The idea that if we would ‘just relax and let go’ during intercourse we would automatically have an orgasm is, of course, based on the fallacious idea that orgasm comes to us automatically by the thrusting penis, and all we have to do is to give ourselves over to what our bodies will naturally and automatically do – that is, orgasm. As one woman put it, “It’s our fault that we can’t be a natural as they are”