Kylie: So sorry I am ok with answering. I have been swamped with uni and my epilepsy medication which has affected me cognitively. If you give me a set of questions, Ill happily answer them to avoid the confusion I get when thinking about what I want to say. I can tell you that my situation might be a bit unique. I have Graves disease which makes the body function faster etc. faster heart rate. Higher libido etc. Kylie (cont): Initial stages are just a thought. I wouldnt even say I have fantasies about a specific thing. But a thought that makes me excited. A thought of orgasm perhaps. Just the physical part. Faster heart rate breathing faster etc. This happens with both intercourse and masturbation. My husband knows now that intercourse alone doesnt make me reach orgasm. In this stage I also experience swelling in my vaginal area. Kylie (cont): I find during this stage my clitoris becomes so sensitive that its almost painful. Hubby cant touch it but Im fine to touch it myself. With both sex and masturbation, nipple stimulation is important. Especially at the initial stages. My husband will lick/suck them. I will use lubrication on my fingers of some kind. I cannot orgasm without part of the sexual experience having nipple stimulation. And sometimes that almost feels like that will be enough. Kylie (cont): My hubby is often away so I am used to masturbating. Most the time its just a physical thing. I get excited at the thought of an orgasm. At a release of the tension. Etc. One thing that happens at the end of an orgasm, is I get a loud ringing sound in my ear and sometimes I feel like I am going to vomit at the point of orgasm. Weird. I avoid it sometimes because of that. Kylie (cont): My husband likes when I orgasm (it turns him on) so he will do everything to make it happen. But often I just like the intimacy with him and happy to have a go when he is away. Although we have had those encounters where I orgasm during sex. I also have to be on top and lie slightly forward. Im not much into kisses etc. I try to be present in the moment and enjoy the experience. Kylie (cont): When I orgasm I get a rush Adrenaline or even peace or a mixture of both that comes over my entire body. And my whole body shivers and the vaginal area tenses up. My husband feels this. I need to stimulate the clitoris very fast. It honestly doesnt take long. Occasional anal stimulation at the end. I have occasionally at orgasm had a big gush of something come out there clear. And sometimes a small gush of something that is thicker in consistency. That feels like a better orgasm than normal. Kylie (cont): Any other questions happy to answer. Hope that helps a bit. I have been with my husband for 20 years. Happy to talk to him about everything I want etc. I cant orgasm alone with clitoris stimulation (rub fingers over that area fast) alone. I have to use either a vibrator or fingers entering the vagina with a mixture of clitoris stimulation. Kylie (cont): Until the vaginal area is very full. This same this happens with sex. And normally I have to finish off with clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm. During sex if I am leaning forward and going very fast and rubbing this area I will also achieve orgasm but I have very few of these experiences. Let me know if you have any other questions. JANE: My key questions concern mental arousal. How do you get aroused? What erotic turnons do you use both alone and with a lover? Not sure that you are actually describing a sexual release. It sounds more like emotional and sensual sensations. Orgasm is a response to eroticism. JANE (cont): Orgasm is a release of sexual tension that accumulates from mental arousal. This is the mechanism that causes the brain to send blood to the genitals. In men, this mechanism can be triggered biologically or hormonally. But in women, arousal is generated consciously by focusing on fantasy. Research shows that orgasm is associated with female masturbation. Kylie: Sorry I dont think Im the person for you then. I have very little that goes on in my brain most the time. I have cognitive decline so would be unable to explain anyways. Sorry. Perhaps in the moment I do. But I cant recall anything erotic going on in my mind afterwards. Having desire is not enough? JANE: (At this point Kylie blocked me) Women learn that their orgasm claims are accepted without comment. So they are hugely defensive if questioned. This is evidence of the political & emotional nature of these claims and the pressure from men and society telling women they should have orgasms. An interesting & fun way to learn about sexuality for all