Jan : Hi Jane, I love your website and what you are doing. I will refer my clients to it. Please have a look at my website and let me know what you think. JANE: Your approach is typical of modern sex advice for women. Im sure its meant well but telling women they deserve to orgasm will only add to the pressure they already feel under. Women need to know the facts. Direct clitoral stimulation is required for orgasm but physical stimulation is only effective once a person is mentally aroused. JANE (cont): Both Kinsey and Hite showed that female orgasm is associated with womens solitary masturbatory activities. But this finding is hugely unpopular with men. So women have been told (contrary to the research findings) that they should orgasm with a lover. JANE (cont): Women offer sex to keep men tied into a supportive relationship. Sex was never intended to be equal no matter how much wed all like it to be that way. Most women appreciate more general sensual pleasuring lovemaking. Womens sexual passivity is evidence that women are not aroused with a lover. Jan: Thanks Jane. I agree with all you say. I am very frank with my clients however in writing and recording it is important to be positive and affirming. Please tell me about your book? JANE: The therapists dilemma is that you are paid to reassure and validate womens interpretation of their experiences, no matter how unrealistic these are. Orgasm claims are equated to indisputable evidence of female orgasm. But we are talking at crosspurposes if we equate womens emotional orgasms to mens sexual response to eroticism. JANE (cont): We assume that men orgasm from physical stimulation alone because men are already mentally aroused before they attempt orgasm. Womens minds are not nearly as reponsive to erotic stimuli. If you are not mentally aroused, you can stimulate all you want but nothing will happen. JANE (cont): Women who are promoting masturbation are not reaching orgasm. There is no other explanation for the ignorance over how female orgasm is achieved. To be motivated to masturbate, a woman must know how to use erotic fantasies to generate her own mental arousal. JANE (cont): There are no erotic turnons that cause female arousal with a lover. Luckily, a woman can engage in lovemaking without ever being aroused. The term vaginal orgasm is an archaic term. The source of female orgasm is always the clitoris. I personally have never experienced orgasm with a lover and I have not found even one woman who can explain convincingly how she does it. JANE (cont): You pass on tips from other sources. But these are old wives tales. You suggest that pointing toes or gargling in the throat may assist with orgasm. The ignorance over female orgasm is due to its rarity. Women are not intended to be sexually responsive, especially with a lover. The goal of sex is male orgasm and reproduction. Female orgasm is irrelevant. Celebrating our ability to enjoy eroticism