Steven: I have to say I am impressed and convinced by your arguments, observations and conclusions. I too maintain a library of erotic literature for the times my imagination fails me. My fantasies never relate to any woman I have known. The scenarios are indeed like a dream unlimited by reality. Steven (cont): In my mind I can leave behind the failings of my marriage, the inhibitions of my wife, my own limitations and regrets. I get to give full reign to my desires and dreams. Considering my sexless marriage, they have served as an essential resource and outlet. Steven (cont): When we were in our 30s and having sex, my wife would often have what was to me an annoying habit of talking about the most abstract and inappropriate things during our lovemaking often literally just prior to penetration. Steven (cont): This of course would inevitably kill the mood for me, and penetration would not occur and the sexual activity would cease immediately. It may well be responsible for bouts of anxiety and performance related erectile dysfunction I was plagued with. Steven (cont): What I can say in my case is that during my life so far sex has often been disappointing, underwhelming and unfulfilling. I wish I could just be content with penetration of an orifice until I ejaculate and be truly satisfied. Steven (cont): Penetration and rhythmic thrusting can for me in no way compare with the pleasure of my fantasies and being able to stimulate myself in exactly the right way at the right pace to play my body almost like an instrument extracting the perfect performance. Steven (cont): Strangely now as I get older and realise many of my dreams and desires will never be accomplished, those oh so perfect fantasies become a doubleedged sword. Serving to both to arouse and satiate me when I masturbate and torment me during the quiet and thoughtful times of my day. An interesting & fun way to learn about sexuality for all