JANE: Women dont tend to ask nor will they always allow a lover to stimulate their genitalia, which is no evidence of pleasure let alone orgasm. Katie : I can honestly say this is not the case with me. You must ask your partner for what you want. I expect the same in return too. JANE: What do you want & why? Do you define arousal in terms of emotional rewards? Do you masturbate? What erotic turnons cause your arousal? What anatomy are you stimulating both alone & with a lover? Can you be more explicit? Katie: I have no problem asking my boyfriend to do what I want him to. If I want him to stimulate my clitoris, I will ask him. I will ask him to go down on me or to use his fingers in a particular way. Katie (cont): He likes being asked or told what to do as he wants me to achieve orgasm. I never orgasm through penetration so foreplay or masturbation is important to me JANE: Are you talking about stimulation of the clitoral glans with a lover? Is this how you masturbate yourself? The clitoral glans lacks the erectile tissue that would cause orgasm. JANE (cont): But more importantly, without mental arousal, physical stimulation is ineffective. Are you just enjoying sensual pleasure? This is certainly the case with cunnilingus. Katie: Porn helps, but I generally prefer to use my own imagination. Sometimes just need a kick start. JANE: What specifically turns you on enough to reach orgasm? Why do women never refer to erotic turnons? How does masturbation compare to being with a lover? You seem reluctant to answer questions. Ingrid: Sex toys can certainly be stimulating!!! You just have to talk openly about it with your partner!!! JANE: Physical stimulation of the genitals is ineffective where there is no mental arousal. What erotic turnons do you use alone or with a lover to achieve arousal? Why do you need a partner to provide the stimulation? Do you masturbate? Ingrid: Of course…use your Imagination…what else is there to ask?? JANE: Given women’s silence over sexual issues & their reluctance to be specific about sexual response, there are hundreds of questions that are never answered. You seem to be simply copying Katie’s responses. If you were having orgasms, you would be able to name specific turnons. JANE (cont): You are not helping the understand female sexuality if you boast about orgasm. There is a huge amount of hype & deceit surrounding female sexual response. Orgasm is a specific response of the mind & body. We know what causes our arousal & what anatomy we stimulate to achieve orgasm. An interesting & fun way to learn about sexuality for all