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I’ve had a few orgasms – (um) I can count only one…
I've had a few orgasms - (um) I can count only one or two total in all my life with approximately fifteen lovers to...
Men’s politics is characterised by violent action and women’s by manipulative silence….
Men's politics is characterised by violent action and women's by manipulative silence. But silence proves nothing.
Sexuality & Sexual Techniques
Hi, I am Jane Thomas. I write about sexual techniques and sex play that focus on pleasuring women. I try to bring some common...
Your work is really essential and important. I’m your long term supporter….
Your work is really essential and important. I'm your long term supporter. Keep in touch ok and stay blessed. Irfan
The incidences and frequencies of marital coitus had reached their maxima in…
The incidences and frequencies of marital coitus had reached their maxima in the first year or two of marriage. From that point, they had...
Sexual promiscuity
Renate, a student of twenty-six, liked to be affectionate with her male friends but then was bewildered when they interpreted her hugs as a sexual advance. A man tends to assume that physical intimacy is a given as soon as a woman shows him any affection. A woman needs time to build the emotional intimacy
Marriage involves a man agreeing to limit his sexual opportunities elsewhere in…
Marriage involves a man agreeing to limit his sexual opportunities elsewhere in exchange for regular sex with his wife.
If female orgasm were common, surely every woman would be an orgasm…
If female orgasm were common, surely every woman would be an orgasm expert? Why are women so reluctant to comment?!
For married women today it’s difficult to square our expectations of sexual…
For married women today it’s difficult to square our expectations of sexual fulfilment with the realities of long-term relationships.
In fact the link between clitoral stimulation and female orgasm comes NOT…
In fact the link between clitoral stimulation and female orgasm comes NOT from women's experience of sex BUT from female masturbation.
The erotic pleasure a man enjoys from sex
Men typically initiate sex and they masturbate much more frequently than women do. If male sex drive only involved a desire for orgasm, then men could settle for masturbation instead of sex. Men have a reproductive or biological drive that means they need intercourse for the best sexual release. For a man, the action of
Concepts of sexual perversion depend in part on this same reproductive interpretation…
Concepts of sexual perversion depend in part on this same reproductive interpretation of sex.
Freud was the founding father of vaginal orgasm. He theorized that the…
Freud was the founding father of vaginal orgasm. He theorized that the clitoral orgasm (orgasm caused by clitoral stimulation) was adolescent and that, upon...
An organ such as the vagina, which is essentially a cavity, could…
An organ such as the vagina, which is essentially a cavity, could never be a sex organ. ... Even the proposal that there is...
The sexual anatomy involved in women achieving orgasm
Shere Hite’s sample, because she targeted female orgasm specifically, included even more women (82%) who masturbated (compared with Kinsey’s sample of women). Yet even though such women must be familiar with clitoral stimulation techniques when masturbating, around half of them [i] said the same techniques did not help them orgasm with a lover. Once again
I’ve been following Jane for years. I can highly recommend her work….
I've been following Jane for years. I can highly recommend her work. Apparently she is not allowed to share her work everywhere ... Lars
Many females manipulate the male genitalia only at the request of the…
Many females manipulate the male genitalia only at the request of the male ...
The sexual politics of female sexual desire
Although the modern day hype about female sexuality was in part sparked off by the work of Alfred Kinsey, the facts he reported have long since been lost in the rush to sensationalise female sexual desire. Kinsey’s report clearly set out the much lower sexual response of the female (as measured by the incidence of
The clitoris becomes tumescent (swollen) but it does not become erect (rigid)…
The clitoris becomes tumescent (swollen) but it does not become erect (rigid) as the penis does.
Any woman who thinks orgasm with a lover is easy or straightforward,…
Any woman who thinks orgasm with a lover is easy or straightforward, has obviously never had an orgasm in her life.
Women who do not appreciate the validity of the motivational forces and…
Women who do not appreciate the validity of the motivational forces and who search in vain for spontaneous desire – which may resemble their...
Sexual arousal is a mental state that arises when the mind responds…
Sexual arousal is a mental state that arises when the mind responds to PSYCHOLOGICAL stimuli (of an erotic or sexual nature). Sexual arousal is...
Men are aroused by seeing and stimulating genitals
Children of both sexes are indifferent to genitals . They may be mildly curious but they consider genitals to be ugly and smelly parts of the body. At puberty, the increase in male responsiveness causes young men to be fascinated by genitals. For women the connotations from childhood continue into adulthood because women are not
Considerable psychiatric therapy can be wasted on persons (especially females) who are…
Considerable psychiatric therapy can be wasted on persons (especially females) who are misjudged to be cases of repression when, in actuality, at least some...
