Emma: I am a psychotherapist with a psychospiritual approach. I have long been interested in my own experience of orgasm. I have a particular way of climaxing in a very powerful way and I would very much like to understand in the first instance what actually happens in my body to make this happen. Emma (cont): I would love to explore this in some depth as I don’t climax with my partner during intercourse. I would like to meet an expert in orgasm to discuss this but don’t know who to turn to. Before I take this further may I ask what your professional qualifications are ? JANE: You are welcome to describe your experience to me. I must warn you though that I view orgasm as an erotic experience not a spiritual one. We may not agree on what sexual response (arousal & orgasm) involves. Emma: It has been many years since I opened up this subject as it is has been hard to find anyone to talk to about it. Let’s not worry about the spiritual aspect and focus on the biological mechanics. I first had an orgasm when I was at primary school. I noticed, aged 8, that when I climbed a gym rope, I felt a drawing in and upwards of my uterus that resulted in climax. Emma (cont): I used the banister at home to continue the experience. By putting my arms over the top of a flat part of a banister and wrapping my legs around the pole and pulling myself up, I got the same deep inner climax. The more I pulled inwards and upwards, the greater the climax. Emma (cont): I use my muscles in my uterus to do the pulling. It is a deep inner strong muscular feeling which is powerful and pleasurable. Clitoral stimulation seems much less intense. My husband and I have tried to recreate this inner pull during intercourse but it hard to do. I wonder whether the strength of my uterine muscles have strengthened over time causing the need to draw in so hard? Emma (cont): I wonder if other women experience this. I am fascinated about the mechanics of this drawing upwards to create the orgasm. I would appreciate learning more about the physical aspects of this climax and get some tips on how it could be introduced into my sex life. It feels selfsufficient to climax in this way and in fact a bit lonely. JANE: I am a freelance researcher. My qualifications are that I can explain how orgasm is achieved. It is not achieved in the ways porno actresses behave for example. My conclusion is that women are very lucky if they orgasm at all. Little girls do not orgasm because they lack the adult fantasies required for arousal. JANE (cont): You dont mention erotic turnons. Orgasm is the result of releasing tension caused by a buildup in mental arousal that occurs when we respond to eroticism. The physical stimulation involved in female orgasm comes from pressing down rhythmically either side of the labia and simultaneously clenching the buttocks. This thrusting movement emulates the male in intercourse. JANE (cont): Without any erotic stimulation, I would not count your experience as an orgasm. The uterus is a muscular organ but a woman cannot consciously control the uterus even during childbirth. Orgasm is about what happens in the mind. Masturbation to orgasm depends on an adults ability to generate sufficient mental arousal. Emma: So what do you think is happening then in my case? It is not without erotic thought. I am now 47 so obviously my masturbation has developed with fantasy. In terms of your analysis, does the physicality sound normal to you? I have the greatest physical sensation through masturbation and not sex. I wonder how that leaves my forward development in my sex life? JANE: Intercourse does not facilitate female orgasm. It is a lovemaking act and demonstration of male virility. A woman would have to orgasm within the timeframe set by her partner every time. This is not possible. The clitoris is the female sex organ and the clitoris is not stimulated by intercourse. JANE (cont): I am sure that your experience is quite normal. I have heard of similar from other women. I just doubt that it is what men call orgasm. Sex in all forms is primarily a male pleasure. You can still have fun if you keep some variety in your sex play and try new approaches. Celebrating our ability to enjoy eroticism