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Shere Hite – The woman-in-the-street (most …

The woman-in-the-street (most of us) still has the impression that it is ‘normal’ to orgasm from male thrusting.

Love Sex Intimacy – Men cannot accept that without…

Men cannot accept that without a sex drive, women have no reason to be remotely interested in sex. Rather than try to convince men...

Some men expect women to make sex exciting for them

Films use sound effects to indicate a couple having sex off-screen: a regular banging (of a bed against a wall) and the woman’s vocal accompaniment. Such scenes may represent a turn-on for men but it seems to me that men enjoy making female arousal into a tasteless joke. Male fantasies put tremendous pressure on women

Testimonials – It is SO SO easy to have unrea…

It is SO SO easy to have unreal expectations of a woman and hence become selfish as we live in such a 'what can...

Alfred Kinsey Female Sexuality – … the pre-adolescent boy’s c…

... the pre-adolescent boy's capacities for specifically sexual responses develop rapidly as he nears adolescence. This is not matched by any similar rise in...

Spice up your sex life

A young woman, who had promised her father that she would remain a virgin until a certain age, complied with his request by having anal sex with her partners (Note: STD protection and contraceptives still required). Unsurprisingly, she was very popular with men who tend not to be so hung-up about breaking sexual taboos. To

Learn About Sexuality – If we are to understand men an…

If we are to understand men and women's sexuality, we must never forget that Nature wants us to engage foremost in intercourse. Male sex...

There’s amazingly little diffe…

There's amazingly little difference between the theories of sexologists & the emotional beliefs of the general population.

Other Sources – Men’s illusions about women ar…

Men’s illusions about women are long on fantasy and short on reality… the more experience a man has with women in the real world,...

Ways Women Orgasm – Whatever taunts are thrown out…

Whatever taunts are thrown out by men looking for a frivolous lay, in the longer term men respect a more picky woman.

Sexual behaviours compensate for responsiveness

We cannot start to understand sexuality unless we differentiate between responsiveness and conscious behaviours . For the most part, our minds and bodies function in similar ways regardless of sex or orientation. We cannot control the level of our sex drive, the erotic stimuli that cause our arousal and the frequency with which we orgasm.

Alfred Kinsey Male Sexuality – … the average age of onset of …

… the average age of onset of adolescence in the white male is about 13 years and 7 months.

Shere Hite – Of the 82 percent of women who…

Of the 82 percent of women who said they masturbated, 95 percent could orgasm easily and regularly, whenever they wanted.

Love Sex Intimacy – People are amazed when I quest…

People are amazed when I question the orgasms actresses are portrayed as having in pornography. They cannot believe that anyone would doubt the fiction....

Women have more reason to invest in a loving relationship

Young women cannot possibly imagine the challenge of a sexual relationship spanning decades. They experience sex through spontaneous and romantic interludes. Long-term relationships take effort on both sides. They are not a whirlwind of sexual passion from beginning to end. A man enjoys sexual activity most with a lover who assumes a proactive role in

Testimonials – Let us enjoy and savour life. …

Let us enjoy and savour life. I invite you to read some very wise words about eroticism from a very knowledgeable lady. Thanks to...

Alfred Kinsey Female Sexuality – We do not believe that the hap…

We do not believe that the happiness of individual men, and the good of the total social organization, is ever furthered by the perpetuation...

How to pleasure a man

Tracy Cox (author of ‘Hot Sex’ 1998) tells the story of a woman who welcomes her partner home wearing a sexy nightdress, with champagne by the bed and a pornographic movie ready to play. If she does this regularly over the longer term then I take my hat off to her! Her partner is a

Learn About Sexuality – Given her lack of erotic arous…

Given her lack of erotic arousal with a lover, a woman has no incentive to be proactive in sexual activity of any kind unless...

Jane Thomas talks about the ev…

Jane Thomas talks about the evidence from biological & evolutionary precedents.

Other Sources – The idea of ‘no-strings attach…

The idea of ‘no-strings attached’ sex is very attractive to most men, gay or straight.

Ways Women Orgasm – A man tends to assume that phy…

A man tends to assume that physical intimacy is a given as soon as a woman shows him any affection. A woman needs time...

Misunderstandings over how orgasm is achieved

The issue of female orgasm with a lover is at the core of sexual politics. Men want to feel valued as lovers. Women want to keep men happy in bed so they get other things in exchange such as love, support and companionship. The confusion over female orgasm is down to two main factors. Firstly

Shere Hite – I would not have answered hone…

I would not have answered honestly without anonymity...

