Vikram:I have been married for 16 years and blessed with 2 kids. Ours is a love marriage, without our parents consent. From the start, my wife was reluctant to have sex. Vikram (cont):I asked my sisterinlaw to help persuade my wife to have sex with me. That’s when my elder son was born. Within a year, she returned to her normal self, avoiding sex with me. I tried to understand her issues. Vikram (cont):But she just said I am happy with you, just not interested in sex. I have relied on selfsatisfaction. But now, I feel in need of sex very badly. Would it be ok for me to have sex with another woman? Looking forward to your guidance… JANE:Vikram, yours is a common problem. Sex is primarily a male pleasure. There is no easy way to get a woman to offer sex. 1) You need to be generous outside the bedroom 2) You need to provide lovemaking and make intercourse more varied. JANE (cont):But there are no guarantees. It depends on a woman’s generosity and her ability to identify with erotic scenarios. I see nothing wrong with looking for sex elsewhere. Sex is an immensely important pleasure for a man & you have a right to enjoy your sexuality. JANE (cont):Most women never experience arousal and orgasm so they don’t understand why men like sex so much. Be careful though. You may not want to lose your wife & family. Secrecy may be the best option. Vikram:Dear Jane, Thanks for the information. We have deep love for each other. She tells me to do what I want, but its not very satisfying doing it with her lying in bed with no interest. I have tried foreplay, watching porn, giving her erotic lingerie to wear, Vikram (cont): taking her on beach holidays, talking to her on phone during the day to prepare her for what’s coming at night…. Ive tried doing it in different ways, at home or in a hotel. Unfortunately not very successfully… I just need to satisfy my urge, badly, as it is effecting me. Vikram (cont):Whenever I see an attractive woman, I want to have sex with her…. I often use the washroom at home and office to masturbate. Is this normal? What if I misbehave with some woman and things go out of control…. I am really worried. What can I do? JANE:Hi Vikram, You are a normal male. Sadly, female arousal is largely subconscious. Women are not aroused with a lover. A woman who is a proactive lover offers foreplay to please her lover, not due to arousal. JANE (cont):But it gives her no erotic pleasure. There is just the emotional reward of pleasing a lover. Imagine your sex life if all it involved was being penetrated by an erect penis. Vikram:Dear Jane, I have understood the point. Probably, I should instead work on my selfsatisfaction, instead of trying to motivate my wife to indulge in active sex. I thank you for your kind support and guidance. Vikram (cont):If I have offended you in anyway, I apologize for the same. You are doing an incredible job by helping people release their frustrations and guiding them to a better life. Really appreciate your interaction with me. Celebrating our ability to enjoy eroticism