Rachel: I am a woman who is transgender. Very late in life, just a few years ago, I discovered hormone replacement therapy and it was life changing. My mind and body are comfortable when estrogen is my dominant sex hormone, whereas I was miserable when testosterone was primary. The physical changes were dramatic and welcome, too. Rachel (cont): Within a couple of years my body had redeveloped along feminine lines. I followed the advice of therapists and discovered that I was far more comfortable existing in the world as female, so I changed my name and gender legally. Although I live in a conservative, rural area in Idaho, my daily experience in the community is positive. Although family and close friends know I was once someone else, the community simply knows me as a woman. Rachel (cont): I also welcomed the changes to my sexual function. I am bisexual, though most of my partners have been women. I’m married to a woman, a wonderful, supportive person who knew me pretransition. Our sexual relationship has had to transition as my body has changed. It’s been very challenging but has drawn us much closer. One of the bits of wisdom she’s imparted is that it’s very important for me to know my own body, to learn and know my own arousal and orgasm. Something I need to explore and learn on my own. Rachel (cont): Hormone therapy soon eliminated spontaneous erections. I was not capable of penetrative sex any longer, and my penis became much smaller and much more sensitive. Arousal changed from something spontaneous to deliberate, something I could seek when I chose. Orgasm became much less intense and it’s difficult to describe the difference. More of a release than a rush with no ejaculation. Arousal was a choice and something I didn’t seek that often, as my libido also became very low. Rachel (cont): I took another step a few months ago, a vaginoplasty. I don’t feel wow, I’m so different, it’s more, yes, this is me, this is right. I have inner and outer labia, urethral and vaginal opening, clitoris and clitoral hood. I know my parts, but I’m not intimately acquainted. I have to learn what feels good, but also how my mood and the space I’m in affects my arousal and response. There are no familiar patterns to use for self exploration. I have to find what arouses me and how to achieve orgasm. Rachel (cont): I am excited to find the resources you’ve put together. Knowing my body feels like something I must pursue. It feels like I need to take charge of my orgasm if I’m to achieve orgasm? I’m looking for the intimacy this brings to a relationship. I was never a person who enjoyed sex without an emotional bond and commitment. I have to trust and feel safe with my partner. I’m looking forward to reading and applying your advice as well as discovering this new body and chance at life I’ve been offered. JANE: You are talking about how you relate to gender stereotypes. I assume that you have very low sexual responsiveness, if you identify with women’s sexual passivity. My work focuses on sexual response which is determined by birth sex. In that respect you are categorised as male. Some men have very low orgasm frequencies but the male mind still works very differently to the female mind. I’m not sure how useful you will find my research. But all my content is available for free to those who want to inform themselves. Rachel: An interesting response and I thank you. I have already found your research quite helpful, as my mind does seem to follow the female patterns which you describe. Prior to transition, I had a high libido and high orgasm frequencies. Having now a low libido and low orgasm frequencies is not unwelcome (I don’t feel any frustration), but it’s been a dramatic and interesting shift. Thank you again for the resources, both the mental approach and the physical techniques look really helpful so far. An interesting & fun way to learn about sexuality for all