Love Sex Intimacy – A man’s willingness to stimula…

A man's willingness to stimulate a woman (even if only through intercourse) reassures him that his motivations (because they are aimed at pleasuring his...

The penis is an external organ but the clitoris is internal

The clitoris is the equivalent organ to the penis. They both develop from the genital tubercle in the foetus. The suggestion is that the two organs respond identically in the same scenarios (masturbation, intercourse and oral sex). Yet the penis is always stimulated directly. The clitoral organ is supposedly prodded through the walls of the

Testimonials – Hello I wanted you to know th…

Hello, I wanted you to know that I have enjoyed reading your book. I found your material interesting, perceptive, informative, and well written. Yumi

Alfred Kinsey Female Sexuality – There is an honesty in science…

There is an honesty in science which demands that the best means be used for the determination of the truth.

Some women do explore sexual pleasure

Slowly attitudes to sexual pleasure are changing and more couples are approaching their sex life with a willingness to try activities other than vaginal intercourse. Basically, if you are struggling with lack of arousal during sex and genuinely want to share your own arousal with a partner then you will need to be prepared to

Learn About Sexuality – Some couples experiment early …

Some couples experiment early on with different positions. But they usually resume missionary style intercourse, which involves least effort for a woman.

It’s not the first time in hum…

It's not the first time in human history that science has shown that our intuition can provide the wrong answers.

Other Sources – When a man decides to sensuall…

When a man decides to sensually touch a woman, he does the things he prefers – he gropes her boobs and crotch. This is...

Ways Women Orgasm – Inevitably there must be some …

Inevitably there must be some women who are sexually insatiable and some men who are unmoved by sex but these individuals do not represent...

Women have varying degrees of sexual willingness

Human beings are sociable animals. Most of us want to be accepted in our social group. We want to share experiences. We hope to enjoy the company of others. We are reassured by the support of family, friends and a lover. It is also a survival strategy because humans tend to attack those who are

Alfred Kinsey Male Sexuality – Certainly no aspect of human b…

Certainly no aspect of human biology in our current civilization stands in more need of scientific knowledge and courageous humility than that of sex.

Shere Hite – The reproductive model of sex …

The reproductive model of sex insures male orgasm by giving it a standardized time and place ... But there are not really any patterns...

Love Sex Intimacy – Experts imply that women are h…

Experts imply that women are happy with a lack of orgasm. Most women are too embarrassed to question. Others don't want to hurt their...

Women’s talk of orgasm does not lead to more sex for men

Ironically (because only male responsiveness declines with age) women are often more sexually active when younger. Once a woman has children, she is much less motivated by sex. Women are more confident about admitting that intercourse does not cause orgasm as they age, by acquiring status or wealth or through education. Women today say they

Testimonials – If sex education was really ta…

If sex education was really taught to girls, not reproductive education, we would be better off, because we would know the facts, not the...

Alfred Kinsey Female Sexuality – Discontinuities in total outle…

Discontinuities in total outlet are practically unknown in the histories of males.

Sharing physical intimacy with a partner

I always enjoyed sharing physical intimacy with a lover but this is very different to achieving my own sexual arousal. I always knew that true sexual arousal was missing because I was familiar with orgasm from the very first time that I had sex. Very few women discover female masturbation so early in their life. From

Learn About Sexuality – Heterosexual men assume that w…

Heterosexual men assume that what pleases them must please a woman equally as well and heterosexual women accept whatever stimulation a man offers.

Let’s put the size issue to on…

Let's put the size issue to one side. Women's sexual anatomy is internal and it is only ever tumescent (never rigid like male anatomy).

Other Sources – For example men found anal se…

For example, men found anal sexual behaviors (including anal sex, anal toys, and anal fingering) more appealing than women. The same was true for...

Ways Women Orgasm – Real female orgasms involve th…

Real female orgasms involve the release of sexual emotions not romantic feelings. So it does not matter how much you love your partner, orgasm...

Women are often disappointed with casual sex

We are all living longer due to improved health and lifestyles. So ‘til death do us part’ is much longer than it used to be centuries ago. Some couples like the idea that they are not bound solely to each other for decades. For most couples this is not an option and adultery is a

Alfred Kinsey Male Sexuality – Throughout the mammals is it t…

Throughout the mammals is it the male which more often (but not always) pursues the female for a sexual contact.

