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The misconceptions that arise from pornography
Pornography provides boys with completely unrealistic images of women’s sexuality. The female body is sexualised and objectified (projected in way that causes male arousal). Such images give misleading impressions about women’s sexual willingness and availability. This issue needs to be addressed by sex educators if boys are to have healthy relationships and find emotional happiness.
Most of the female masturbatory techniques are labial, or more often, clitoral….
Most of the female masturbatory techniques are labial, or more often, clitoral. A high proportion of the female homosexual relations similarly depend upon stimulation...
Yes, I like intercourse. I like men, their bodies, and pleasing them.
Yes, I like intercourse. I like men, their bodies, and pleasing them.
Women mistakenly assume that emotional stimuli (such as the sound of a…
Women mistakenly assume that emotional stimuli (such as the sound of a lover's voice, kissing or caressing) cause arousal. But mental arousal depends on...
Women’s need for affection drives regular relationship sex
While women often fail to appreciate the importance men place on eroticism, men seldom appreciate the importance women place on affection. Sex is so much more rewarding for women when they feel affection for their lover. In the early days, a man is more motivated to show his appreciation for a lover by being affectionate.
The testes may seem to hurt when there is unrelieved erotic arousal…
The testes may seem to hurt when there is unrelieved erotic arousal ... Such aches are usually relieved in orgasm because the muscular tensions...
Eroticism
Men and women live in different worlds when it comes to attitudes to eroticism. I suggested that most women today know how to pleasure a man but a British sex expert (male) disagreed: “They haven’t a clue, and even if they knew, most wouldn’t do it.” A joke illustrates the point: “What is the difference
One of the most confusing things about how female sexuality is portrayed…
One of the most confusing things about how female sexuality is portrayed in erotic fiction, is the implication that women achieve orgasm by stimulating...
Let’s put the size issue to one side. Women’s sexual anatomy is…
Let's put the size issue to one side. Women's sexual anatomy is internal and it is only ever tumescent (never rigid like male anatomy).
Approximately 30 percent of women don’t have sexual fantasies. For some, it’s…
Approximately 30 percent of women don’t have sexual fantasies. For some, it’s a vestige of the old notion that fantasy is something only men...
It is easy for a woman to pleasure a man and the…
It is easy for a woman to pleasure a man and the fantasy leads us to assume that it ought to work the other...
Men and women’s perspectives on relationships
Sexuality is about a sexual relationship, which includes social, emotional and sexual aspects. Long-term committed relationships are vital to supporting families over the decades needed to raise children. Men tend to focus on their sexual needs while most women hope for affectionate companionship. Sex education should present the different moral and social issues that are
Among less restrained couples deep kissing is a simultaneous accompaniment of actual…
Among less restrained couples deep kissing is a simultaneous accompaniment of actual coitus, especially at the moment of orgasm.
… there was no correlation with frequency of orgasm: women who did…
… there was no correlation with frequency of orgasm: women who did not orgasm with their partner were just as likely to say they...
Some women get an ego boost from exhibiting their sexuality. In an…
Some women get an ego boost from exhibiting their sexuality. In an attempt to be more convincing, they try to justify their orgasms (which...
Women have sex for emotional (rather than erotic) reasons
Sexual phenomena, such as arousal and orgasm, rely on explicitly adult themes. Anyone, who assumes these phenomena only occur in a relationship [i] with one person, is mistaking the romantic rewards of lovemaking with a loving partner for an erotic response that provides a sexual release. It is often suggested that women enjoy sex. This
Your work matches my lifelong hunches, borne out by my imperfect observation….
Your work matches my lifelong hunches, borne out by my imperfect observation. Your level-headed delivery comes off as helpfully trustworthy & authoritative. Pawel
Many females consider that male genitalia are ugly and repulsive in appearance…
Many females consider that male genitalia are ugly and repulsive in appearance … there seems no doubt that these reactions largely depend upon the...
Physical intimacy
In the film ‘Basic Instinct’ (1992) Michael Douglas, playing the detective, asks Sharon Stone, playing the millionairess, whether she enjoyed having sex with her ex-lover. She replies that she liked having sex with him because he was ‘good with his hands’. Pleasuring a woman is more likely to involve a man using his hands during
Pornography provides boys with completely unrealistic images of women’s sexuality. … This…
Pornography provides boys with completely unrealistic images of women's sexuality. ... This issue needs to be addressed by sex educators if boys are to...
Over decades of sex a woman appreciates a lover who explores sex…
Over decades of sex a woman appreciates a lover who explores sex play beyond intercourse.
