HomeFeed

Feed

I love physical affection and touching but find that this inevitably leads…

I love physical affection and touching but find that this inevitably leads to sexual desire on the part of men. Therefore I refrain from...

Women get angry and defensive when asked to explain their beliefs about…

Women get angry and defensive when asked to explain their beliefs about how they orgasm. They boast about orgasm by reflecting beliefs about female...

Sexual pleasuring techniques a woman may enjoy

There are no female equivalents to the turn-ons that motivate men sexually. [i] Women often prefer intercourse in the dark and they do not enjoy observing their own genitals. The visual impact of her own and a lover’s genitalia can even detract from a woman’s enjoyment of sexual pleasuring. This is because a woman prefers

You have a wonderful collection of books! Thank you for sharing them…

You have a wonderful collection of books! Thank you for sharing them with me! MaryLee

Sexual adjustments between husbands and wives could be worked out more often…

Sexual adjustments between husbands and wives could be worked out more often if males ... understood that the reactions of their ... wives ......

Making the most of sex play

Overall my partner and I have been lucky to have enjoyed exploring eroticism and sex play together. Sure we have had our ups and downs like anyone else. There have also been many positive moments. When I am in a romantic mood, perhaps after a movie or after spending companionable time with my partner, it

Some women enhance their own (and a lover’s) apparent sexual prowess by…

Some women enhance their own (and a lover's) apparent sexual prowess by faking orgasm to meet expectations from pornography. Other men complain that their...

We orgasm by massaging either the penis or the clitoris. Specifically, we…

We orgasm by massaging either the penis or the clitoris. Specifically, we stimulate the corpora cavernosa within the erectile organ!

Men, remember, feel good as a result of having sex. Women want…

Men, remember, feel good as a result of having sex. Women want to feel good before having sex.

What is confusing, for women who masturbate, is that clitoral stimulation can…

What is confusing, for women who masturbate, is that clitoral stimulation can only lead to orgasm once a woman has achieved the necessary psychological...

How a man can have relationship sex more often

Nature never intended men to be monogamous. In every society, men’s greater inclination for promiscuity is accepted as a natural and defining characteristic of male sexuality. A woman offers sex to a man because she knows that if she doesn’t, he will go looking for another woman. So women’s need for male support, has contributed

As long as sex is dealt with in the current confusion of…

As long as sex is dealt with in the current confusion of ignorance and sophistication, denial and indulgence, suppression and stimulation, punishment and exploitation,...

I think sex is great but I don’t want to sleep with…

I think sex is great but I don't want to sleep with everyone or anyone that comes along. There has to be a special...

But isn’t it a wild coincidence that women, who boast about orgasm,…

But isn't it a wild coincidence that women, who boast about orgasm, are basically telling men exactly what they want to hear? Not only...

Women do not experience easy erotic arousal with a lover

Lesbians have the advantage (as women) of having a similar responsiveness as their lovers. Also being women, they are not so intent on genital stimulation, penetration and orgasm. A woman does not need a partner to respond to stimulation as some men do. Lesbians can be more relaxed about exploring sexual pleasuring without any pressure

Keep those posts coming Jane! A treasure of knowledge! Anton

Keep those posts coming Jane! A treasure of knowledge! Anton

A smaller percentage (69 per cent) of the females … said that…

A smaller percentage (69 per cent) of the females ... said that they had ever had erotic fantasies about males, and nearly a third...

Sexual relationships favour male orgasm

Younger women are often seen to be more sexual simply because, until they find their mate, they have more incentive to be popular with men. Dating includes sex as part of a ‘wine and dine’ package fuelled on both sides by sexual ego. Sex is fun because of the chase and the novelty of an

Men obtain sexual relief as well as significant erotic and emotional pleasure…

Men obtain sexual relief as well as significant erotic and emotional pleasure from penetrative sex (intercourse) and other activities with a lover. However, women...

Jane Thomas explains orgasm doesn’t just happen – women can enjoy eroticism.

Jane Thomas explains orgasm doesn't just happen - women can enjoy eroticism.

When you have an orgasm the pelvic floor muscles always contract. If…

When you have an orgasm the pelvic floor muscles always contract. If that does not happen you are not having an orgasm.

Many women see sex as an emotional and loving experience. Either they…

Many women see sex as an emotional and loving experience. Either they have no expectation for orgasm or they assume that their loving emotions...

The role of relationship therapists and counsellors

Adults are embarrassed about sex because of their emotional insecurities. Our emotional needs include a need to impress, a need to belong and a need to be valued. Some people lack self-esteem, which stems from anxiety. We avoid discussing relationship issues for various reasons. We want to avoid conflict. We don’t want to admit that

It is a mistake to assume that a sophistication of technique would…

It is a mistake to assume that a sophistication of technique would be equally significant to all persons. For most of the population, the...

