Research indicates that almost all men are sexually active throughout their lives regardless of whether they are in a relationship. Women in relationships, in addition to never or rarely masturbating, for the most part engage in sexual activity initiated by their partner. Single women do not have intercourse as often[i] or with as many partners as single men do.
For men sex is generally risk-free so naturally they are enthusiastic about any and every opportunity to engage in intercourse. A man can potentially impregnate a (different) woman with every ejaculation (or many hundreds of times in a lifetime). He never does this for two main reasons.
Firstly, there are not nearly as many women willing to have a child as there are men able to ejaculate. Secondly, successful reproduction depends not only on impregnating a woman but also on having the necessary resources for the child’s survival. Men provide those resources.
A man will only support a woman if he is offered intercourse on a regular basis and if he is confident that a child is his. This explains why society has always been less tolerant of female promiscuity. As long as a man continues to support the family women often put up with male infidelity.
Any ‘reproductive drive’ only makes sense if it involves a woman wanting to get pregnant. Sadly this does not add up to wanting sex more than a relatively few times in a lifetime. Moreover a woman cannot be impregnated every time she engages in intercourse. Once she is pregnant she cannot produce any more offspring until after she has given birth.
Sex drive is beyond our conscious control. It is unreasonable to think that women have a sex drive that exposes them to the life-threatening risks of pregnancy and childbirth without any conscious choice in the matter.
A woman is not biologically driven to have sex with any man she finds attractive. A woman agrees to have sex with one particular man but only once he has shown himself willing to romance her into bed (by being loving and supportive). Most women offer intercourse over the longer term to a man they identify as a reliable mate and supportive companion.
The availability of reliable contraception, such as the pill, has given women more choice over planning a family but it cannot change how women’s responsiveness has evolved over millennia. Women today only think they have a sex drive because they don’t risk pregnancy every time.
[i] Outside of marriage relatively few females have coitus with anything like the regularity that is typical of the male. (p289 Kinsey 1953)
Excerpt from Jane’s book Women’s Sexual Behaviours & Responses (2013)