HomeWomen's sexualityReproductionWomen’s sexuality includes providing male erotic turn-ons

Women’s sexuality includes providing male erotic turn-ons

The intense focus on women’s bodies means that girls as young as five aspire to the sexual attributes and wardrobe of a Barbie doll. Teenage girls starve themselves and few women are willing to appear in public without wearing make-up, provocative lingerie and without waxing their legs. It is reassuring to be admired by a lover. Women enhance their femininity by emphasising their vulnerability so that a man will provide for them. Men, on the other hand, enhance their masculinity by projecting an image of competency so that women will look to them for protection and support.

Women display their bodies to gain approval from others. This behaviour is misunderstood by men who assume that a woman’s conscious behaviour (to present herself in a provocative manner) reflects a subconscious response [i] (of being aroused and motivated to engage in intercourse). Assertive individuals do not look to others for confirmation of their personal worth. Men approach sex more interested in the pleasure they hope to enjoy rather than how they might arouse a lover. A man doesn’t need to dress or behave in a certain way to indicate his willingness to engage in sex because his erection makes his acute arousal very evident to a sexual partner.

Anyone who has an interest in enjoying their own orgasm is motivated to seek out sources of eroticism to assist with their arousal. Male arousal is easily achieved. Men are the ‘birds and the bees’ and women the flowers (honey pot) that draw them in. In a symbiotic relationship it is meaningless to ascribe more importance to either role because reproduction depends on both. So just as the penis is often much larger than is required for the purposes of impregnating a female, the breasts are often much larger than is needed to sustain an infant. The breasts, as the key external anatomy that differentiates women from men, have evolved to become more noticeable.

In the absence of arousal with a lover, a woman is more likely to direct her sexual investment towards providing some male turn-ons (such as enhancing her looks or displaying her body) to assist with male orgasm. Only some women (who are influenced by erotic fiction) assume the role of the proactive female lover who acts out male fantasies enthusiastically. Women act in this provocative way not because they have a sex drive to orgasm with a lover. Nor are they aroused as men are. This behaviour reflects an emotional drive. Women provide erotic turn-ons to signal their willingness to engage in emotional bonding activity. These sexual behaviours are a vital and enjoyable part of the whole picture of human sexuality.

[i] … commercial exhibitions of female nudity … are taken by many of the males in the audience to indicate that the exhibiting females are tremendously aroused. Most of the females … were highly disdainful of males who could so easily be misled … (Alfred Kinsey)

Excerpt from Women’s Sexual Behaviours & Responses (ISBN 978-0956-894717)