Rob : Id like to share my story. I was effectively motherless. My father was a good father but strictly religious. I learned nothing about sex from him. However, the boys I hung around with and taught me about masturbation at the age of 9. It made me feel good. Especially when I finally ejaculated at the age of 13. I felt like a man. Rob : This was back in the 50s when I think masturbation for girls was unknown and taboo. It seems young girls today know about masturbation at a younger age now than when I was growing up. Is that true? Is it OK to learn to masturbate at a young age or does that lead to sexual promiscuity? Rob : My daughter shared with me that girls she knew in college struggled with masturbation. I never knew how to respond to her about it being OK to masturbate and not to discourage the girls who were thinking it was bad. Thanks for listening and interested in hearing your perspective. JANE: Masturbation is down to individual choice. It is not an activity that anyone should be either encouraged to do or discouraged from doing. If a person is responsive (capable of arousal and orgasm) they are likely to discover masturbation, whether they are male or female. JANE (cont): But some people, most women and a few men, are not sexually responsive enough to masturbate. This is quite normal. They should be supported in their personal choice. Some men have intercourse before trying masturbation. So they continue without ever using masturbation. JANE (cont): Having a creative imagination is critical to masturbation. Typically, we masturbate alone. Our sexual decisions are our own personal concern. It is not possible to encourage someone to be more responsive (experience orgasm more frequently) than their body and mind allows. Most women are unresponsive but this is how they are intended to be. JANE (cont): There is nothing wrong with masturbation nor does it harm a relationship. Men have a stronger drive to enjoy their own arousal than women do. Women do not get turned on (to the extent that they could easily reach orgasm) as men do. Given most womens antipathy towards eroticism and explicit genital stimulation it is unlikely that many learn how to masturbate to orgasm. I enjoy orgasm through masturbation alone so I have always masturbated regularly (but not as frequently as many men do). Rob : Jane, Thanks for your response. Do you think unresponsiveness is nature or nurture? Like I said before, it seems to me more women masturbate today than years ago and that it has been starting at a younger age. Is there any data to support my theory? Today, have more mothers been saying to girls, its OK to masturbate and now they feel free to do so? We see it more in movies as well where women are doing it solo and I would think that would have impact as well. I hope you dont mind my questions. JANE: The internet means that erotic fiction obscures fact. The sex toy companies market their products to women who assume these toys cause orgasm. Men know how orgasm is achieved. I have been talking about sexuality on the internet for nearly 20 years. Few women ever comment on any aspect of sex or orgasm. Masturbation depends on responsiveness and imagination. Men masturbate much more commonly and frequently than women. JANE(cont): Most women are offended by any reference to sex, eroticism, orgasm, clitoral stimulation or female masturbation. Men are lucky because you are able to mix concepts of love and eroticism. Most women never make the connection between eroticism and arousal. They do not understand why anyone would masturbate because they see sex purely in terms of their their relationship with their partner. JANE (cont): Even when masturbating women dont always aim for orgasm. Men tend to overestimate the incidence and frequency of female masturbation to orgasm. Mostly its a display to arouse a man. Womens responsiveness does not change much as they age. This is evidence that younger women project a sexual image to make themselves more attractive to men. Rob : Jane, Wow! Thanks. An interesting & fun way to learn about sexuality for all