenty of my girlfriends have not though – and like you say, don’t seem too bothered about it which I can’t understand.” Despite this
Sexual responsiveness is a male characteristic
Male orgasm is not directly linked to reproduction, but ejaculation is required. The function of male orgasm is to trigger the ejaculation of sperm. Some small boys may orgasm (as a one-off) without ejaculating but after adolescence, orgasm always triggers ejaculation. Apart from orgasm, there is no other physiological event that could account for ejaculation
Women’s sexuality includes providing male erotic turn-ons
The intense focus on women’s bodies means that girls as young as five aspire to the sexual attributes and wardrobe of a Barbie doll. Teenage girls starve themselves and few women are willing to appear in public without wearing make-up, provocative lingerie and without waxing their legs. It is reassuring to be admired by a
Female masturbation is relatively uncommon
Carolyn, a relationship counsellor in her fifties, told me she thought it unwise to positively encourage female masturbation. She did not give her reasons. “Many women think of masturbation as unnatural and disgusting and a complete waste of time, and don’t understand why anybody does it and are unsympathetic to the view that people might
Responsiveness varies between individuals
We have no conscious control over our responsiveness . Our ability to enjoy eroticism is an instinctive and subconscious response. Our responsiveness is a factor of our sex and the way our mind works. All men are responsive to some degree. Research indicates that there is a huge range in responsiveness (orgasm frequency) for both
Women can masturbate themselves to orgasm with a lover
Pornography shows women masturbating (or being masturbated by a lover). This self-stimulation by fingering around their glans never ends in orgasm. Women are shown continuing to engage in sexual activity after masturbating so orgasm is clearly not their goal. Despite the publication of Hite’s findings that women are more successful with orgasm alone, heterosexuals continue
Sexual arousal
Sexual arousal is a mental state that arises when the mind responds to PSYCHOLOGICAL stimuli (of an erotic or sexual nature). Sexual arousal is evidenced by PHYSICAL phenomena such as increased blood flow to the erectile organ (penis/clitoris). Both sexes can express their sexuality through sexual arousal and orgasm but since men’s arousal happens spontaneously
Sexual responsiveness and orientation
Sexuality is about responsiveness and orientation , both of which are determined before we are born. Among the genes we inherit from our parents are those that determine responsiveness and orientation. Any child can potentially be born homosexual. Likewise, we are all born with varying degrees of responsiveness. Responsiveness is a measure of the frequency
Boys who are adolescent first have the highest sex drive
For practical purposes male adolescence is assumed to coincide with a boy’s first ejaculation. Boys who become adolescent first (before 12 years of age) often have the highest orgasm frequencies throughout their lives.[i] Statistics can be misleading. For example, men are taller than women on average but some women are taller than many men. Similarly
Sexual desire
Kinsey shocked the world in the 1950s with his revelation that SOME women experience orgasm. The popular message became: all women ‘naturally’ orgasm during sex. But this was never true. “In the later teens, when… the average male was at the peak of his sexual capacity and activity -, there was still nearly a half
Shere Hite’s research findings (1976)
Shere Hite’s work was a thesis produced for her doctorate in sexuality. Her research had much lower funding than Kinsey’s and so was more limited in scope. Hite circulated a lengthy questionnaire in the US through women’s magazines and to passers-by on the street in the early 1970s. Shere Hite’s sample was not selected in
Men pressure women to provide a response to intercourse
Only women are ever described as frigid (meaning cold or unloving). An unenthusiastic lover is a turn-off and causes a man to feel unappreciated. [i] Even today so-called female sexual dysfunction continues to be defined in terms of a woman’s ability, or her willingness, to cooperate with intercourse rather than in terms of her ability
Why sex is called ‘making love’
The heterosexual act of vaginal intercourse is designed foremost as an expression of love between a man and a woman. After all, if sex was purely about two people reaching orgasm, then we would more naturally engage in activities that involve more direct genital stimulation. Intercourse is a natural progression from kissing to a man
