JANE: I am asking women to explain the erotic turnons involved, the specific anatomy and the stimulation technique. Any ideas? Emma : I’m unsure exactly how or how much help I can be. Out of curiosity, are you thinking of an anonymous online questionnaire, or do you have study participants? JANE: My research involves asking women in the population about sex and orgasm. Most refuse to comment. My suggestion is that if female orgasm were common then at least some women, even a handful, would be able to explain how they achieve these orgasms men think they have. I am talking about porno orgasms intercourse, cunnilingus and masturbation with a lover. JANE (cont): In over ten years, I have found very few women willing to be explicit about sexual activity. They rarely refer to eroticism or sexual pleasure. Women become angry and defensive when asked to substantiate their claims. Sometimes they even want to be paid for providing what is essentially erotic fiction. JANE (cont): My own experience is that orgasm is only possible when masturbating alone. This is because I have to use fantasy to achieve the necessary arousal. There are no realworld erotic triggers with a lover. Female arousal is largely subconscious. Questionnaires are useless because women mistake orgasm with a lover. They assume that emotional sensations in a loving relationship equate to arousal and orgasm. Emma : I see. I can only answer for myself but I am happy to answer any questions you have. Admittedly it is easier to orgasm alone but I have had partners that have been able to make me orgasm too. This is easiest either by replicating masturbation or by oral sex, stimulating the clitoris. Emma (cont): I find it harder to orgasm through intercourse and the times I have done so have been in conjunction with clitoral stimulation. I have experienced a building sensation through intercourse but I can see how this would not be a traditional orgasm. JANE: How do you account for the different stimulation involved? What stimulation do you use when masturbating, also what position and what erotic turnons? How do you account for the lack of arousal a woman experiences with a lover? Emma : Stimulation wise; rubbing in a circular motion, use of a wand type toy, water from the shower head. My husband uses his thumb in circular motion. I do prefer my husband doing this over me alone but I think that has more to do with me enjoying his presence in sexual encounters. Emma (cont): I find I fantasize about my husband when alone so it is probably linked subconsciously. There is always arousal with my husband, I just think arousal and orgasm are different. I can orgasm without arousal, be aroused without orgasm, or both. JANE: I assume you are referring to the clitoral glans, which is misleadingly referred to as the clitoris. You have not mentioned the erotic turnons you use to become aroused. I don’t know why women always talk about physical stimulation, which is useless without mental arousal. JANE (cont): Your experiences are very vague and connected to your loving relationship. They sound like emotional responses to me. Responsive women are capable of sexual response when using erotic fantasies during masturbation alone. But female responsiveness is extremely rare. An interesting & fun way to learn about sexuality for all