Richard: I give sensual massage to both men and women and certainly the responses and dynamic are quite different between the sexes. Men certainly love sex and consistently look for sexual satisfaction but Richard (cont): I dont agree that this always has to be through penetration. Hand or oral for many men, if given with authenticity, can be as good as penetration. Its the orgasm or ejaculation we seek not just the act of taking a female. JANE: I am not saying that men cant enjoy orgasm in other ways. Its just that other activities are considered to be a leadin rather than the key focus to sexual activity. Your work involves providing specific stimulation and exploring outside intercourse by definition. JANE (cont): Women are not aroused by stimulating a lovers genitals so men are likely to come to you looking for something that is missing from their sex lives. I am talking about what the average couple does routinely in bed every week (hopefully!). JANE (cont): Heterosexuality is not just defined by male responses. The fact that women are much less responsive (especially with a partner) explains why they behave passively in sex and why they accept vaginal penetration it is much less work than offering more explicit genital stimulation (by hand or by mouth). Richard: Yes I agree that most men irrespective of sexuality ultimately seek penetrative sex but for many there seems to be a happy trade off particularly as they get older (i.e. over 35) and particularly those that enjoy massage. Richard (cont): To be able to experience a period of intense intimate tactile touching (foreplay) followed by gradual hand masturbation to orgasm can be as good or even better than orgasm by penetration. Richard (cont): Certainly it is less exhausting and often provides the man a stronger, deeper and longer orgasm (the ability to be more selffocussed). Richard (cont): This is why I think so many heterosexual and bicurious men who generally have penetrative sex with women are discovering and enjoying an erotic massage given by another man where there is no penetration at all apart from maybe anal stimulation. JANE: Men, no doubt, look for other pleasures when they pay for sex (e.g. many wives do not offer oral sex), but with their wives they expect regular intercourse. JANE (cont): This explains why female sexual dysfunction is defined in terms of intercourse rather than whether a woman can achieve orgasm. JANE (cont): Womens role in providing men with sexual pleasure (even if it is only intercourse) is much more vital to men and women (who want to keep their partners happy) than womens true ability to orgasm. Dedicated to womens enjoyment of sexual pleasure