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Emotional bonding: women are unresponsive by design
Kinsey’s work remains the most comprehensive data we have on sexuality. It represents a unique opportunity to study female sexuality at a time when women felt much less obliged to claim orgasms with a lover. Kinsey’s work was the first exposé of women’s covert sexuality (women’s masturbatory and lesbian activities). But the idea that women
Hello Ms Jane, Your helpful advice & pleasuring techniques to enhance the…
Hello Ms Jane, Your helpful advice & pleasuring techniques to enhance the joy for both partners is much needed. Tavinder
These differences account for the male’s desire for frequent sexual contact, his…
These differences account for the male's desire for frequent sexual contact, his difficulty in getting along without regular sexual contact, and his disturbance when...
Why do so few women comment on sexual pleasure?
I am not so crazy as to approach just any random woman on the subject of sex. I know that most women will be irreversibly offended even at the mention of sex. So I choose women who appear to be fairly liberated and then I approach the subject tangentially. Of the women I have been
We will never be able to protect girls, if we are not…
We will never be able to protect girls, if we are not honest about what they can expect from sex.
Few women ever talk about sex. Those who are paid to do…
Few women ever talk about sex. Those who are paid to do so, promote sexual health and porno orgasms. They do not talk of...
Overall, men were more likely than women to be sexually active, report…
Overall, men were more likely than women to be sexually active, report a good quality sex life, and be interested in sex.
I, for one, was bitterly disappointed when sex did not deliver the…
I, for one, was bitterly disappointed when sex did not deliver the easy arousal portrayed in erotic fiction. I also could not believe that...
Women only orgasm when alone not with a lover
Men’s drive to penetrate inherently involves another person. But women do not have this hormonal drive that men have. So women have not evolved the ability to be aroused by a man’s body because their orgasm does not contribute to the reproductive process. There is no reason why female orgasm should occur during sexual activity
The average college-bred male is more likely to extend the pre-coital petting…
The average college-bred male is more likely to extend the pre-coital petting for a matter of five to fiteen minutes or more.
The crux of the matter (The Sexual Revolution) – the effect of…
The crux of the matter (The Sexual Revolution) - the effect of declaring sex healthy and necessary, and women 'free' to do it -...
And if women orgasm easily through oral sex, why do men complain…
And if women orgasm easily through oral sex, why do men complain that women seldom return the favour by offering fellatio? But also why...
Both sexes enjoy emotional rewards from sexual intimacy
Whenever a man and a woman share physical intimacy, the man’s arousal is very evident. A man’s erection gives visual evidence, not only that he is aroused, but that he wants to obtain penile stimulation. He demonstrates this by massaging his erection. He is very appreciative when a partner offers to stimulate his penis by
I feel ashamed that for as long as I’ve been married I…
I feel ashamed that for as long as I've been married I am just now learning these things about a woman. It makes me...
Although the male is frequently aroused without completing his response, he rarely…
Although the male is frequently aroused without completing his response, he rarely engages in such activities as masturbation or coitus without proceeding to the...
Why it can be difficult to discuss our sexual relationships
One of the reasons that adults find it difficult to discuss sex openly is because of the personal nature of sex. It’s important to consider how other people might feel as a result of what we say. So men can be offended if it is implied that because they are enthusiastic about sex this necessarily
As with all forms of casual sex, swinging focuses on intercourse and…
As with all forms of casual sex, swinging focuses on intercourse and male orgasm.
Foreplay does not assist with female orgasm because women are not aroused…
Foreplay does not assist with female orgasm because women are not aroused with a lover. Foreplay is foremost about male arousal.
The clitoris is not this little nub on the outside of the…
The clitoris is not this little nub on the outside of the vulva, but is actually this large internal organ comprised of erectile tissue...
Romance may cause a woman to be amenable to sex but anyone…
Romance may cause a woman to be amenable to sex but anyone who is familiar with orgasm will know that reaching orgasm involves a...
We (not a sex toy or lover) cause our own orgasm
Even when a sex organ is capable of penetration (as the penis is), it cannot cause a lover’s orgasm . For a person to orgasm, they must be motivated to obtain the correct stimulation of their own phallus. Men are aroused biologically and automatically; women are not. The physical stimulation involved in achieving orgasm is
Among males who have been stimulated anally in the homosexual, there are…
Among males who have been stimulated anally in the homosexual, there are only a few who are particularly aroused, and only an occasional individual...
… the idea that it is a man’s role to ‘give’ the…
... the idea that it is a man’s role to ‘give’ the woman an orgasm during intercourse. … In addition to the pressure created...
