HomeWomen's sexualityReproductionWomen are not spontaneously aroused as men tend to be

Women are not spontaneously aroused as men tend to be

Men are easily aroused because their minds frequently focus on sexual opportunities. Nudity (especially a genital display) triggers the male brain to anticipate a potential opportunity for intercourse. Women are not mentally aroused with a lover so they do not respond to physical stimulation.[i]

Misconception #2: Because of the male experience, it is incorrectly assumed that women are aroused by genitals and intercourse. Women have no reason to be permanently aroused and capable of being stimulated to orgasm. Equally women have no need to be aroused by nudity.

We can deduce male turn-ons from pornography and prostitution, which (because men pay for these) are evidently aimed at male gratification. But given the lack of female equivalents it is difficult to deduce how women enjoy sexual gratification as opposed to lovemaking within a relationship. Some men enjoy watching lesbian women stimulating each other because they find such images a turn-on. If women responded in the same way then they would be just as fascinated to observe male masturbation and male homosexual erotica for its portrayal of the male genitalia and responses.

Female modesty arises because women learn that nudity (especially a display of genitals) is highly suggestive to men. Men can urinate by the side of the road without causing a traffic accident but it would be a very different story if a woman tried to do the same. Men interpret any public display of nudity as a sexual invitation. Women clearly do not respond in this way.

Some women claim to be aroused by sexual activity. Yet women are offended by visual portrayals of sex. Most women refer to lovemaking as a way of avoiding the use of explicit sexual vocabulary. Everything about sex (hairy skin, earthy smells and body fluids) is unappealing to women. Some women claim to be aroused by a lover’s genitals. But if women were aroused by their lover’s genitals, they would be aroused by the genitals of other men. Also men would display their bodies for female admiration.

Men assume that women are aroused (to the point of orgasm) by the prospect of sexual activity and consequently that they respond to physical stimulation. Women’s use of fantasies alone softens the graphic impact of sexual activity. Even responsive women never reach a state where orgasm becomes inevitable. Neither do they ever experience the need to resolve a state of mental arousal or the physical tension of tumescence as orgasm. Female orgasm is an evolutionary hangover and is consequently very rare.

[i] The average male is aroused in anticipation of a sexual relationship, and he usually … is ready to proceed directly to orgasm as soon as or even before he makes any actual contact. The average female, on the contrary, is less often aroused by such anticipation, and sometimes she does not begin to respond until there has been a considerable amount of physical stimulation. (Alfred Kinsey)

Excerpt from Women’s Sexual Behaviours & Responses (ISBN 978-0956-894717)