Matty: I am a practising Sex Therapist and Relationship Counsellor and specialise in Sexual Dysfunction. I take a sexual history of every client I see and there is a huge difference between males and females. Most males start getting erections when they are around 12 or 13 years old and learn to masturbate. Matty (cont): I have never spoken to a man who was not able to orgasm by masturbation. Usually the problems that arise when getting older are erection problems, premature or delayed ejaculation which are mainly psychological issues. I have had some clients who ended up with inhibited ejaculation and could not orgasm until they received sex therapy. But it is a fact that any man can orgasm very easily. Matty (cont): When girls turn 12 or 13 they dont get erections and depending on their background or culture many women do not masturbate as early as the boys. They do not have orgasms or even know about them. Only about one in five women orgasm during penetrative sex most women need additional manual clitoral stimulation and/or sexual fantasies. Matty (cont): I always tell my female clients who have difficulties, to masturbate as often as they can to get in touch with their bodies. I advise them to read erotic short stories to get aroused. Just using the vibrator has desensitised many a clitoris! Only if a woman knows how she can achieve an orgasm can she tell her partner what to do. Matty (cont): Personally, I dont teach women how to find their GSpot just getting a clitoral orgasm will make most women happy. If you want more go and see a Sex Coach. Believe it or not there are still lots of women who fake orgasm because it is easier and Matty (cont): they do not want to upset their partners. Women surely can live without an orgasm but if they know how to do it they will appreciate it. Anyway orgasms are healthy and I am all for Solo Sex if you happen to not have a partner. JANE: No one can name any female erotic turnons with a lover. I am suggesting that orgasm with a partner is a completely different experience to masturbation where a woman uses fantasies for arousal. I am talking about erotic turnons related to penetrative sex. I have found that explicit erotic fantasies are critical to orgasm alone but do not work with a partner. Celebrating our ability to enjoy eroticism