Consider fellatio as a parallel. No matter how amazing the sensations are…
Consider fellatio as a parallel. No matter how amazing the sensations are for a man, when a lover stimulates his penis orally, the mouth...
My personal story
The story of my childhood is foremost a personal project. It may provide insights into my character and formative experiences, which have made my work on sexuality possible. It may also help the reader understand what has motivated me to work so hard and for so little reward in such a taboo area of the
Your articles reveal a reality which many of us didn’t know. An…
Your articles reveal a reality which many of us didn't know. An eye opener. Thanks, Rafi
Many females, of course, report that they are offended by portrayals of…
Many females, of course, report that they are offended by portrayals of sexual action ... most females are indifferent or antagonistic to the existence...
Sexual fact versus sexual fantasy
Imagine the scenario: a woman, wearing a skirt and no panties, climbs a ladder. A man below enjoys a clear view of her genitals. Imagine now that the genders are reversed: my point is that a woman is unlikely to appreciate the view in the same way that a man does. Of course, someone will
Women tend to be wary of any male approach, no matter how…
Women tend to be wary of any male approach, no matter how it is disguised, because they learn that men are just looking for...
Pornography involves graphic male turn-ons that are offensive to women (at least…
Pornography involves graphic male turn-ons that are offensive to women (at least those who are willing to be honest)!
It (the penis) is not designed to be consistently erect as depicted…
It (the penis) is not designed to be consistently erect as depicted in all kinds of media – able to be erect inordinate amounts...
When girls become women they learn that men’s response to their body…
When girls become women they learn that men's response to their body provides them with a tremendous advantage both in earning easy admiration and...
How we know that female masturbation is rare
Kinsey concluded that masturbation was not only the quickest way for a woman to orgasm (4 minutes on average) but also the most reliable way (95% success rate). Women’s masturbatory activities provided the clearest evidence for female orgasm. Kinsey found that 20% of women masturbated regularly. So his work indicates that around 20% of women
… there is widespread but certainly unfounded opinion among psychiatrists, which is…
... there is widespread but certainly unfounded opinion among psychiatrists, which is repeated among other clinicians involved in marriage counseling, that there is such...
Having a man love me and want to have sex with me…
Having a man love me and want to have sex with me is necessary to my happiness. It gives me a feeling of being...
Men learn from a young age that sex is a topic that…
Men learn from a young age that sex is a topic that is not mentioned in front of women. So many women are offended...
Women are aroused by fantasy, not real-world turn-ons
Men are aroused by thinking about sexual activity with someone they find attractive. Only two thirds (69%) of women ever have erotic fantasies. The rest (31%) admit that they have never once been aroused by thinking about eroticism. They are not even aroused by thinking about their own partners. But this makes sense because women’s
I really do appreciate the work you’re doing. It’s so important for…
I really do appreciate the work you're doing. It's so important for all the right reasons. Thank you. Michelle
Oral stimulation of the female genitalia is most often directed toward the…
Oral stimulation of the female genitalia is most often directed toward the labia minora or the clitoris.
Is sexual arousal with a partner really so easy?
I approached my adult life in anticipation of a mutually enjoyable sex life. This optimism was fuelled by my love of erotic literature, which I read avidly as a teenager. I enjoyed exploring my sexual fantasies and by the age of seventeen I discovered orgasm through female masturbation. When I had sex for the first
Men learn that women do not appreciate direct sexual approaches. A man…
Men learn that women do not appreciate direct sexual approaches. A man is likely to get his face slapped or to be reported for...
Jane Thomas talks about the evidence from research findings.
Jane Thomas talks about the evidence from research findings.
By focusing on some aspect of sex that she finds particularly arousing,…
By focusing on some aspect of sex that she finds particularly arousing, and by exaggerating it to the point of outrageousness, a woman increases...
Presumably, for a fortunate few, the erotic stories describing the overwhelming sexual…
Presumably, for a fortunate few, the erotic stories describing the overwhelming sexual arousal that fictional women have from vaginal penetration are a reality. For...
The kind of stimulation that leads to orgasm
Regardless of orientation, men orgasm through intercourse, masturbation and fellatio. A man’s arousal (in the form of an erection) also gives him a clear indication of the anatomy he wants to stimulate. By contrast women, including lesbians, enjoy more sensual whole-body and emotional pleasures with a lover because of their lack of arousal. This contributes
Pre-coital petting is limited in many of the lower level histories to…
Pre-coital petting is limited in many of the lower level histories to the most perfunctory sort of body contact, or to a single kiss...