In fact, since only about 30 percent of women achieve orgasm with…
In fact, since only about 30 percent of women achieve orgasm with intercourse but over 80 percent experience a climax with masturbation, orgasm by...
Yet many women are shocked by eroticism (whether visual or verbal pornography,…
Yet many women are shocked by eroticism (whether visual or verbal pornography, erotica or the concept of sexual fantasy) and equally shocked by the...
Everyone achieves orgasm in similar ways
Orgasm is a primitive response of the human body. It is achieved through an identical mechanism regardless of gender and orientation. The key characteristics of orgasm include: mental arousal must precede stimulation, stimulation focuses on massaging the blood flow within the corpora cavernosa of the phallus and stimulation ceases once orgasm is achieved. People often
… the restraint of the wife constantly lowers the frequencies (of intercourse)…
... the restraint of the wife constantly lowers the frequencies (of intercourse) in all segments of the population, but chiefly among better educated groups.
Lesbian sex is very different from sex with men. It is not…
Lesbian sex is very different from sex with men. It is not an 'exchange' or a 'trade' ..., it is not something done to...
A woman does not masturbate by replicating the sensations of vaginal penetration…
A woman does not masturbate by replicating the sensations of vaginal penetration (assuming that she is aiming for orgasm). Women orgasm alone by massaging...
Male arousal is acute but female arousal is subconscious
When we look at how men orgasm, it is clear that a man must have an erection before he can attempt orgasm. Only when a man has an erection, does the penis respond (when the shaft is massaged) in such a way as to cause orgasm. This is true regardless of the activity a man
Often our struggles with intimacy are problematic as neither side is open…
Often our struggles with intimacy are problematic as neither side is open to discussing it. Jean Claude
… whenever physical contacts or psychologic stimuli had led to orgasm, there…
... whenever physical contacts or psychologic stimuli had led to orgasm, there was rarely any doubt of the sexual nature of the situation, ......
Emotional intimacy
Enjoying sex for life involves continuing to be thrilled by each other’s company in a broader sense than just sex. It involves demonstrating affection by reacting sensitively to each other’s needs. The physical intimacy of sex (because of its highly personal nature) leads to emotional intimacy where there is trust and respect. Women perhaps focus
Sexuality is about a sexual relationship, which includes social, emotional and sexual…
Sexuality is about a sexual relationship, which includes social, emotional and sexual aspects. Long-term committed relationships are vital to supporting families over the decades...
Why is female orgasm so important to men? Men want to believe…
Why is female orgasm so important to men? Men want to believe that sex involves men doing women a favour - rather than the...
Women’s motivation (or willingness) to have a sexual experience stems from a…
Women’s motivation (or willingness) to have a sexual experience stems from a number of ‘rewards’ or ‘gains’ that are not strictly sexual, these rewards...
Knowledge does not force a person to make certain choices – it…
Knowledge does not force a person to make certain choices - it gives them a choice.
Explaining men and women’s sexual behaviours
Men and women behave very differently in sexual scenarios. Key behaviours include male promiscuity, women’s sexual passivity and women’s focus on relationships. We use behaviours to enhance the way others see us. This has nothing to do with responsiveness. Women use behaviours more than men do. Some people try to enhance the perception others have
There are quite a few individuals, especially of the grade school and…
There are quite a few individuals, especially of the grade school and high school levels, who find more interest in the pursuit and conquest,...
To consider all non-reproductive sexual contact ‘an error of nature’ is a…
To consider all non-reproductive sexual contact 'an error of nature' is a very narrow view.
No one consciously chooses what concepts, body parts or objects cause their…
No one consciously chooses what concepts, body parts or objects cause their arousal. Mental arousal occurs subconsciously or not at all. This aspect of...
Some men expect women to make sex exciting for them
Films use sound effects to indicate a couple having sex off-screen: a regular banging (of a bed against a wall) and the woman’s vocal accompaniment. Such scenes may represent a turn-on for men but it seems to me that men enjoy making female arousal into a tasteless joke. Male fantasies put tremendous pressure on women
You can always count on me, because as a woman I feel…
You can always count on me, because as a woman I feel you're bringing change which is highly needed. Soonitee
It is the constant complaint of married females that their husbands are…
It is the constant complaint of married females that their husbands are … primarily concerned with genital stimulation … It is the constant complaint...
Spice up your sex life
A young woman, who had promised her father that she would remain a virgin until a certain age, complied with his request by having anal sex with her partners (Note: STD protection and contraceptives still required). Unsurprisingly, she was very popular with men who tend not to be so hung-up about breaking sexual taboos. To
By contrast women, including lesbians, enjoy more sensual whole-body and emotional pleasures…
By contrast women, including lesbians, enjoy more sensual whole-body and emotional pleasures with a lover because of their lack of arousal.
