Most men masturbate at least when they are adolescent so they assume that women must have a similar experience. Men never seem to notice that women do not welcome images of male genitals nor are they willing to watch portrayals of sexual activity. Women never refer to the erotic turn-ons that might cause their arousal nor can they specify the anatomy involved in orgasm. Contrary to popular beliefs, female masturbation and orgasm are rare. Female responsiveness is presumably the result of a recessive gene. Perhaps it is a random genetic characteristic that affects very few women and can be compared with the one that causes homosexuality.
Female responsiveness is difficult to estimate given its highly sporadic nature. I masturbate for a few days in a row, often morning and evening. Then I don’t masturbate for weeks. Kinsey found women masturbated to orgasm on average once every 2 to 3 weeks. My averages (based on my memory) are not so different to this finding, which is an amazing coincidence because his statistics included women who masturbate without ever achieving orgasm. The overall orgasm frequencies for women, including those who mistake with a lover, were higher than those for masturbation. [i]
The research into female orgasm, clearly indicates that women are much more confident of achieving orgasm when they are alone. The reasons for this are never explained. My own explanation includes:
- Orgasm is a vital aspect of male reproductive function.
- Women are only capable of orgasm because they have a phallus.
- Women are not consciously aware of the internal clitoral organ.
- Responsiveness depends on the brain responding to eroticism.
- Women have no conscious awareness of erotic arousal.
- Very few women are responsive enough to discover orgasm.
- Responsive women use fantasy to generate arousal when alone.
- To obtain the intensity of mental focus a woman must be alone.
- The instinctive stimulation is incompatible with sociable activity.
Kinsey’s work was ignored for a number of reasons. He provided considerable evidence to show that female orgasm is associated with masturbation alone. Kinsey talked about sexual activity explicitly, which is shocking to many people (especially women). Finally, no one was willing to accept Kinsey’s conclusion that women are much less responsive than men. The belief in female orgasm justifies women’s participation in sexual activity that pleasures men. But also women enjoy being attractive to men.
[i] The frequencies of orgasm … had stayed more or less on a level from the youngest to the oldest age group. The median females in the active sample had averaged one orgasm in two weeks (0.5 per week) … (Alfred Kinsey)
Excerpt from ‘Understanding Sexual Response’ (to be published 2023)