Home Sexuality & techniques Sexual techniques Bringing variety of situation and technique to intercourse

Bringing variety of situation and technique to intercourse

Although intercourse provides little internal sensation, a woman feels some external pressure. When a man thrusts deeply [i] the base of his penis may thump or brush against her vulva (the clitoris and labia) and perineum (towards the anus). She may enjoy the eroticism of being dominated (from the whole body contact and his weight) and the psychological satisfaction of being penetrated (from knowing that his penis is deep inside her body).

‘Quickies’ often involve a standing position. The woman can support herself against an object (a tree, a table or the side of the shower) or lean over at 90 degrees and rest face down. When combined with rear entry, quickies allow the man to focus on the satisfaction of ejaculating into the woman’s vagina. If a woman usually moves her hips it is pleasant occasionally to have the excuse to do absolutely nothing and let the man do all the work!

For men sexual opportunities seem precious. So they approach sex with a sense of urgency and anxiety. A man holds his erect penis between his lover’s legs to find the entrance to her vagina. She may assist by spreading her legs to allow him to penetrate her more easily. The man then thrusts rhythmically into her vagina as the woman kisses or caresses him allowing the time he needs to ejaculate. ‘Quickies’ are necessarily ‘banging sessions’. But if this is the only technique a man uses then over time I feel like a receptacle for semen. A man should bring some variety to the lead-in, pace and rhythm of intercourse. Men can also use mouth-to-mouth kissing and some gentle caressing to make intercourse feel more loving.

Men tend to initiate sex so it can be a turn-on if a woman takes the initiative either by offering to pleasure him or by suggesting what she would like. A couple can use rear entry or the woman can bring her legs up and hug them around her lover’s back. If deep vaginal penetration is uncomfortable due to too much pressure on the cervix, a woman can place her hand down between her body and her lover’s to prevent penetration being too deep.

Women also flirt by playing to men’s fantasies. So I might say that having sex outdoors is a ‘great turn-on’, I don’t mean I orgasm from having sex up against a tree. I am being frivolous and exaggeration is part of the fun!

After making sure he has a firm grip on the steering wheel, suggest stopping to have sex. Find a convenient tree in a secluded wood. When out walking through some out-of-the-way countryside suggest having sex discretely behind a bush. When you are lying face down nude sun-bathing in a private garden, give your lover permission to penetrate you from behind.

[i] Psychologic satisfaction in knowing … sexual union and deep penetration have been effected. … Tactile simulation coming from the full body contact … and from his weight. (p581 Kinsey 1953)

Excerpt from Jane’s book Sexuality & Sexual Techniques (2015)