Smiley: What is your take on the womens perception of sex before and after getting married? Why the abrupt apparent decrease in desire? Or is something else going on? JANE: Women experience neither sex drive nor arousal with a lover. Socalled sexual desire involves women’s willingness to offer sex, which incentivises a man to commit to a relationship. Sex is primarily a male pleasure. A woman obtains emotional rewards elsewhere in the relationship. Smiley: Is there more to it? Maybe the woman gets off on just being desired? This would explain the flings that married women engage in which have no chance of commitment. JANE: Women are primarily looking for a relationship. Sex comes as a consequence. A woman wants to feel respected & admired. If a man’s only interest in her is sex, she feels unappreciated. A woman wants communication about feelings & a man to share his life with her. Men often don’t. Bob: Really? That is sad JANE: Only sad from the male perspective. Women want to feel loved & appreciated. As the receiver of intercourse, they don’t experience any erotic pleasure only the emotional pleasure of pleasing a lover. But women do enjoy the more romantic, companionable aspects of relationships. Celebrating our ability to enjoy eroticism