I think I have sex almost always to consummate a bond, to…
I think I have sex almost always to consummate a bond, to develop and perpetuate closeness.
I am challenging modern beliefs about female sexuality, which I believe are…
I am challenging modern beliefs about female sexuality, which I believe are wrong. For example: if women masturbate during sex, why are so few...
Orgasm is not a vital aspect of women’s sexuality
All men (to varying degrees) are capable of orgasm because orgasm is the trigger for ejaculation of sperm into the vagina. Men do not have organs equivalent to the uterus and the mammary glands. So men cannot perform women’s reproductive role of childbearing. But women are potentially capable of orgasm (not ejaculation). The reason is
I love your genius in elaborating sex. I can’t get enough of…
I love your genius in elaborating sex. I can't get enough of your work! You are a blessing! Elijah
… since most males are aroused by seeing female breasts, and because…
... since most males are aroused by seeing female breasts, and because most females, are in actuality, only moderately aroused by having their breasts...
Bluffers, fakers and sex surveys
Pam, an attractive woman in her late forties, told me that she had never had a problem with sexual arousal and orgasm. She started masturbating at the age of eight and after thirty years with the same man, she was still enjoying orgasmic sex as she had done from day one. Women’s sexual arousal and
Sexuality is about our emotions and how we feel loved in our…
Sexuality is about our emotions and how we feel loved in our relationships with others.
Male orgasm is achieved by massaging the blood flow within the male…
Male orgasm is achieved by massaging the blood flow within the male phallus. How is female orgasm achieved?
There are two types of penis. One expands and lengthens when becoming…
There are two types of penis. One expands and lengthens when becoming erect (The Grower). The other appears big most of the time but...
The aim of Ways Women Orgasm is not to dwell on the…
The aim of Ways Women Orgasm is not to dwell on the difficulties but to accept that they exist and suggest how couples can...
Women’s fantasies are sexually explicit scenarios
A responsive woman’s use of fantasies means her experiences do not fit with any of the descriptions of sexual activity that we see portrayed in society. Sexual activity is usually sociable but it is also portrayed in graphic terms. When something happens in your head, it can be purely conceptual. This is probably why women
The age at which the male became adolescent or, more strictly speaking,…
The age at which the male became adolescent or, more strictly speaking, the general metabolic level which probably determines both the age of onset...
With women there is a lot of hugging, kissing, caressing, i.e., a…
With women there is a lot of hugging, kissing, caressing, i.e., a lot more touching and affection.
Heterosexual men assume that the sensations of being penetrated are equally arousing…
Heterosexual men assume that the sensations of being penetrated are equally arousing as the sensations of penetrating. They don't take into account that intercourse...
Male and female sexuality both contribute to reproduction
When I started researching my sexuality, I knew how to masturbate to orgasm so I wanted to know how women achieved the orgasms with a lover that I had never found possible. I was fortunate because my partner was a practical person and eager to explore my body and responses. It’s just none of this
Most men talk generally & make non-personal comments about sex. They only…
Most men talk generally & make non-personal comments about sex. They only suggest that successful happenings are personal. But problems are surrounded by silence....
Considerable affection or strong emotional attachments were involved in many of these…
Considerable affection or strong emotional attachments were involved in many of these (lesbian) relationships.
Women who appear to want sexual pleasure
When I was 21, I met an Italian boy of the same age during a stay in Rome. Alfredo cared about how he dressed and would often check his appearance in the mirror. I teased him because I had always been taught that personal vanity was undesirable. Alfredo wore designer sunglasses in the day but
Women engage in intimate physical activity with a lover primarily as a…
Women engage in intimate physical activity with a lover primarily as a bonding mechanism and to demonstrate affection.
I don’t want erotic fiction (read loads) or textbook theories (read lots…
I don't want erotic fiction (read loads) or textbook theories (read lots of those too) - just personal stories. Thanks!
The legal definition of rape is when a person intentionally penetrates another’s…
The legal definition of rape is when a person intentionally penetrates another's vagina, anus or mouth with a penis, without the other person's consent.
If men want women to be more amenable to sex, then they…
If men want women to be more amenable to sex, then they should take the emphasis off orgasm (both their own and hers) and...
How women masturbate themselves to orgasm
Women may be mildly curious about genitals but they are not aroused by them. Neither are women hormonally aroused as younger men are. So most women are not remotely curious about masturbation . Female orgasm is rare. So we will never have millions of women agreeing on how they orgasm . The best we can
Few males achieve any real freedom in their sexual relations even with…
Few males achieve any real freedom in their sexual relations even with their wives. Few males realize how badly inhibited they are on these...
