JANE:People often focus on physical stimulation techniques when talking about female orgasm. The psychological aspects of erotic arousal are rarely acknowledged. Ben:This is so true! An orgasm with the right emotional stimulation is far better. JANE:I’m not talking about emotional stimuli. To have an orgasm a person must first be erotically aroused. This means that the brain responds positively to JANE (cont): psychological stimuli of an erotic nature in such a way as to be pleasurable. This response is evident for men but not women. Ben:Its necessary for the nerves and sexual organs to be activated according to their function. JANE:Mental arousal comes first because it triggers the brain to send blood to the genitals. It is only once the sex organ (the phallus penis/clitoris) is JANE (cont): tumescent (swollen) that orgasm is possible. This is a sexual fact that is poorly understood. This is because men are usually very easily aroused. Ben: Agreed. Men must be patient (not selfish) and be proactive about making a woman feel comfortable so that she reaches a point where she responds normally and naturally. JANE:I don’t believe that women orgasm with a lover. Certainly I have never experienced the orgasms we see women supposedly having in porn. JANE (cont): This is why I am asking women & their lovers to explain the erotic turnons & stimulation technique that women need for orgasm if it occurred regularly men would know! Ben:It’s true that few women enjoy porn movies. Many men fantasise about porn during sex with their partners. Thats wrong and not good for their mental health. JANE:I’m not sure there is any evidence that using fantasy with a lover is bad for mental health. If a lover is unattractive or unimaginative a man may need to use fantasies. JANE (cont):But it is unwise for a man to set his expectations for real women according to what he sees in porn… Ben:There is a lot of evidence that pornographic films cause men to become addicted to sex. This puts women in the role of pleasuring men, rather than being partners who need their own satisfaction. JANE:Given it is a male masturbation tool, porn is filled with male fantasies about women. Real women hope for sensual and emotional pleasure with a lover. JANE (cont):The only proactive sexual role for a woman is to provide male pleasure. Even in porn, men choose to stimulate the female anatomy that arouses them. Dedicated to womens enjoyment of sexual pleasure