As Ann Koedt put it, in ‘The myth of the vaginal orgasm’:…
As Ann Koedt put it, in ‘The myth of the vaginal orgasm’: Perhaps one of the most infuriating and damaging result of this whole...
We often hear sex educators blaming men for ignoring women’s presumed sexual…
We often hear sex educators blaming men for ignoring women's presumed sexual needs. But why are women so incapable of obtaining their own sexual...
Stimulation and a focus on eroticism continue until orgasm
Imagine you are a woman. Your partner asks you to masturbate him to orgasm. Each time you do this, you would notice that the length of time varies. The amount of stimulation required differs. This is because a man’s initial state of arousal varies and his engagement in the activity (thoughts in his head) vary
I am sure a lot of people read your articles with interest…
I am sure a lot of people read your articles with interest even though they are too shy to comment. You just keep on...
Many of the (women’s) heterosexual dreams had an indefinitely affectionate or generally…
Many of the (women's) heterosexual dreams had an indefinitely affectionate or generally social content which did not include overtly physical contacts. While such dreams...
Women who fake orgasm
Men tell me how convinced they are that ALL their partners orgasm during sex. But that’s kind of what faking orgasm is about, isn’t it? If it wasn’t convincing then what would be the point? Men should sleep with women who are less sexually experienced. Virgins are much more likely to admit that intercourse does not
The clitoris is largely an internal organ. Only the tiny glans (or…
The clitoris is largely an internal organ. Only the tiny glans (or bud) is visible externally.
Jane Thomas explains that the clitoris is the female sex organ.
Jane Thomas explains that the clitoris is the female sex organ.
In many ways female sexuality is still mysterious.
In many ways female sexuality is still mysterious.
Most women are not aiming for orgasm through genital stimulation so they…
Most women are not aiming for orgasm through genital stimulation so they interpret sexual relationships as 'love-making'.
Only men are aroused by the prospect of sex
Men often vocalise their appreciation on seeing an attractive woman but men are rarely on the receiving end of similar flattery from women. Men never seem to notice that women are not aroused by men’s bodies. Many men like to display their sexual interest as bravado. They never notice that women do not admire men
… the female is generally less responsive than the male erotically, and…
… the female is generally less responsive than the male erotically, and for that reason … less often takes the initiative in any sex...
I have been married to one partner for over twenty-sex years, and…
I have been married to one partner for over twenty-sex years, and it's been very satisfying. I have only one wish: for vaginal orgasm...
Men obsess about female orgasm because it is elusive in reality. Pornography…
Men obsess about female orgasm because it is elusive in reality. Pornography exaggerates female responsiveness to provide turn-ons that assist with male orgasm. After...
Relatively few women ever use a vibrator to masturbate
Sex toys are a useful addition to a couple’s sex play: to take the pressure off a man having an erection and to provide stimulation that does not necessarily lead to orgasm. But many gimmicks bought in embarrassment and ignorance are never used. Lying on her back exposes the vulva and can be a good
Very interesting, intriguing, challenging, etc. field of study to undertake. You are…
Very interesting, intriguing, challenging, etc. field of study to undertake. You are handling it very intelligently. Congratulations and wish you all the best! Warm...
… it is probable that few males would marry if they did…
… it is probable that few males would marry if they did not anticipate that they would have an opportunity to have coitus regularly...
Young and sexy
A young and sexy woman complained about the male attention she got every time she left the hostel on 42nd Street, Manhattan, dressed in her high heels and low cleavage. Yes, well… It is relatively easy for a woman to attract a man’s attention by enhancing her looks. It is more difficult for her to
Unlike a man, a woman has separate anatomy for urination (the urethra),…
Unlike a man, a woman has separate anatomy for urination (the urethra), reproduction (the vagina) and orgasm (the clitoris). These three functions are all...
Sex education is not just about the mating act. It’s also about…
Sex education is not just about the mating act. It's also about understanding a range of sexual pleasuring techniques.
It’s important to see three points: (1) change is possible; (2) it…
It’s important to see three points: (1) change is possible; (2) it isn’t his fault that he is the way he is; and (3)...
Through masturbation boys learn how to use genital stimulation to bring a…
Through masturbation boys learn how to use genital stimulation to bring a psychological state of sexual arousal to orgasm. Yet, against all logic, it...