98 percent of the women … said they would like more verbal…

98 percent of the women … said they would like more verbal closeness with the men they love; they want the men in their...

Orgasm occurs in the brain. It is not just a question of…

Orgasm occurs in the brain. It is not just a question of physical stimulation. Some form of fantasy is needed.

For women, sexual attraction does not include erotic arousal

Women are attractive to men because their bodies cause intense male arousal. Women are attracted to other women because female bodies are more sensual and less overtly sexual than male bodies. Men are attractive to other men because of their easy arousal. Heterosexual women respond to men’s desire for penetrative sex to please their lover

… Jane’s website is genuinely trying to help women with honest information…

... Jane's website is genuinely trying to help women with honest information ... AND it helps men too. If they want a better perspective....

There are probably very few heterosexual males who would not take advantage…

There are probably very few heterosexual males who would not take advantage of the opportunity to observe a nude female, or to observe heterosexual...

Women who enjoy their own sexual arousal

Perhaps it would be simpler if I explained that I am targeting women who masturbate regularly in order to enjoy their own sexual arousal and orgasm. Other women can be totally convinced that sexual arousal is easy and I am very happy for them. But if you do not masturbate then you cannot usefully comment

Sexuality is about enjoying sexual pleasure with a lover. We experience sensual,…

Sexuality is about enjoying sexual pleasure with a lover. We experience sensual, emotional and erotic pleasure.

The key benefit of talking about women’s enjoyment of sexual pleasuring in…

The key benefit of talking about women’s enjoyment of sexual pleasuring in reality (rather than fantasy) is that it might actually be achievable!

Orgasms are natural, but intercourse is not, for many of us, the…

Orgasms are natural, but intercourse is not, for many of us, the easiest way to have them.

If sex provides men and women with equal pleasure, why do women…

If sex provides men and women with equal pleasure, why do women so often want to obtain a financial advantage from their sexual relationships...

Anorgasmia, preorgasmia and vaginismus

Women who masturbate themselves to orgasm are called pre-orgasmic. Rather than celebrate the fact that they experience orgasm , the implication is that women are inadequate because (regardless of any scientific facts or logic) they cannot please a man by having their orgasms during intercourse. Men’s sex drive makes intercourse an obligatory activity for heterosexuals.

Most of the female masturbatory techniques are labial, or more often, clitoral….

Most of the female masturbatory techniques are labial, or more often, clitoral. A high proportion of the female homosexual relations similarly depend upon stimulation...

Yes, I like intercourse. I like men, their bodies, and pleasing them.

Yes, I like intercourse. I like men, their bodies, and pleasing them.

Women mistakenly assume that emotional stimuli (such as the sound of a…

Women mistakenly assume that emotional stimuli (such as the sound of a lover's voice, kissing or caressing) cause arousal. But mental arousal depends on...

Understanding Sexual Response

Hi, I am Jane Thomas, the sex educator and researcher. My work challenges the many misconceptions and contractions in our beliefs about the orgasms...

Your work is so inspiring. Melanie

Your work is so inspiring. Melanie

The testes may seem to hurt when there is unrelieved erotic arousal…

The testes may seem to hurt when there is unrelieved erotic arousal ... Such aches are usually relieved in orgasm because the muscular tensions...

Difficulty reaching orgasm during sex

The website ‘Go Ask Alice!’ confirms that it is likely to be difficult for a woman to reach orgasm through intercourse since the clitoris is not located inside a woman’s vagina. They suggest that women should aim to have their orgasm during other sexual activity either before or after intercourse. Any woman who can climax

One of the most confusing things about how female sexuality is portrayed…

One of the most confusing things about how female sexuality is portrayed in erotic fiction, is the implication that women achieve orgasm by stimulating...

Learn About Sexuality talks about sexuality: including intimate relationships, the sex industry…

Learn About Sexuality talks about sexuality: including intimate relationships, the sex industry & enjoying sexual pleasure!

Approximately 30 percent of women don’t have sexual fantasies. For some, it’s…

Approximately 30 percent of women don’t have sexual fantasies. For some, it’s a vestige of the old notion that fantasy is something only men...

It is easy for a woman to pleasure a man and the…

It is easy for a woman to pleasure a man and the fantasy leads us to assume that it ought to work the other...

Premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunction

It’s not uncommon for a man to have a problem with erections from time to time. But erectile dysfunction (ED) that happens routinely is not normal and should be treated. ED is defined as difficulty getting or keeping an erection that’s firm enough for intercourse. ED is the most common sexual problem that men report

Among less restrained couples deep kissing is a simultaneous accompaniment of actual…

Among less restrained couples deep kissing is a simultaneous accompaniment of actual coitus, especially at the moment of orgasm.