Why, in our pattern of sexual relations, does the man have charge…
Why, in our pattern of sexual relations, does the man have charge of both his stimulation and ours?
Sex is done to women. It does not originate from their own…
Sex is done to women. It does not originate from their own responses. So it is highly embarrassing for most women.
Women’s arousal depends on a more indirect mechanism
Men are turned on as a direct consequence of their drive to penetrate (a female) and thrust until ejaculation. A woman lacks this drive. Women are not naturally aroused by either sexual activity or genitalia [i] as men are. A woman aged 29 said she couldn’t understand why a 70-year-old man would still want to
Keep fighting for the truth Jane, no matter how uncomfortable it may…
Keep fighting for the truth Jane, no matter how uncomfortable it may make people feel and how many taboos it challenges. The truth will...
Although 58 per cent of the females in our sample were masturbating…
Although 58 per cent of the females in our sample were masturbating to orgasm at some time in their lives, it was a much...
Talking to women about female orgasm
Since the experts I talked to had no rational explanations, I decided to do my own research by talking to women I met in everyday life. I quickly learned just how highly embarrassing it is to approach women on such an intimate topic. Very few women are willing to talk about sex at all and
Women often receive rewards for pleasing a man. Yet men cannot believe…
Women often receive rewards for pleasing a man. Yet men cannot believe that some women employ behaviours to please men.
While men reward women who tell them what they want to hear,…
While men reward women who tell them what they want to hear, they will never hear the truth. Most women stay silent to keep...
Men orgasm 85% of the time they have sex on average, while…
Men orgasm 85% of the time they have sex on average, while women only reach climax 63% of the time, according to a study...
Regardless of her sexual expectations, any woman is more likely to offer…
Regardless of her sexual expectations, any woman is more likely to offer sex when she feels good about the relationship and loving towards her...
Educated men masturbate more than other men
Masturbation is least common among less educated males (89%). More men who are high school educated (95%) and men who are college educated (96%) are involved in masturbation for at least some period of their lives. Masturbation frequencies after marriage are highest (69%) among men who are college educated. Only 42% of men, who are
The sexual life of a male of a lower educational level is…
The sexual life of a male of a lower educational level is primarily dependent upon actual physical contacts.
I haven’t gotten away from the feeling that I’m ‘dirty’ ‘down there’.
I haven't gotten away from the feeling that I'm 'dirty' 'down there'.
The evidence for female responsiveness needs to come from women who can…
The evidence for female responsiveness needs to come from women who can talk confidently about their enjoyment of arousal (a response to erotic stimuli)...
Some women masturbate without aiming for orgasm
It is difficult to establish the nature of female masturbation. [i] Women do not always use fantasy as men do, which suggests they may not always be masturbating to orgasm. Some infant girls masturbate as an instinctive comforting activity. Sometimes they reach a resolution that is interpreted as orgasm. However a young child does not
Dear Jane, your work is fabulous! As a psychologist, your information has…
Dear Jane, your work is fabulous! As a psychologist, your information has really been a great asset in helping my clients. Thank you for...
In something more than half (56 per cent) of the (lesbian) histories,…
In something more than half (56 per cent) of the (lesbian) histories, there had been genital appositions which were designed to provide specific and...
Interpreting experiences of female orgasm
When a man is stimulated sexually by a partner he finds it difficult to avoid becoming aroused. Similarly, if a woman’s response to penile thrusting (or any other physical stimulation technique) was automatic then women would presumably be unable to avoid becoming aroused whatever their conscious desires. So in the movie ‘Swordfish’ (2001) Hugh Jackman
Responsiveness is a characteristic of the brain we are born with. A…
Responsiveness is a characteristic of the brain we are born with. A responsive person discovers orgasm because the sensations of tumescence (increased blood-flow) motivate...
Jane Thomas explains that men & women are likely to experience sexual…
Jane Thomas explains that men & women are likely to experience sexual pleasure differently.
… male turn-ons are concrete, while many female turn-ons are situational and…
… male turn-ons are concrete, while many female turn-ons are situational and atmospheric… it helps if a woman has some male-type object reactions, like...
Given the popular belief that female arousal and orgasm during sex are…
Given the popular belief that female arousal and orgasm during sex are easily achieved, many women simply assume that they experience these sensations as...
How men masturbate themselves to orgasm
Few boys masturbate before the onset of adolescence. Only 10% of boys are masturbating by the age of nine and only 13% by ten years of age. Male masturbation frequencies vary significantly in the population indicating not only a range in responsiveness but also variations in how different men can use their minds to enjoy