Bill Masters and Virginia Johnson’s research (1966)
William Masters and Virginia Johnson observed volunteer couples having intercourse in the laboratory. Female orgasm was simply assumed to occur as a result of intercourse. This laboratory-based approach was much more popular than Alfred Kinsey’s complex statistical approach and has remained the predominant model. The public is easily impressed by people who wear laboratory coats
Women masturbate as commonly and as frequently as men
Most men masturbate at least when they are adolescent so they assume that women must have a similar experience. Men never seem to notice that women do not welcome images of male genitals nor are they willing to watch portrayals of sexual activity. Women never refer to the erotic turn-ons that might cause their arousal
Intercourse does not facilitate female orgasm
Men’s sexual arousal is usually easy, which gives them a natural advantage. As a consequence, while men can usually hope for orgasm from their sexual encounters, most women have to settle for the more diffused sensations of sexual arousal. “Sex is a very different experience for women and men. A man experiences pleasure primarily as
Over time women often become focused on family
Female mammals are involved in grooming, feeding and affectionate play with their young. Female mammals are always smaller and more nervous than males. This anxiety keeps women at home and close to their children. Women gravitate towards men who can provide protection and lifestyle through earnings or status. Many women consider the tasks of raising
Contact Jane Thomas
Please connect with me on Twitter, ResearchGate, LinkedIn, Facebook, Mastodon and Instagram! Take a look at my books and watch my videos . You can also contact me directly by email! I grew up with an interest in science. I wasn’t especially good at it but the concepts fascinated me. One of the issues that
Women settle for emotional intimacy over sexual arousal
On relating our experience to others, we all tend to gloss over details or not own up to difficulties that were perhaps transient. I told Linda, a mother of three in her late forties, that I had never had an orgasm during intercourse. Linda looked at me incredulously and laughed as if I must be
Young women tend to focus on their attractiveness
A girl first becomes aware of herself as a sexual being when men start commenting on her breasts . The breasts develop from around 12.4 years. Beast development signals a woman’s reproductive maturity. A girl should wear a supportive bra to avoid getting stretch marks. It is perfectly normal for a woman’s breasts to be
Age is the foremost factor affecting male responsiveness
Factors that affect men’s orgasm frequencies include their age, the age at which they reached adolescence as well as their level of education. Age is far and away the most significant factor in male sexual performance. [i] Men are most sexually active in late adolescence. Thereafter their responsiveness declines very gradually. A significant upside to
How to get laid
Men should take comfort from the facts of female sexuality. Most women are unlikely to orgasm from intercourse alone (which provides insufficient clitoral stimulation for orgasm) and yet amazingly few women ask about lack of orgasm. In addition to the obvious personal embarrassment, likely explanations include: Not every woman is interested in orgasm, whether from
At puberty girls develop a child-bearing capacity
From a young age, most girls demonstrate a more passive and timid personality than most boys. Girls often focus on social activities rather than physically active play. This gender difference is apparent before puberty . Women need to deal with men who can be ruthlessly aggressive. Women have evolved a survival strategy of being more
Women are not spontaneously aroused as men tend to be
Men are easily aroused because their minds frequently focus on sexual opportunities. Nudity (especially a genital display) triggers the male brain to anticipate a potential opportunity for intercourse. Women are not mentally aroused with a lover so they do not respond to physical stimulation.[i] Misconception #2: Because of the male experience, it is incorrectly assumed
Sheltering young women from eroticism
Reading the word ‘sexy’, a boy of nine screwed up his face in a gesture of disgust and said “Yuck!”. I asked him why and he replied, “Because my parents told me it’s disgusting”. Presumably these parents are trying to warn their son away from the temptations of sexual pleasure with its associated immoral behaviour.