… there was no correlation with frequency of orgasm: women who did…

… there was no correlation with frequency of orgasm: women who did not orgasm with their partner were just as likely to say they...

Some women get an ego boost from exhibiting their sexuality. In an…

Some women get an ego boost from exhibiting their sexuality. In an attempt to be more convincing, they try to justify their orgasms (which...

Bringing variety of situation and technique to intercourse

Although intercourse provides little internal sensation, a woman feels some external pressure. When a man thrusts deeply [i] the base of his penis may thump or brush against her vulva (the clitoris and labia) and perineum (towards the anus). She may enjoy the eroticism of being dominated (from the whole-body contact and his weight) and

Your work matches my lifelong hunches, borne out by my imperfect observation….

Your work matches my lifelong hunches, borne out by my imperfect observation. Your level-headed delivery comes off as helpfully trustworthy & authoritative. Pawel

Many females consider that male genitalia are ugly and repulsive in appearance…

Many females consider that male genitalia are ugly and repulsive in appearance … there seems no doubt that these reactions largely depend upon the...

Why sex is fun

If the male sex drive only involved a desire for orgasm, then men would be happy settling for masturbation instead of sex. No doubt a great deal of time and money would be saved but life wouldn’t be so much fun! Men have evolved a desire for penetration above all else because it leads to

Pornography provides boys with completely unrealistic images of women’s sexuality. … This…

Pornography provides boys with completely unrealistic images of women's sexuality. ... This issue needs to be addressed by sex educators if boys are to...

Could you explain to teenagers how we orgasm both alone & with…

Could you explain to teenagers how we orgasm both alone & with a lover, irrespective of gender & orientation?

In fact, since only about 30 percent of women achieve orgasm with…

In fact, since only about 30 percent of women achieve orgasm with intercourse but over 80 percent experience a climax with masturbation, orgasm by...

Yet many women are shocked by eroticism (whether visual or verbal pornography,…

Yet many women are shocked by eroticism (whether visual or verbal pornography, erotica or the concept of sexual fantasy) and equally shocked by the...

The misunderstandings behind sexual dysfunction

True sexual dysfunctions are very rare. The word dysfunction implies that something is not working properly. In order to define dysfunction, we must first define normal functioning. We also need to specify whether we are talking about reproductive function, erotic orgasm or emotional pleasure. A woman may feel miserable if she cannot conceive but sexual

… the restraint of the wife constantly lowers the frequencies (of intercourse)…

... the restraint of the wife constantly lowers the frequencies (of intercourse) in all segments of the population, but chiefly among better educated groups.

Lesbian sex is very different from sex with men. It is not…

Lesbian sex is very different from sex with men. It is not an 'exchange' or a 'trade' ..., it is not something done to...

A woman does not masturbate by replicating the sensations of vaginal penetration…

A woman does not masturbate by replicating the sensations of vaginal penetration (assuming that she is aiming for orgasm). Women orgasm alone by massaging...

Women’s ability to engage in sex is not limited by orgasm

Female orgasm is not easy and to suggest otherwise trivialises the effort women’s partners make to arouse them. Women respond to please a lover. [i] This does not make them doormats. Women have other emotional and pecuniary needs. But sexual relationships would simply not as they do function if women were as egotistical as it

Often our struggles with intimacy are problematic as neither side is open…

Often our struggles with intimacy are problematic as neither side is open to discussing it. Jean Claude

… whenever physical contacts or psychologic stimuli had led to orgasm, there…

... whenever physical contacts or psychologic stimuli had led to orgasm, there was rarely any doubt of the sexual nature of the situation, ......

Lust is good

I suppose that I have been lucky. My sexual desire to enjoy my own sexual arousal and orgasm is evidently unusual for a woman. I know that this is unusual because most women talk of love, trust and commitment. From time to time, I positively enjoy jumping on my man. But it doesn’t work like

Sexuality is about a sexual relationship, which includes social, emotional and sexual…

Sexuality is about a sexual relationship, which includes social, emotional and sexual aspects. Long-term committed relationships are vital to supporting families over the decades...

Jane Thomas explains that intercourse impregnates women & cannot give them an…

Jane Thomas explains that intercourse impregnates women & cannot give them an orgasm.

Women’s motivation (or willingness) to have a sexual experience stems from a…

Women’s motivation (or willingness) to have a sexual experience stems from a number of ‘rewards’ or ‘gains’ that are not strictly sexual, these rewards...