Shere Hite – I like touching very much but…

I like touching very much, but with my husband a touch is all he needs to think it's time to hop into bed.

Love Sex Intimacy – For men all of these activiti…

For men, all of these activities (intercourse, fellatio and masturbation) involve stimulating the penis. The stimulation technique is consistent. The shaft of the penis...

The idea that women are naturally aroused with a lover

Jane’s slides on ‘Relationship Sex’ help explain female arousal. The very first time I had sex, I knew that something was up. I felt absolutely nothing. I just lay there wondering what was going on until my partner had finished. I concluded the whole thing was a hoax. But because of the ignorance in our

Testimonials – You have taught me so much ove…

You have taught me so much over the last few months. Thank u! Frederick

Alfred Kinsey Female Sexuality – In not a few instances transve…

In not a few instances transvestitism develops out of a fetishistic interest in clothing or some part of clothing of the opposite sex.

Women who want to enjoy sexual pleasure

When I was growing up there was never any embarrassment over nudity at home. As divorcees, my parents naturally enjoyed sexual relationships with various partners from time to time. So I have never seen any reason why I should not enjoy the same easy sexual arousal and orgasm apparently promised by erotic fiction. Especially since

Learn About Sexuality – Responsiveness (the ability to…

Responsiveness (the ability to respond to the point of orgasm) is part of male reproductive function.

Over decades of sex a woman ap…

Over decades of sex a woman appreciates a lover who explores sex play beyond intercourse.

Other Sources – Couples who had sex more than …

Couples who had sex more than once a week didn’t report being any happier, and those who had sex less than once a week...

Ways Women Orgasm – Most women never talk about lo…

Most women never talk about lost sexual opportunities. They talk about commitment and trust. This enormous gap between the sexes means that most women...

Women attract men by sexualising themselves

We wear clothes for protection, for warmth, for decency and also for display. The need to differentiate ourselves depends on our personality. Many women believe it is an essential part of their femininity to display their bodies. As long as there are no consequences (they are protected from male advances), women enjoy the admiration they

Alfred Kinsey Male Sexuality – The educated male’s interest i…

The educated male's interest in protracted relationships which involve social contacts and pre-coital petting is likely to go unsatisfied with most prostitutes.

Shere Hite – The penis … has two roots kn…

The penis ... has two roots known as crura ... During sexual excitation these crura become engorged with blood and contribute to erection of...

Love Sex Intimacy – Others find pleasure in these …

Others find pleasure in these non-reproductive aspects of their sexuality. They enjoy fantasy, erotic turn-ons and stimulating themselves to orgasm quite separately from a...

A woman may offer intercourse when she feels appreciated

Romance involves a man demonstrating his interest in a woman as a person. This personalised attention helps a woman interpret a man’s sex drive as being directed towards her as an individual. This is why men still pay for dates that don’t necessarily end in sex. [i] A woman offers physical intimacy to a man

Testimonials – Jane It really takes courage …

Jane, It really takes courage to go public on the kind of projects you are pursuing. I compliment you on your strong spirit. Love,...

Alfred Kinsey Female Sexuality – Females do produce … extensi…

Females do produce ... extensive literature which is called erotic ... but most of these deal with more general emotional situations, affectional relationships, and...

Sexual pleasure

Self-evidently there are ‘responsible’ aspects of sex as well as the ‘pleasurable’ but sexual ignorance is of no use to anyone. Young women today are more likely to end up pregnant as a result of pressure from men or from idealised images of motherhood than from any hope of enjoying sexual pleasure. Providing girls with

Learn About Sexuality – Gender is a person’s feeling o…

Gender is a person's feeling of identification with being male or female. Gender, typically described in terms of masculinity and femininity, is a social...

Why is female orgasm so import…

Why is female orgasm so important to men? Men want to believe that sex involves men doing women a favour - rather than the...

Other Sources – It’s not that men are insensit…

It’s not that men are insensitive. Their brains just aren’t organised to notice small details and changes in the appearance or behaviour of others.

Ways Women Orgasm – Many people describe their sex…

Many people describe their sex life, including evidence of female arousal, as if it came straight out of erotic fiction. I have come to...