Men tend to focus on opportunities for intercourse
Sex may not be the only reason men seek relationships with women, but it is the key reason. Men’s sex drive focuses them on obtaining opportunities for intercourse. Given married men’s complaints about low intercourse frequencies over the longer-term, sex is clearly much less important to women. The romantic and emotional factors that naturally motivate
Women are driven to engage in intercourse just as men are
Men have a drive to obtain intercourse that we see throughout Nature. We observe the male of the species being motivated to mate with a female. In an attempt to establish political equality, feminists assert that women have a sex drive to engage in activity that potentially impregnates them. Libido encapsulates the idea that women
Why do so many women dislike eroticism?
Pornography is defined to be ‘sexually explicit material (verbal or pictorial) that is primarily designed to produce sexual arousal‘. Two women give their views on pornography. Helen Longino, the American philosopher: “I define pornography as verbal or pictorial explicit representations of sexual behavior that … have as a distinguishing characteristic ‘the degrading and demeaning portrayal
Young men tend to focus on enjoying their arousal
Men are valued for their physical strength, their practical skills and their personal confidence (leaderships skills). Young men increase their muscle mass at puberty by 50% more than young women do. The male territorial drive (to establish and defend territory or status) consumes more of a man’s time and energy than his sex drive ever
We all carry the potential to be homosexual in our genes
Women typically get on well with homosexual men. Gay men often have the social skills that women appreciate but straight men tend to lack. Homophobia is largely down a certain kind of heterosexual man, who disrespects men (and women) for being on the receiving end of penetrative sex. Modern films often make references to the
Why do women not always appreciate displays of male sexuality?
I have never seen any reason to be embarrassed about my body. I am pretty. I have sensual skin that browns easily and a sexy figure. My parents were always relaxed about nudity. So when I was eighteen, out in the South of France for the summer, I enjoyed going top-less sunbathing. Why have those
At puberty boys develop a reliable arousal cycle
From a young age, many boys already demonstrate a more active and outgoing personality than most girls. Boys enjoy physical activities such as sport where conversation is minimal. This gender difference is apparent before the onset of adolescence and is not attributable solely to hormones. The changes at puberty are not limited to physical changes.
Women assume that they should orgasm with a lover
Prostitutes are more sexually experienced than most women. Yet even they admit that they do not orgasm with clients[i]. A woman who claims to orgasm with a lover is either interpreting orgasm in emotional terms or she is using orgasm as a reward for her lover’s commitment to the relationship. Faking represents an implicit cooperation
A man’s sexual arousal can be very flattering
In the early days of a romance, a man feels loved and needed through sex. A man’s sexual admiration for a woman makes her feel cared for and appreciated. “Men are motivated and empowered when they feel needed… Women are motivated and empowered when they feel cherished…” (p43 Men are from Mars, Women are from
The internal anatomy involved in reproduction
Our sex is determined by chromosomes. A man has an XY chromosome and a woman has an XX chromosome. There are other combinations (involving three chromosomes) but the Y chromosome is associated with being male. A boy inherits a Y chromosome from his father. The father’s genes (not the mother’s) determine the sex of a
Women experience arousal and orgasm as easily as men do
Kinsey noted that women who could masturbate to orgasm said they also had orgasms with a lover. This is contrary to my experience. I wonder whether women who think that they orgasm with a lover (which is quite impossible) also think that they orgasm when masturbating because they assume that almost any stimulation causes orgasm
Sex and love
A BBC documentary ‘The Human Body’ presented by Dr Robert Winston films a sex education class. First the teacher writes the word ‘SEX’ in large letters on the blackboard and then asks the teenagers to suggest other words associated with sex. After the standard contributions the teacher adds the word missing from the list: ‘LOVE’.
