JANE: Very few women appear to understand that orgasm is fundamentally a response of the brain to eroticism that causes blood to flow to the genitals & makes orgasm possible. No arousal = no orgasm. Simple facts of life! Fantasy of some kind is essential… Afrodita: Totally agree. I always use fantasy or memories to masturbate myself. And when I’m with a partner that really likes me, but can’t focus on what we are doing or what I’m expecting, I can’t orgasm. No matter what he does. The brain is crucial. JANE: My fantasies do not work with a lover. That is because I need to focus 100% on my fantasy to orgasm. Also the position I use (on my front) is incompatible with sex. I am interested in whether other women achieve orgasm with a lover &, if so, how. I have found this to be impossible. Very few women are willing to discuss orgasm. Afrodita: With a lover, vaginal intercourse never works for me. I can orgasm when we masturbate each other or when doing anal penetration together with he/me masturbate myself. I’m face down in bed and he is on me rubbing my clitoris. Anal sex is not based on hard penetration. It’s more about massaging the entrance. I like to control this by playing with his penis. Afrodita (cont): I always masturbate myself face down. With my husband, we masturbate each other, laying on one side, facing each other & I easily orgasm. We are swingers, so I have sex with other men. But it’s almost impossible to orgasm with them, as they don’t know my body so well. But I enjoy sex anyway. Orgasm is not the goal. On your front means that you are lying on your stomach, right? That’s how I always do it alone. JANE: Yes but what do you think about? I need to be 100% immersed in my fantasy. Even the presence of a lover makes it impossible. Also how do you stimulate the clitoris? Do you mean the glans? The glans does not have erectile tissue. Orgasm is fundamentally a response to eroticism. But there is nothing erotic about intercourse for a woman. Indeed, sexual activity in reality is not arousing. This is why women do not use porn as men do. If reality worked, porn would too. JANE (cont): Why do you masturbate on your front? If you are stimulating the glans then it doesn’t matter what position you use. I am pressing down into the internal clitoral organ & thrusting forward with my hips. I am essentially emulating the male role in intercourse. This is also in line with my fantasies that focus on the male ejaculating. Nothing to do with being the receiver of intercourse, which is nonerotic. JANE (cont): Look it is very obvious that you are male. Perhaps you have read some of my articles. But you are not helping by pretending to be a woman. Women do not refer to their anus any more than they do to their other ‘private parts’. Nor are these reasonable ways for a woman to orgasm. Men have a prostate gland that may cause instantaneous ejaculation but it is inside the rectum not in the entrance. Women have nothing that would cause orgasm by stimulating the anus. Celebrating our ability to enjoy eroticism