Sex drive has been defined in terms of the proactive role that men have in obtaining intercourse. Male sex drive is apparent from the way men behave. Men often view penetrative sex as a conquest. They know they have obtained something (intercourse) that women do not always want to give. Women, who seduce men, offer intercourse to get financial or emotional rewards. Men respond to physical affection by becoming aroused and consequently wanting penetrative sex. Kinsey disliked the term sex drive.
The issue is that sex drive depends on various factors. Firstly to engage in intercourse, a man needs an erection, which depends on erotic stimuli. Secondly, some men use masturbation more than others. Consequently, the men with the highest intercourse frequencies tend to be those who are less particular about their partners or the circumstances of sexual activity. Kinsey used orgasm frequency (related to general metabolic rate) as a measure of responsiveness. Nevertheless, I have noticed that once a man has a naked woman in front of him, he tends to have a strong desire for intercourse.
We talk about orgasm as if it is the be all and end all of sex. But if this were the case, we wouldn’t need to have sex. We could all just masturbate instead. Sex drive is the biological urge a man experiences to thrust into a body orifice (vagina, mouth or rectum) with an erect penis until he ejaculates. Sex drive is instinctive and biological. It is not easily subdued by persuasion, by the risk of pregnancy or by a lack of reliable contraception.
When women refer to a sex drive, I have concluded that they don’t understand the nature of the male phenomenon. Sex drive arises in the mind of an aroused male who is strongly motivated to obtain penetrative sex. Women are sexually passive with a lover. A woman cannot orgasm as the receiver of intercourse because she cannot control how long the stimulation will last for. So what is the purpose of female sex drive if it is not to achieve orgasm? By engaging in intercourse, a woman risks pregnancy. Why would a woman have a drive to be impregnated? A biological sex drive occurs automatically. It operates regardless of our conscious desires.
Women often say that they prefer sex to masturbation. This is because very few women are responsive enough to discover orgasm. [i] Lovemaking causes women to feel loved, admired and needed. A woman is reassured by male admiration. An emotional attachment is formed when a man demonstrates (not just says) that he cares about her. This male behaviour (that operates during an initial romance) seduces a woman into hoping that the relationship will provide the affectionate companionship she hopes for.
[i] The importance of masturbation for me is that it’s my only source of orgasm. (Shere Hite)
Excerpt from Understanding Sexual Response (ISBN 978-0956-894762)