Tobe: Good morning, I teach mathematics to a small gathering of kids in a school in Nigeria.Whenever I bring up this sex education topic, at the end they want to experiment with themselves. Tell me what I am doing thats not right? JANE: If you mean masturbation that does no one any harm. But you need to talk about appropriate behaviour. If a person hopes to enjoy sexual pleasure later in life, it helps if they are familiar with their own anatomy. Boys don’t generally need any information or encouragement. Girls are much more reluctant to explore the responses of their own body. Tobe: In my small school the case is different. I have a girl who confided in me by opening up about her sexual prowess. I was astonished. Whenever I teach in class I see that behavior in her and it is irritating as a father and as her teacher. I can tell you have seen a lot during my 15 years of teaching. I would like you to do a video for my students in my school about sex education. JANE: Young girls do not achieve orgasm when they masturbate. They do not have the kind of adult fantasies that lead to orgasm. I don’t understand why you think it natural that boys should be sexual but not girls. Then men expect women to provide regular sex. We are all sexual to varying degrees. JANE (cont): I provide information for adults. But you can find sex education videos on the internet. Just make sure they are appropriate for the kids you are talking to. If you are going to teach sex education, you need to be unbiased and unjudgmental. You need to talk about the emotional impact of relationships. JANE (cont): Judgement causes shame, which leads to lack of selfesteem. As long as the concept of consent is understood and reliable contraception is used, there is no reason why women should not enjoy sex as much as men do just for different reasons. You can use www.learnaboutsexuality.org / sexeducationtoday as a guide. JANE (cont): Young children will not understand the responsibilities associated with a sexual relationship so you should not be encouraging them to experiment with sex. The most vital issue for teenagers is the use of reliable contraception. You need to talk about the choice we all have to be celibate and to keep sex as an act within marriage. JANE (cont): Some women enjoy the ego trip or money to be made from offering casual sex. But for most women sex is a lovemaking act with a man they love. So girls need the maturity to understand what they can gain from loving relationships (affection, family and companionship) in return for providing the sex that men need. JANE (cont): Remember that you need to obtain parental consent before talking to children about sexual matters. You will also need to document what you will tell them. It would be advisable to ensure that this information is supported by medical facts and research findings. JANE (cont): Best to start with general topics and be more explicit when questions arise. Some children mature much earlier than others. I suggest starting with topics such as healthy relationships, changes at puberty etc. before talking about more explicit topics that are likely to cause parents concern. Tobe : Yes I know. I need skills to tell them how to control their sexual life. How they perceive their sexuality. And how people treat them based on their sexuality especially the girl child. An interesting & fun way to learn about sexuality for all