Jane Thomas asks: is sex drive about our motivation to reproduce or…
Jane Thomas asks: is sex drive about our motivation to reproduce or to experience orgasm?
We have lots of expectations about how relationships are ‘supposed’ to look….
We have lots of expectations about how relationships are ‘supposed’ to look. Many times, this fairy-tale model doesn’t mimic our lives or our realities.
Some women appear to be so sheltered from the world of adult…
Some women appear to be so sheltered from the world of adult eroticism that one wonders if they have ever experienced sexual urges of...
Sexual behaviours compensate for responsiveness
We cannot start to understand sexuality unless we differentiate between responsiveness and conscious behaviours . For the most part, our minds and bodies function in similar ways regardless of sex or orientation. We cannot control the level of our sex drive, the erotic stimuli that cause our arousal and the frequency with which we orgasm.
Sometimes the dreamer is a participant in the activities, and sometimes the…
Sometimes the dreamer is a participant in the activities, and sometimes the dreamer does not participate but merely observes.
My feeling is that I would consider sucking a cock with a…
My feeling is that I would consider sucking a cock with a loaded gun at my head. No other way.
What strikes me as odd is that the only evidence men seek…
What strikes me as odd is that the only evidence men seek of female responsiveness is that women should be enthusiastic about intercourse. Surely...
Women have more reason to invest in a loving relationship
Young women cannot possibly imagine the challenge of a sexual relationship spanning decades. They experience sex through spontaneous and romantic interludes. Long-term relationships take effort on both sides. They are not a whirlwind of sexual passion from beginning to end. A man enjoys sexual activity most with a lover who assumes a proactive role in
It’s important work that your doing, both for women and for those…
It's important work that your doing, both for women and for those people who love them, myself included. Dave
Most males are likely to approach females as they, the males, would…
Most males are likely to approach females as they, the males, would like to be approached by a sexual partner. They are likely to...
How to pleasure a man
Tracy Cox (author of ‘Hot Sex’ 1998) tells the story of a woman who welcomes her partner home wearing a sexy nightdress, with champagne by the bed and a pornographic movie ready to play. If she does this regularly over the longer term then I take my hat off to her! Her partner is a
Regardless of orientation, men orgasm through intercourse, masturbation and fellatio. A man’s…
Regardless of orientation, men orgasm through intercourse, masturbation and fellatio. A man's arousal (in the form of an erection) also gives him a clear...
Men experience sexual love based on their own physical gratification. Women experience…
Men experience sexual love based on their own physical gratification. Women experience nurturing love.
There are a lot of people out there pretending to be sex…
There are a lot of people out there pretending to be sex experts. Everyone seems to think they are an expert.
Rather like climbing up the steps of a slide in order to…
Rather like climbing up the steps of a slide in order to enjoy slipping down the other side, it seems unlikely that even women...
Misunderstandings over how orgasm is achieved
The issue of female orgasm with a lover is at the core of sexual politics. Men want to feel valued as lovers. Women want to keep men happy in bed so they get other things in exchange such as love, support and companionship. The confusion over female orgasm is down to two main factors. Firstly
Over 99 per cent of the males who go to college have…
Over 99 per cent of the males who go to college have nocturnal emissions at some time in their lives, but only 85 per...
Staggeringly uniformed. The more confident they (men) are of their sexual prowess…
Staggeringly uniformed. The more confident they (men) are of their sexual prowess and the effectiveness of their techniques, the more ignorant they seem to...
Male and female masturbation techniques are similar in that men and women…
Male and female masturbation techniques are similar in that men and women massage the body of the phallus, which contains the corpora cavernosa. The...
The penis is an external organ but the clitoris is internal
The clitoris is the equivalent organ to the penis. They both develop from the genital tubercle in the foetus. The suggestion is that the two organs respond identically in the same scenarios (masturbation, intercourse and oral sex). Yet the penis is always stimulated directly. The clitoral organ is supposedly prodded through the walls of the
Wow!!!! You are amazing! On target and right to the point!!! People…
Wow!!!! You are amazing! On target and right to the point!!! People struggle and they don't know where to turn for help. This is...
The physical contacts between females in the homosexual relations had often depended…
The physical contacts between females in the homosexual relations had often depended on little more than simple lip kissing and generalised body contacts.
Some women do explore sexual pleasure
Slowly attitudes to sexual pleasure are changing and more couples are approaching their sex life with a willingness to try activities other than vaginal intercourse. Basically, if you are struggling with lack of arousal during sex and genuinely want to share your own arousal with a partner then you will need to be prepared to
The issue of female orgasm with a lover is at the core…
The issue of female orgasm with a lover is at the core of sexual politics. Men want to feel valued as lovers. Women want...