The female erectile sex organ (or phallus)
In the absence of testosterone, the genital tubercle forms the female phallus , called the clitoris. The clitoris consists of the glans and the internal organ. The clitoral glans is located just above the vaginal opening. Most of the clitoris (the body or shaft) is internal. Just below the mons pubis (that is covered with
The symbiotic relationship between men and women
When living in an environment devoid of sexual stimuli (such as one without women) most men cease all forms of sexual activity. For example, the arousal cycle of men, who are locked up in prison with no access to any kind of visual media (magazines, television and internet), grinds to a halt. This illustrates an
Female sexuality in perspective
Humans are one of the few mammals known to have intercourse even when the female is not in estrus (the fertile period in the female’s reproductive cycle). Intelligent social animals learn that cooperative behaviour can be far more successful than that of any individual alone. Thus human sexuality has evolved beyond the immediate needs of
The male erectile sex organ (or phallus)
A man’s sex organ (penis) is separate from his internal reproductive anatomy (testes and glands) but also integral. The penis has three main functions. Firstly men use their penis to urinate (but only when flaccid). Urine and semen both pass down the urethra, the tube which extends through the length of the penis. When a
Women only need to be amenable to offering intercourse
Samples based on volunteers will always attract people whose sexual (or political) motivation is well above the average for the general population. Women, who divulge their sexual histories, are either confident that orgasm is not possible with a lover or they are pleased to display their sexual prowess by claiming experiences that are considered normal
My research
Jane talks about ‘Ways Women Orgasm’ with accompanying slides to download! Standing in the street outside a sex clinic on London’s Harley Street, I paused a moment to consider: “What on earth am I doing here?” Well, quite simply I wanted to know why, despite being able to enjoy orgasm through masturbation since adolescence, I
Human sexual anatomy and development
Sexuality is about appreciating the human body and sexual anatomy . We should understand the function of the male and female genitalia as well as the changes that occur throughout our lives. It is also useful to know what kind of stimulation may be pleasurable or is involved in achieving orgasm. The step of evolving
Women respond to real-world erotic triggers as men do
Men are aroused by nudity and sexual opportunities, so it is assumed that women are too. The fact that pornography is censored in every society is ignored. No one seems to notice that women do not ogle anyone’s genitals. Women consider genitals to be ugly and smelly parts of the body. My own experience is
Understanding women’s sexual arousal
Sex is associated with reproduction and with pleasure. Male orgasm is usually co-incident with ejaculation which leads to reproduction but female orgasm is not required for a woman to become pregnant. So it’s at least possible that women may experience sexual pleasure (including sexual desire, sexual arousal and orgasm) differently to men. Men discover orgasm
The influence of religious beliefs on sexuality
Each culture has its own set of values. Some people consider these beliefs to be more important than others. While we are children, our parents make choices for us in the belief that they are for our benefit. Once we are adult, we can decide on our own values. Research indicates that both the cultural
The male arousal cycle from erection to ejaculation
Sensations of fear, apprehension, shock or surprise all give rise to nervous system responses that have characteristics in common with arousal. Some young boys initially orgasm in response to many of these kinds of stimuli. But over time adolescent boys come to associate their arousal with psychological stimuli (erotic turn-ons) that are explicitly sexual. They
Why sexual arousal is more elusive for women
Sexual desire is associated with ‘sex drive’. The male sex drive is a man’s biological drive to procreate by thrusting into a woman’s vagina until ejaculation (usually co-incident with male orgasm). Before the sexual revolution a woman was seen to have a complementary (not identical) sexual role to men in terms of accepting a man’s
Responsibility for contraception and abortion
The (contraceptive) pill, taken on a daily basis by a woman, contains hormones that stop her ovaries producing eggs. A condom, worn by the man over his penis during intercourse, prevents semen entering the vagina. A woman can wear a rubber diaphragm over her cervix (neck of the uterus). A woman can also have a
