I am documenting my research approach, which is different to that taken by other researchers. I have not had a budget, colleagues or the support of an academic institution to engage in the kind of research that has been done in the past. My sex research is based on a much more basic assumption.
I set out on a quest to find evidence for the orgasms, women are presumed to have with a lover. As a woman who has never experienced even one of these, I decided to approach other women in the population (face-to-face or via the internet) and ask them to explain how they achieve orgasm. So I ask women to explain the erotic turn-ons that cause their mental arousal. I also ask them to describe the stimulation technique they use to orgasm.
This is my research. Some people might say that such an approach is unscientific because it does not involve wearing a lab coat or having qualifications in sexology. I am asking why these credentials matter. If women were truly having orgasms, they would know these basic facts. Surely at least some of them would be able to explain the anomalies and contradictions in the popular beliefs that I am highlighting? If women enjoyed sexual pleasure, they would be willing to talk about it. That is my science.
Understanding sexual response involves challenging popular beliefs as well as comparing and contrasting men and women’s sexuality. I have organised my search for answers into the following categories:
- Identifying the misconceptions and erroneous assumptions
- Explaining similarities between male and female responsiveness
- Establishing the differences between male and female responses
I have challenged just about everything I have ever read or assumed to be true. I have asked myself: “How can that be? How would that work? What is the logic of this situation? Why do men or women behave like that?” I have invited people via the internet to suggest how women enjoy sexual pleasure. Few people have had anything significant to say. I have even wondered about the silence and I have drawn my own conclusions from it.
In any scientific endeavour, however, evidence is vital. So I present the biological precedents for sexuality. I discuss and interpret the research findings. I compare men and women’s behaviours in sexual scenarios. I talk explicitly about how orgasm is achieved. I discuss sexual phenomena in sufficient detail to help others appreciate some of the issues. I include quotes from other researchers as well as from women in the population.
Who would set a limit to the mind of man? Who would dare assert that we know all there is to be known? (Galileo Galilei)
Excerpt from ‘Understanding Sexual Response’ (to be published 2023)