Knowledge does not force a person to make certain choices – it…

Knowledge does not force a person to make certain choices - it gives them a choice.

Sex as a bargaining chip in loving relationships

When we are single, we can focus on our own selfish needs. But when we have a relationship with another person, we need to consider their needs as well as our own. Sometimes these two demands conflict. Relationships of any kind are an inevitable compromise. Men obtain their prime emotional reward through penetrative sex. A

There are quite a few individuals, especially of the grade school and…

There are quite a few individuals, especially of the grade school and high school levels, who find more interest in the pursuit and conquest,...

To consider all non-reproductive sexual contact ‘an error of nature’ is a…

To consider all non-reproductive sexual contact 'an error of nature' is a very narrow view.

No one consciously chooses what concepts, body parts or objects cause their…

No one consciously chooses what concepts, body parts or objects cause their arousal. Mental arousal occurs subconsciously or not at all. This aspect of...

Responsive women use surreal fantasy to generate arousal

Before I started my research, I hadn’t appreciated that my experience was so unusual. Reading Hite’s work in my early twenties, reassured me that I was not alone. Both Kinsey and Hite documented many women who knew that orgasm is rarely possible with a lover. But in many years of talking about sex on the

You can always count on me, because as a woman I feel…

You can always count on me, because as a woman I feel you're bringing change which is highly needed. Soonitee

It is the constant complaint of married females that their husbands are…

It is the constant complaint of married females that their husbands are … primarily concerned with genital stimulation … It is the constant complaint...

How do women achieve sexual arousal during sex?

Some women happily accept the modern media’s portrayal of women as complete sexual beings, for whom spontaneously orgasmic sex is as much of a given as it is for a man. Other women find that orgasms do not ‘just happen’. Pressure to find answers comes not only from the woman who hopes to enjoy what

By contrast women, including lesbians, enjoy more sensual whole-body and emotional pleasures…

By contrast women, including lesbians, enjoy more sensual whole-body and emotional pleasures with a lover because of their lack of arousal.

Original research does not mean just agreeing with everyone else’s opinion! Research…

Original research does not mean just agreeing with everyone else's opinion! Research involves changing the status quo.

We have lots of expectations about how relationships are ‘supposed’ to look….

We have lots of expectations about how relationships are ‘supposed’ to look. Many times, this fairy-tale model doesn’t mimic our lives or our realities.

Some women appear to be so sheltered from the world of adult…

Some women appear to be so sheltered from the world of adult eroticism that one wonders if they have ever experienced sexual urges of...

The misconceptions that arise from pornography

Pornography provides boys with completely unrealistic images of women’s sexuality. The female body is sexualised and objectified (projected in way that causes male arousal). Such images give misleading impressions about women’s sexual willingness and availability. This issue needs to be addressed by sex educators if boys are to have healthy relationships and find emotional happiness.

Sometimes the dreamer is a participant in the activities, and sometimes the…

Sometimes the dreamer is a participant in the activities, and sometimes the dreamer does not participate but merely observes.

Willing to support her in every way…

Willing to support her in every way...

My feeling is that I would consider sucking a cock with a…

My feeling is that I would consider sucking a cock with a loaded gun at my head. No other way.

What strikes me as odd is that the only evidence men seek…

What strikes me as odd is that the only evidence men seek of female responsiveness is that women should be enthusiastic about intercourse. Surely...

Women’s need for affection drives regular relationship sex

While women often fail to appreciate the importance men place on eroticism, men seldom appreciate the importance women place on affection. Sex is so much more rewarding for women when they feel affection for their lover. In the early days, a man is more motivated to show his appreciation for a lover by being affectionate.

It’s important work that your doing, both for women and for those…

It's important work that your doing, both for women and for those people who love them, myself included. Dave

Most males are likely to approach females as they, the males, would…

Most males are likely to approach females as they, the males, would like to be approached by a sexual partner. They are likely to...

Eroticism

Men and women live in different worlds when it comes to attitudes to eroticism. I suggested that most women today know how to pleasure a man but a British sex expert (male) disagreed: “They haven’t a clue, and even if they knew, most wouldn’t do it.” A joke illustrates the point: “What is the difference

Regardless of orientation, men orgasm through intercourse, masturbation and fellatio. A man’s…

Regardless of orientation, men orgasm through intercourse, masturbation and fellatio. A man's arousal (in the form of an erection) also gives him a clear...

Anyone who thinks they know better is very welcome to provide the…

Anyone who thinks they know better is very welcome to provide the facts, the logic or the research findings that support their view.

There are a lot of people out there pretending to be sex…

There are a lot of people out there pretending to be sex experts. Everyone seems to think they are an expert.