Male nudity does not cause female sexual arousal
The naked male body can be a beautiful sight and yet our heterosexual society is dominated by images of women’s bodies. The ancient Greeks were more relaxed about homosexuality and statues indicate their appreciation of the sensual male nude. [ddownload id=”33286″] Gay men certainly appreciate the naked male, including male genitals but women are often
Intercourse involves reproductive risk for women
Men tend to focus on sexual pleasure so we often equate sexuality to responsiveness. Orgasm is certainly one erotic pleasure that motivates a person to initiate sexual activity. But sexuality is, in fact, foremost about reproduction. Pleasure is merely a by-product. Given the key role of intercourse in male sexuality, it is tempting to assume
Women take on all the key disadvantages of intercourse
Research indicates that men are sexually active throughout their lives regardless of whether they are in a relationship. Women in relationships, in addition to never or rarely masturbating, only engage in sexual activity that is initiated by their partner. For the population as a whole, single women do not have intercourse as often or with
Sexual arousal from romantic emotions
Many women talk about sexual arousal and orgasm in terms of their relationship. They describe their loving feelings for their partner and explain their sexual arousal in terms of the idea that their partner finds them attractive. Masturbation has no meaning for them because, for such women, sex focuses on the emotional benefits of sharing
Intercourse needs to continue until ejaculation
A man is biologically motivated to impregnate a woman through an on-going process of demonstrating his virility (as a potent male who may be in demand from other women). Ejaculating into a lover’s body is the natural conclusion to the male arousal cycle. A man needs intercourse to dissipate accumulated sexual frustration and to feel
Women have the exact same sexual needs that men have
Sex research appears to indicate that many women orgasm both alone and with a lover. But all of this research is flawed because there is no agreement on what physical and mental stimuli cause women to experience orgasm. Erotic fiction shows women apparently having orgasms from whatever stimulation their lovers choose to provide. So while
Women often assume sexual arousal during sex
Unless they masturbate, most women are unaware that clitoral stimulation is needed for female orgasm. Equally, they are unaware that before genital stimulation can be effective, a person needs to know how to achieve true sexual arousal, which depends on an appreciation of eroticism (images for men; scenarios for women). From puberty onwards men’s sexual
Intercourse is the heterosexual lovemaking act
When a man and a woman are attracted to each other, intercourse feels very natural. This is no coincidence. The male and female body fit together to allow a sexual coupling. The mating position used by other mammals is rear entry (doggy position). Women tend to feel humiliated by this subjugated position. Most societies use
Male adolescence: differentiating orgasm from ejaculation
For sexually precocious boys, half have an orgasm by the age of 7 and two-thirds by the age of 12. But until they start ejaculating, such orgasms are one-offs or sporadic. Most boys (90%) ejaculate for the first time between the ages of 11 and 15. The average white male has his first orgasm that
Some women never tune into eroticism
Angela, a woman in her early twenties, was having relationship problems with her boyfriend of six months. She was upset that he enjoyed looking at other women. She got him to agree to stop buying pornographic magazines, which she found demeaning. ”Porn to men is not a big deal. They honestly can’t see how watching
Why women feel inadequate about their bodies
Given women’s dislike of genitals, many of the terms for the female genitals come from men and are considered obscene by women. Rather than refer to explicit anatomy, most women prefer to gesture and make vague references to ‘down there’. We can use ‘pussy’ for girls as the equivalent slang to ‘willie’ for boys. A
Our biological motivation to engage in vaginal intercourse
In the animal world (especially mammals) the male initiates mating. The male drive is evidenced by the behaviour of fighting over mating rights. There is not the same precedent for women’s sex drive because there is no evidence to indicate that female mammals achieve orgasm as a result of mating (or at any other time).