Unlike men, most women are looking for a loving relationship rather than…
Unlike men, most women are looking for a loving relationship rather than sex per se. They need an emotional connection.
Considering the number of women who have sex regularly, the number of…
Considering the number of women who have sex regularly, the number of orgasms they report having is shockingly low.
It is really quite disturbing that young women today are so unaware…
It is really quite disturbing that young women today are so unaware of the facts about male sex drive. Every man knows that past...
Women have varying degrees of sexual willingness
Human beings are sociable animals. Most of us want to be accepted in our social group. We want to share experiences. We hope to enjoy the company of others. We are reassured by the support of family, friends and a lover. It is also a survival strategy because humans tend to attack those who are
There are males who never masturbate. There are a few males who…
There are males who never masturbate. There are a few males who masturbate only one or twice in their lives; and there are others...
Sex is intimate physical activity for pleasure, to share pleasure with another…
Sex is intimate physical activity for pleasure, to share pleasure with another person (or just alone).
No boy reaches puberty and consciously decides to be aroused by girls….
No boy reaches puberty and consciously decides to be aroused by girls. It just happens. If it doesn't, he may have a very low...
Women’s talk of orgasm does not lead to more sex for men
Ironically (because only male responsiveness declines with age) women are often more sexually active when younger. Once a woman has children, she is much less motivated by sex. Women are more confident about admitting that intercourse does not cause orgasm as they age, by acquiring status or wealth or through education. Women today say they
Thanks Jane, I appreciate learning the facts even though they seem somehow…
Thanks Jane, I appreciate learning the facts even though they seem somehow harsh to swallow. Hugs Jose
In the sample of single females, a high proportion (51%) of those…
In the sample of single females, a high proportion (51%) of those who had had any homosexual experience had had it with only a...
Sharing physical intimacy with a partner
I always enjoyed sharing physical intimacy with a lover but this is very different to achieving my own sexual arousal. I always knew that true sexual arousal was missing because I was familiar with orgasm from the very first time that I had sex. Very few women discover female masturbation so early in their life. From
Confusingly, for men, the women who are shouting loudest about female orgasm…
Confusingly, for men, the women who are shouting loudest about female orgasm are the ones who have no idea how it is achieved. But...
Porno orgasms (intercourse, oral sex etc.) involve different female anatomy because men…
Porno orgasms (intercourse, oral sex etc.) involve different female anatomy because men stimulate the body parts that arouse them.
Just as a man forgets feelings, a woman forgets her sensual desires…
Just as a man forgets feelings, a woman forgets her sensual desires and longings. The practicalities of day-to-day survival and living take precedence over...
Even if a woman wanted to be honest, she still has the…
Even if a woman wanted to be honest, she still has the problem of how to respond during sex. Men want a partner to...
Women are often disappointed with casual sex
We are all living longer due to improved health and lifestyles. So ‘til death do us part’ is much longer than it used to be centuries ago. Some couples like the idea that they are not bound solely to each other for decades. For most couples this is not an option and adultery is a
When she fails to be interested in sexual relations with her husband,…
When she fails to be interested in sexual relations with her husband, when she is less interested than he is, when she refuses to...
My greatest displeasure is feeling myself to be simply a substitute for…
My greatest displeasure is feeling myself to be simply a substitute for his hand, a dish of mashed potatoes, or any warm place he...
Some women mislead men into believing that they are satisfied either to…
Some women mislead men into believing that they are satisfied either to end sex sooner or to satisfy a man's need to feel that...
The idea that women are naturally aroused with a lover
Jane’s slides on ‘Relationship Sex’ help explain female arousal. The very first time I had sex, I knew that something was up. I felt absolutely nothing. I just lay there wondering what was going on until my partner had finished. I concluded the whole thing was a hoax. But because of the ignorance in our
Your fact based researches & deep knowledge about human sexuality has been…
Your fact based researches & deep knowledge about human sexuality has been of genuine benefit to many folks, which luckily I happened to be...
… between 36 and 44 per cent of the females …had responded…
... between 36 and 44 per cent of the females ...had responded to orgasm in a part ... of their coitus in marriage. About...
Women who want to enjoy sexual pleasure
When I was growing up there was never any embarrassment over nudity at home. As divorcees, my parents naturally enjoyed sexual relationships with various partners from time to time. So I have never seen any reason why I should not enjoy the same easy sexual arousal and orgasm apparently promised by erotic fiction. Especially since