JANE: Biologically and hormonally, men are MUCH MORE driven to be sexual than women are. (John Gray) Catherine: I would contest (or add to) John Gray’s assertion that there is a difference that is rooted in biology and hormones. It seems to excuse behaviours that are under voluntary control. Catherine (cont): We need also to consider the influences of socialisation and stigma (e.g. slut shaming of women’s behaviour when similar actions by men might be considered acceptable). These govern & shape what behaviours are perceived as socially acceptable. Catherine (cont): It would be helpful to look at the literature around dating apps and who (which gender) makes the first move/communication because in this context, it can be reasonably assumed that everyone using the dating app is looking for a date, yet dating behaviour remains gendered. JANE: Many men, especially when young, experience a strong, almost irresistible urge to engage in intercourse with a woman they are attracted to. It has nothing to do with a relationship. It is about sex drive and responsiveness a mental response to eroticism. It is impossible for a woman to imagine how this works given we are not aroused by real world erotic triggers. JANE (cont): Women are looking for a relationship rather than for sex itself. Men are never sluts because men are consistently sexually willing. Women are shamed for promiscuity because most people accept that women don’t need sex in the way that men do. A woman just lies there while a man thrusts into her vagina. She is simply a receptacle for male ejaculate. There is little skill involved and no responsiveness. JANE (cont): Even men dont respect this role. They see their own role as the penetrating male as being much more significant. The male has to obtain intercourse against considerable opposition from the female. Hence he views intercourse as a male conquest. The male has won something just as the female has lost something. Call it honour or selfrespect that comes from the subjugated female role. JANE (cont): It is incredible that so many women, including sexologists, do not accept that men have a drive to engage in intercourse. But I suppose that it is no more incredible than the number of men, including sexologists, who believe that women are just as responsive as men. Each sex assumes that the other sex responds sexually just as they do themselves. Dedicated to womens enjoyment of sexual pleasure