Confusion over female orgasm
When they talk about their sexual relationships with men, women will often refer to love, trust and commitment. These factors are obviously important for the stability of long-term relationships that family life depends on. But they are not factors that will help a woman learn how to enjoy orgasm during sex. Many women see sex
Why men feel inadequate over penis size
Men’s sexual role (after impregnating women) is to protect the family. In an aggressive situation a man must be physically large and muscular to intimidate an opponent. In a political situation he must be assertive and competent enough to impress an adversary. A man has more natural authority than a woman has. On the other
Identifying the erroneous assumptions about sexuality
We tend to assume (on the basis of erotic fiction) that women in real life: Have the exact same sexual needs that men have; Respond to real-world erotic triggers as men do; Experience arousal and orgasm as easily as men do; Are driven to engage in intercourse just as men are; Masturbate as commonly and
The mystery of female sexual arousal
In the film ‘True Lies’ (1994) Jamie Lee Curtis, as the dowdy housewife turned spy in the role of a prostitute, performs a sexy pole dance for her screen husband Arnold Schwarzenegger. It seems so natural that a man’s arousal comes from admiring a woman’s body. Yet we never question why a man’s foreplay techniques
How the male and female sexual roles differ
Primitive life, such as bacteria, reproduce asexually. But most animals and plants reproduce sexually. Offspring inherit genes from both parents. Even in plants, the process for enabling the male gamete to join with the female gamete is engineered by the male reproductive part of the plant. There is competition between male gametes because only one
Understanding men’s sexual and emotional needs
Male masturbation frequencies [i] vary significantly, indicating not only a range in responsiveness, but also the different conscious choices men make over how they enjoy their arousal cycle from erection to ejaculation. Sex is emotional for men because it connects them with lovers, family and society. Male mammals are often solitary creatures. They interact with
Sexual arousal during intercourse
When I had sex for the first time, I was disappointed because I had hoped that sex would be spontaneously arousing enough for me to orgasm. I didn’t have any clear idea about what I would do during sex except perhaps to respond affectionately to my lover’s love-making. It’s amazing when you think of it.
Diversity: our sex, our personality and our gender
Sexuality includes our sex, our personality and our gender . The reason we have two sexes is for diversity. Some people like being different. They like the attention they get and they may take steps to differentiate themselves from others by dressing or behaving differently. Others have no choice in being different from others and
Reproduction: the role of heterosexual intercourse
Despite the contrary research findings, society still promotes the idea that women orgasm from intercourse. Shere Hite’s research gave inconclusive results [i] when she asked women how they achieve orgasm. Around half of her sample of women said they never or rarely orgasm from intercourse. An even split hardly lends authority to women’s views either
Women’s sexual arousal
Published in 1972, ‘Joy of Sex’ by Alex Comfort MD was revolutionary at the time because it suggested a new openness and a sense of fun in modern sexual relationships. Liberal-minded couples welcomed the idea that it could now be considered normal and ‘uninhibited’ to enjoy sex as a natural part of an adult relationship.
Reproduction involves more than just intercourse
Sexuality is about reproduction . But human reproduction involves much more than intercourse. The distinct male and female roles are apparent from nature. The female produces the egg and the male fertilises it. We are all a product of genes from one man and one woman. A man has a protruding phallus (penis) and a
An evidence-based approach to researching sexuality
I am documenting my research approach, which is different to that taken by other researchers. I have not had a budget, colleagues or the support of an academic institution to engage in the kind of research that has been done in the past. My sex research is based on a much more basic assumption. I
Female masturbation
As our bodies develop through puberty, young men and women become aware of themselves as very different sexual beings. Boys have erections as early as 8 or 9. During puberty the penis increases substantially in size and becomes much more responsive to stimulation, both mental and physical. By the age of 12 or 13, most
Alfred Kinsey’s research findings (1948 and 1953)
Alfred Kinsey and his colleagues held private interviews with over 10,000 people. His team classified people according to sex, age and education level. They then produced tables to see if there were any correlations between sexual activity and personal characteristics. Kinsey used the frequency of orgasm (responsiveness) as a measure of sexuality. His work was
Sex information must explain real women’s behaviours
The young tend to be the most sexually active. So mature couples with decades of experience often assume that young people know more about sex than they do. In turn each generation rejects the wisdom of its elders. The sex researchers’ findings have been so contentious that their work is simply ignored. So today we
