Samples based on volunteers will always attract people whose sexual (or political) motivation is well above the average for the general population.
Women, who divulge their sexual histories, are either confident that orgasm is not possible with a lover or they are pleased to display their sexual prowess by claiming experiences that are considered ‘normal’.
Even so women are much less confident of orgasm with a lover. They say that orgasm is possible sometimes[i] (75% of the time). Their accounts are vague. Not only do they disagree on the anatomy involved but they cannot explain the turn-ons that arouse them. They do not talk about orgasm as a phenomenon they control with their own mind and body.
Despite this confusion and the absence of any biological justification for female orgasm (by any means) such ‘evidence’ is used to define the ‘normal’ experience for the whole female population. Yet no one can explain why a woman has an orgasm at best ‘regularly’, never always.
Nor can they explain why female orgasm is so elusive. It is implied that different women (or the same woman at different times) orgasm by stimulating different anatomy (as if women have more than one sex organ).
Sex is political because of the advantage it gives women. So women imply that they benefit from sexual activity as men do. A woman cannot use a man’s body for orgasm but she can play on his insecurities as a lover. Nature intends it to be this way. Men have better survival odds even before women are handicapped by their child-bearing role. Why else (if he had no sexual reward) would a man volunteer to protect and provide?
Women’s sexual responsiveness is always much lower than men’s but it does not change significantly as a woman ages. Heterosexuals have sex more frequently when younger because men initiate intercourse. Equally once a man cannot achieve an erection, many couples no longer have sex. Male sex drive is the clear motivator for heterosexual couples’ sex lives.
Reproduction relies on two factors. Male sex drive is part of the story. But equally if a woman was aroused with a lover then she could orgasm every time by stimulating herself. A woman accepts intercourse as an act of lovemaking because she is not sufficiently aroused with a lover to be able to orgasm through her own efforts. Women are not driven to want intercourse but given the right circumstances they may be amenable to it.
[i] The average (median) female in the sample had reached orgasm in something between 70 and 77 per cent of her marital coitus. … This means that something between 36 and 44 per cent of the females in the sample had responded to orgasm in a part but not all of their coitus in marriage. (p375 Kinsey 1953)
Excerpt from Jane’s book Women’s Sexual Behaviours & Responses (2013)