Understanding a man’s need for erotic turn-ons
For most people, sexual activity whether alone or with a lover is a private affair. We rarely see other people engaging in sexual activity. We rely on fictional accounts from books or movies. Most of this fictional activity involves sociable situations. Masturbatory activities are less commonly portrayed. Men’s key focus is penetrative sex. Male erotic
Having reached its peak in adolescence, sexual activity in the male drops…
Having reached its peak in adolescence, sexual activity in the male drops steadily from then into old age.
To tell you the truth, I’m really not sure. I have read…
To tell you the truth, I'm really not sure. I have read so many descriptions ... of what an orgasm is ... I used...
Women evidently enjoy sensual and intimate activity, through masturbation and with another…
Women evidently enjoy sensual and intimate activity, through masturbation and with another woman, without any need for vaginal penetration.
Women’s erotic fantasies have a psychological context
Male fantasies are usually easily applied to real life. Men fantasise about activities they would like to do. Women do not have the same advantage. Women’s fantasises include taboo themes such as sadism, domination and rape. They involve unrealistic scenarios with a complex psychological context that can be difficult to relate to day-to-day sexual opportunities.
Thank you for your thoughtful, informative view of sexuality. It has given…
Thank you for your thoughtful, informative view of sexuality. It has given me perspective and helped remove a few 'urban legends' some of us...
… females who had used fingers or other objects in vaginal penetrations…
... females who had used fingers or other objects in vaginal penetrations did so ... because they wanted to entertain their male partners who...
Understanding female sexual desire
One of the misconceptions of the sexual revolution was the proposal that, for men and women to be equal, they had to be the same. But testosterone is the sex hormone. Men’s bodies are full of it but women have much lower levels of testosterone. Attributes traditionally considered feminine (e.g. being passive or accommodating) were
The sensations that accompany orgasm vary considerably depending on the physical and…
The sensations that accompany orgasm vary considerably depending on the physical and psychological (erotic or emotional) circumstances that give rise to orgasm.
Women look for emotional rewards from their relationships so they tend to…
Women look for emotional rewards from their relationships so they tend to find men's sexuality crude & impersonal.
When it comes to women’s priorities, why, once in a secure relationship,…
When it comes to women’s priorities, why, once in a secure relationship, is sex no longer on top?
Unfortunately the vagina (as part of the birth canal) has very few…
Unfortunately the vagina (as part of the birth canal) has very few nerve endings. Only the clitoris, the female sex organ and source of...
An arousal trigger is either an object or a concept
Some boys and young men can be so highly aroused that they orgasm spontaneously or with little time needed to become aroused. But most adults (and certainly women) need a period of time to build the kind of arousal that leads to orgasm. Arousal arises as an instinctive response to turn-ons, which are objects or
For most males, whether single or married, there are ever-present erotic stimuli,…
For most males, whether single or married, there are ever-present erotic stimuli, and sexual response is regular and high.
… it is the emotional warmth shared at this time, and the…
... it is the emotional warmth shared at this time, and the feeling of being wanted and needed (not the plain physical act) which...
No one thinks it an odd coincidence that male fantasies should define…
No one thinks it an odd coincidence that male fantasies should define the reality of female responsiveness so precisely. Yet the basis for so-called...
Stimulation that leads to orgasm is applied instinctively
We all assume we already know everything there is to know about sex and sexuality. Even though we have never had a sex education (because no one has), we are confident that no other knowledge (beyond what we already know) exists. Certainly, there is a lack of factual information. But equally none of us ever
Thank you so much Jane. You deserve immense love from my side…
Thank you so much Jane. You deserve immense love from my side for being such an excellent writer. It is a privilege for me...
Many males, however, basing their concepts on their understanding of coitus and…
Many males, however, basing their concepts on their understanding of coitus and upon their conceit as to the importance of the male genitalia in...
A sexual relationship
Judy married in the late 1950s; well before the average woman was informed about what a sexual relationship might involve. Judy’s aspirations were to provide a comfortable home for her family and to enjoy being a wife and a mother. When I talked to her, Judy was in her mid-sixties with grown up children and a
Intercourse is an activity that facilitates male ejaculation of semen. The sperm…
Intercourse is an activity that facilitates male ejaculation of semen. The sperm (from the testes) pass from the penis (via the vagina) into...
Our society produces masses of porn but no sex education. No wonder…
Our society produces masses of porn but no sex education. No wonder men have no clue about real women's sexuality!
Surveys have revealed that 75% of men ejaculate within 2 minutes of…
Surveys have revealed that 75% of men ejaculate within 2 minutes of penetration.
Women are told that orgasm occurs easily and naturally during sex so…
Women are told that orgasm occurs easily and naturally during sex so many believe that they orgasm when, in fact, they don't.
