Men’s orgasm techniques are consistent regardless of sexual orientation. Once he has responded to a turn-on, a man stimulates his penis whether he engages in masturbation, oral sex or intercourse. Only the anatomy of their lover dictates whether men engage in vaginal or anal intercourse.
Women’s orgasm techniques are much less consistent. Notably behaviours differ significantly between gay and straight women. Sexual orientation determines turn-ons (whether we are aroused by the same or opposite sex) but it should not reasonably affect how we achieve orgasm.
Lesbians have the advantage of being women themselves who are aroused by women’s bodies. Consequently they have a well above average knowledge of the female sexual anatomy.[i] Lesbians stimulate the clitoris, the labia and the outer portion (the entrance) of the vagina.
Heterosexual activity involves one man and one woman. So men and women are sexual equals to the extent that women participate in heterosexual activity as much as men do. But the motivations are different.
While male orgasm is associated with explicit mental and physical stimuli female orgasm is only implicit within heterosexual lovemaking.
Nature would not be so cruel as to cause someone to experience frustration and not give them the ability to obtain relief. Male sexual frustration arises when intercourse is not available. Women feel only personal frustration if they cannot orgasm with a lover when they are told they should.
Women who respond as a lover by simulating arousal or who describe sex as orgasmic have a significant advantage. No one boasts about the orgasms they enjoy alone. The only reproductive advantage worth bragging about is a woman’s ability to attract a man so that he wants to impregnate her. Consequently explanations for how women orgasm alone are much more consistent than for how they orgasm with a male lover.
Stimulation of the vagina is associated with a male partner. The clitoris is associated with women’s stimulation of themselves or other women. Naturally the vagina prevails. Men’s desire for vaginal penetration far outweighs heterosexual women’s desire to rob men of their delusions.
Confusion over anatomy only arises with a male lover because of a man’s drive to penetrate. Men need an erection to engage in lovemaking because their ultimate goal in sexual activity is to engage in intercourse.
[i] Whenever female homosexual relationships include genital techniques, the clitoris is usually involved. This is particularly significant because the partners in such contacts often know more about female genital function than either of the partners in a heterosexual relation. (p575 Kinsey 1953)
Excerpt from Women’s Sexual Behaviours & Responses (ISBN 978-0956-894717)