The sexual politics of women competing over men

If men and women wanted the same thing there would be no sexual politics . Men and women are at odds because they want different things. Marriage comes with its privileges and obligations. A man’s reward is regular sex. A woman’s reward is caring for those she loves. Sexual politics involves men and women using

Alfred Kinsey Male Sexuality – Extra-marital intercourse most…

Extra-marital intercourse most often causes difficulty when it involves emotional and affectional relations with the new partner who take precedence over the spouse.

Shere Hite – All he ever wants is intercour…

All he ever wants is intercourse. I have been hurt by his refusals and by his lack of reciprocation. I don't feel my husband...

Love Sex Intimacy – Our sense of sexual inadequacy…

Our sense of sexual inadequacy comes from expectations set by unique individuals. Yet the very sensationalism of such stories highlights the rarity of women's...

Women are sexually passive due to lack of erotic arousal

Sexual reproduction even in plants (pollination) involves pollen being transferred (by wind or bees, for example) from the male reproductive part (the anther, part of the stamen) to the female reproductive part (the stigma, the tip of the pistil) of the plant. The male part is active and the female part is static. This is

Testimonials – I have enjoyed your messages f…

I have enjoyed your messages for some time now, thank you for sharing your personal experience too, very bold, best wishes to you :)...

Alfred Kinsey Female Sexuality – The possibility of reconciling…

The possibility of reconciling the different sexual interests and capacities of females and males ... and the possibility of adjusting social concepts to allow...

Very few women talk about orgasm

After finding no answers from talking to experts, I decided to do my own research by talking to women I came across in everyday life. I wrote about some of my experiences and conclusions and then asked women whether they would be willing to read what I had written. I made it clear that there

Learn About Sexuality – Sex determines a person’s biol…

Sex determines a person's biological status as male or female. Sex is defined by biological facts: chromosomes, balance of hormones as well as internal...

Jane Thomas asks: is sex drive…

Jane Thomas asks: is sex drive about our motivation to reproduce or to experience orgasm?

Other Sources – Differences in how women and m…

Differences in how women and men experience orgasms can lead to unrealistic expectations and a misinterpretation of the meaning of sexual response.

Ways Women Orgasm – I had questions from the very …

I had questions from the very first time I had sex but there was no one to ask. Years later when I tried to...

Sex as a competitive sport and erotic entertainment

A woman values a man as a social asset (who has status and experience). But a man values a woman as a sexual asset. A young woman is a trophy because of her attractiveness and her inexperience. A man enjoys knowing that his lover is attractive not only to himself but also to other men.

Alfred Kinsey Male Sexuality – There seems to be no question …

There seems to be no question but that the human male would be promiscuous in his choice of sexual partners throughout the whole of...

Shere Hite – I still believe the greatest s…

I still believe the greatest sexual satisfaction comes from having a partner you care about. I've gone through stages of having several lovers and...

Love Sex Intimacy – Men like to discuss their own …

Men like to discuss their own enjoyment of eroticism and sexual pleasure with a lover. They are also confident to assert that women achieve...

Showing sexual initiative and providing erotic feedback

Doesn’t anyone else find it odd (and very convenient!) that modern advice on female orgasm just so happens to reflect almost exactly how women’s responsiveness is portrayed in pornography? Real women are obliged to exaggerate their apparent responsiveness to encourage a lover to keep going and to substitute for the much more obvious signs of

Testimonials – Your work focuses on the side …

Your work focuses on the side that is rarely discussed - from the perspective of women. That's what is most educative for me. Mosh

Alfred Kinsey Female Sexuality – … males are usually aroused …

... males are usually aroused and often intensely aroused before the beginning of a sexual relationship and before they have made any physical contact...

Why is sexual pleasure still taboo?

If sex is so equal then why would anyone need to pay for sex? Prostitution exists because men’s drive to enjoy sexual pleasure cannot always be satisfied through relationships. Most women interpret their sexual experiences in emotional terms as ‘making love’. Consequently, wives and girlfriends are often reluctant to offer more sexually explicit sexual pleasuring. Given

Learn About Sexuality – Sexuality is about reproductio…

Sexuality is about reproduction. But human reproduction involves much more than intercourse.

Men experience sexual love bas…

Men experience sexual love based on their own physical gratification. Women experience nurturing love.

Other Sources – … a woman’s sexual fulfilment …

… a woman’s sexual fulfilment is much more complex than a man’s. She requires a man with a skilful touch, lots of time, and...