Aliyah: My husband has always asked what gives me pleasure, inside & out of the bedroom, knowing both are important. A loving, caring, thoughtful partner is a true blessing. JANE: These are emotional stimuli. Orgasm arises from the brains response to eroticism. Orgasm is only possible once a person is mentally aroused. Research indicates that female orgasm occurs when women masturbate alone. Sex is a lovemaking act for a woman! Aliyah: You are assuming I was referring only to emotional stimuli because I didn’t share details. Sex happens to be emotional, loving, spiritual & erotic for hubby & I both, in differing degrees depending on the moment & our moods. JANE: Male orgasm relies on erotic turnons that cause mental arousal. Women are not aroused as men are. Men do not enjoy the same rewards from romance, affection and platonic love. Aliyah: Sex can be an emotional experience for men, too. And certainly, men & women are aroused differently emotionally & physiologically. But there are women who’ve had orgasms during intercourse, too, depending on how she and/or her partner stimulates her. JANE: It is simply not possible for a woman to orgasm through intercourse. The stimulation of intercourse relies 100% on male responses. A woman cannot control how long this stimulation lasts. Stimulation needs to continue to the point of orgasm and then stop. Aliyah: Perhaps not through the stimulation of intercourse alone. Fine. Doesn’t mean there aren’t ways to stimulate herself to orgasm during intercourse, though, if that’s something she really wants. So, I’m the odd one out then as I find intercourse very stimulating indeed. JANE: The vagina (like all internal organs of the body) is inert. If the answer to female orgasm was just physical stimulation, couples would have discovered it eons ago. Sexual response is instinctive it does not rely on being told what to stimulate. Aliyah: No one can orgasm in time with another’s responsiveness & I never suggested that. As a sexual abuse survivor, whose claims were dismissed by her own mother, I am upset that you are talking at me, not with me. My knowledge of sexual function comes from my university education in health sciences so I understand sexual physiology. Female orgasm through intercourse alone is a male fantasy. I’ve not disagreed with that. I’m trying to communicate that orgasm during intercourse is possible if there is ongoing manual stimulation. Have I not been clear? JANE: What is the point of stimulating the clitoral glans (wrong anatomy) with a lover when a woman can stimulate herself much more easily when a man is not thrusting into her vagina? Anyone can claim to orgasm. Men talk about turnons. Women always talk about the relationship and emotional factors. If you don’t masturbate, you do not know what an orgasm is. Aliyah: Fortunately, I happen to know, from personal experience, what an orgasm is. I am fully aware that the clitoris is a woman’s primary sexual organ. I’ve also had orgasms during intercourse. No one is talking about simultaneous orgasm. But with stop/start intercourse, manual/oral stimulation, a woman can orgasm with continuing stimulation (by him or herself) while her partner is inside her, if that is what she/they want. Not impossible. JANE: What you are claiming is impossible. Intercourse is the lovemaking act because of mens sex drive. Women are not aroused with a lover. No one can name any female erotic turnons. If women could orgasm with a lover, Kinsey would not have needed to tell us about the clitoris. Celebrating our ability to enjoy eroticism