Female sexuality
Sex is associated with pleasure (through sexual arousal and orgasm) as well as with reproduction (through family and relationships). However male and female sexuality are, often implicitly, defined differently in terms of the importance of the relationship aspects of sex. For example, men are motivated to enjoy their own sexual arousal and orgasm regardless of
Men have typically led the research into sexuality
Sigmund Freud, the Austrian psychologist (1856 to 1939), was the first scientist of note to talk of female sexuality. Freud’s methods were based on observation rather than science. He treated women for what was believed to be repression of their natural sexual urges. In those days, few couples in the population were aware that women
Female sexuality – a more realistic perspective
Slides summarising ‘Women’s Sexual Behaviours & Responses’. Humans have sex in order to reproduce, to enjoy sensual or erotic pleasure and to form the emotional bonds that support family life over decades. Reproduction is the prime purpose of sex. So sex is presented in terms of intercourse, in which female orgasm plays no role, but
Sex for life
One great aspect of men growing older is that they become slightly less obsessed with their own sexual arousal and need for sexual release. Now that his own need for orgasm is less pressing, my partner is able to focus on my arousal and can bring me to orgasm through using a combination of anal
Sexual pleasure need not always focus on orgasm
Alfred Kinsey concluded that any research that involved making subjective judgements of the emotional rewards of sex activity would make it impossible to compare individual experiences (because of personal interpretation). He chose to use responsiveness as an objective measure of sexual activity. Measuring physical phenomenon is a very natural male perspective on sexual function. Kinsey
Bibliography
Reference Sexual behavior in the human female – Alfred Kinsey, Wardell Pomeroy, Clyde Martin & Paul Gebhard (1953) The Hite Report (on Female Sexuality) – Shere Hite (1976) The Hite Report on Male Sexuality – Shere Hite (1981) Dictionary of Sexual Terms – Michael Carrera (1992) Human Sexuality (fifth edition) – William Masters, Virginia Johnson
Men hope a lover will enhance their sexual arousal
The sex industry (prostitution and pornography) is a clear indication that men’s desire to enjoy their own sexual arousal and orgasm cannot be satisfied through their relationships with women alone. It’s easy for a woman to figure out that men want sex… but they also want to be loved and appreciated through their sexual relationship.
Why women do not orgasm from cunnilingus
Men believe that cunnilingus causes female orgasm. But where does this belief come from? It doesn’t come from any research findings. Cunnilingus is clearly associated with pornography rather than women’s sexual pleasure. Misunderstandings over cunnilingus arise primarily because of the belief that women are aroused by the prospect of sexual activity in exactly the same
Sexologists need to challenge what they are told
On an on-going basis, I ask sexologists, medical professionals, sex workers, gay men, lesbians, heterosexuals and anyone else, who might be assumed to be interested in the topic, to comment on my articles and quotes. Very few people comment, especially women. Some women get angry and defensive but they have nothing constructive to say. Some
Long-term sexual relationships
Why in our liberated times do women still accept ‘putting up with sex’ just to avoid being single? I am not judging anyone else’s experiences. If other women are content with sex as they find it – I’m very happy for them. But are they really? Or are they simply more accepting? A woman in
Sexual pleasure is defined by sociable activity
Mammals use grooming to connect socially with others. They also snuggle up together for warmth and comfort. Regardless of responsiveness, it can be reassuring to feel the proximity of another person’s body: the gentle rise and fall of their abdomen, the warmth and feel of their skin are comforting. The pleasures a woman enjoys from
Sexology should present research not popular beliefs
Why is sexual pleasure taboo? Probably because of the associated exploitation (of women by men) and deceit (perpetrated by women on men). [i] Few people appear to be capable of appreciating objective sex information. The taboo involved in talking about sex means that most people prefer to say nothing. Political correctness prevents sexologists from questioning
How men appreciate sex and love
My mother never talked to me much about sex but she did tell me to respect a man’s sexual ego. She believed that a man’s sexual performance relies on a sensitive lover who understands how to play to a man’s sexual fantasies. A man hopes for a lover who is enthusiastic about sharing physical intimacy
Only some men are motivated to offer foreplay
There must inevitably be some men who are content with the frequency and quality of sex that their female partners provide. This may be because they are less responsive than the average male so they can better accommodate women’s lesser sexual interest. But it is also equally certain that many men are quite oblivious to