JANE: Alfred Kinsey suggested that a woman, who is an unenthusiastic lover, causes a man to find another partner. Denise: There may be the mans fault that she is unenthusiastic. So rather than say she is encouraging him to have extramarital sex, Kinsey should have said: He can ask her what is wrong and what he can do to facilitate her better involvement. Ellie: A very 1950s sexplanation? Denise Yes definitely misogynistic 50s outlook! JANE: Have either of you read Kinsey’s work? No one else talks explicitly about sex. Everyone else just talks about relationship issues. Denise: Im only vaguely familiar but I did find that little bit very accusatory of the woman and her behaviour. I believe that if a man cheats, he has chosen to cheat. He has not been encouraged to do so. The same goes for women too, of course. JANE: Women do not often volunteer explicit pleasuring such as fellatio. They do not understand that men hope for an engaged partner. Most women assume it is mens role to make all the effort. Some men appreciate a more interactive partner. But women are sexually passive with a lover due to their lack of arousal. Denise: Im rather surprised by that. I didnt realise that the whole spectrum of lovemaking activities (including foreplay, kissing and oral sex) didnt feature more often. Maybe I am a bit odd. Ellie: I have read his book but I find Kinsey a bit dry. He was refreshingly blunt but I had not pegged him a narcissist. Who knows what goes on in someone elses bedroom? Whose business is it anyway? JANE: How often do you have oral sex? What do you like about it? Denise: Without over sharing Ill just say Im going through a breakup so there has been a significant drought. JANE: Regardless of your current relationship status, you should still be able to comment on your sexual experience. Women make general assertions but are seldom explict. I doubt that women offer adventurous sex play including oral sex regularly over decades. There is no payback for women. It’s all effort because they are not aroused with a lover. No one can name even one female erotic turnon. Denise: You are probably correct. I can only speak for myself and how we were and what I liked. As I say Im certainly no expert. JANE: But you’re not explaining either. I am saying that women do not routinely offer oral sex. Only men talk of sexual pleasure, oral or otherwise. Sexual bravado is easy. My work involves providing facts and explanations. There is no reason for a woman to engage in oral sex, except to please a lover. Denise: Yes I understand. In the majority of cases, yes, you would be accurate. I just find it difficult to discuss openly. An interesting & fun way to learn about sexuality for all