Some people enjoy abstract eroticism and fantasy
Sexuality is about our motivation to explore our fantasies both during masturbation alone and during sex play with a lover. Our ability to reach orgasm ultimately depends on what happens in the brain. We tend to focus on the mechanics of sex but erotic pleasure is foremost about turn-ons. Men enjoy the turn-on of penetration
There is an inclination among psychiatrists to consider all unresponding individuals as…
There is an inclination among psychiatrists to consider all unresponding individuals as inhibited ... This amounts to asserting that all people are more or...
I wish I could have the same type of orgasm I have…
I wish I could have the same type of orgasm I have during masturbation when I have intercourse with my husband.
Female orgasm is promoted as if it is a relationship accessory. But…
Female orgasm is promoted as if it is a relationship accessory. But orgasm is a highly specific genital response that arises because we ourselves...
The G-spot explains the orgasms women think they have
Inexperienced women explore various parts of their body before discovering orgasm but most women (84%) masturbate by stimulating the clitoris. Yet some women today will still buy G-spot wands and phallic vibrators.[i] There are some sex experts who refer to clitoral stimulation as if it can be directly substituted for vaginal stimulation. They imply that
I thought the few great books I read on the subject you…
I thought the few great books I read on the subject you engage with are enough but reading yours showed me how naive I...
The minimum use of deep penetrations of the vagina in masturbation is…
The minimum use of deep penetrations of the vagina in masturbation is a reflection of the fact that the walls of the vagina itself...
Orgasm techniques
The web shows just what an extraordinary level of interest there is (both from men and women) in suggestions for how a woman can orgasm during sex. Just to give a flavour, here are a few tips from the experts: Don’t worry because orgasm is not that important; Relax a bit more and stop concentrating
Sexuality is about appreciating the human body and sexual anatomy. … It…
Sexuality is about appreciating the human body and sexual anatomy. ... It is also useful to know what kind of stimulation may be pleasurable...
Jane Thomas’ research involves asking women about their experiences of orgasm.
Jane Thomas' research involves asking women about their experiences of orgasm.
While women read romantic novels, men read pornography. While romance packages sex…
While women read romantic novels, men read pornography. While romance packages sex with love, fidelity and marriage, pornography packages sex with violence, possession and...
The degree to which we are able to enjoy our sexuality depends…
The degree to which we are able to enjoy our sexuality depends on the balance between our desire to enjoy sexual pleasure and our...
Asking young women to define female sexuality
Young women are naturally impressed by men’s greater confidence. They are full of romantic illusions and curiosity. They have the inexperience and the optimism of youth. It’s easy for a woman to give a man the pleasure he wants. Young women can’t understand why older women recommend modesty and restraint. They enjoy the novelty of
The possibility of any individual engaging in sexual activity at a rate…
The possibility of any individual engaging in sexual activity at a rate that is remarkably different from one's own, is one of the most...
The greatest thing is the security I feel when I’m in bed…
The greatest thing is the security I feel when I'm in bed with a man. I feel loved and wanted and powerful.
Sometimes it is suggested that a woman stimulates herself once the man…
Sometimes it is suggested that a woman stimulates herself once the man has come. This illustrates the inherent contradiction between the stimulation provided by...
Arousal mechanisms are not unique to one lover
Mental turn-ons (both fantasies and fetishes) are abstract concepts and objects. They are not personalised or limited to one individual. So if a man finds the female breast to be an object of desire then, potentially, he can be aroused by the breasts of any woman (not just those of his lover). Likewise if a
Thank you for sharing with us what you have learned and studied…
Thank you for sharing with us what you have learned and studied and more than happy to keep sharing, we need to open our...
The active incidences of masturbation were lowest in the younger groups, and…
The active incidences of masturbation were lowest in the younger groups, and highest in the older groups of females.
Sexual fantasies
On approaching masturbation, my first task is to identify a fantasy that will arouse me enough to reach orgasm. If I cannot achieve the necessary sexual arousal from fantasy then it makes not a jot of difference how vigorously or for how long I stimulate my clitoris. I know that orgasm is impossible. “However we
Abortion is an issue connected with the freedom women now share with…
Abortion is an issue connected with the freedom women now share with men to be sexually active without the need for a supportive relationship...
Orgasm is a male characteristic. Women are only capable of orgasm because…
Orgasm is a male characteristic. Women are only capable of orgasm because they have a phallus (the clitoris).
Most guys feel like they are always the initiator and that sets…
Most guys feel like they are always the initiator and that sets up disequilibrium on the passion scale in the relationship.