Maggie: My marriage has been really hard, but I can’t even express how grateful I am to have a husband who seriously cares about my sexual satisfaction. I’ve learned so much about my own body with him. He makes no assumptions and asks questions. He’s a gem. JANE: I don’t believe women are aroused with a lover. No one can name any female erotic turnons. Women obtain emotional rewards with a loving partner. But also women’s sexual passivity is clear evidence of a lack of arousal. Men are proactive lovers because of their erotic arousal. Maggie: I see what you’re saying and I cannot fully disagree, though I also likely don’t understand what you’re saying yet. It’s definitely a choice when I’m aroused. What does it mean when you say that there are no female erotic turnons? My knee jerk reaction is to disagree with you, but I think I’m missing something. Would you mind elaborating? JANE: Men are aroused psychologically by explicit erotic concepts or objects. A woman can put on a short skirt, show her cleavage or fake orgasm to arouse a man. How are women aroused psychologically with a lover? What erotic turnons can a man provide to help a woman orgasm? What body parts arouse women? Maggie: Ok, next: When my husband kisses me passionately I feel aroused. When I feel aroused it is easier to orgasm and my orgasms are more intense. I consider that a physiological turnon. JANE: Passionate kissing is not an erotic turnon. Erotic means stimuli associated with the genitals, sexual attributes or sexual activity. Kissing is an emotional stimulus with a loving partner. Women mistake emotional sensations for orgasm with a lover because they are told orgasm is common. Maggie: So my question is, what am I still misunderstanding? JANE: Women offer sex to a loving partner. They do not pay for sex because women look for emotional rewards that cannot be purchased. Orgasm is an instinctive response to eroticism involving rhythmic massaging of the sex organ. Research indicates that women orgasm by masturbating alone. Maggie: All of that makes sense and gives me lots to think about. Celebrating our ability to enjoy eroticism