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Women do not necessarily masturbate to orgasm

It is difficult to establish the nature of female masturbation.[i] Women do not always use fantasy as men do, which suggests they may not always be masturbating to orgasm. Some infant girls masturbate as an instinctive comforting activity. Sometimes they reach a resolution that is interpreted as orgasm. However a young child does not have the sexual maturity (or the erotic experiences) to obtain a sexual release by using adult fantasies.

Men don’t tell their partners they masturbate because many women cannot understand why anyone would masturbate. From observing the male response it appears to an observer as if men are aroused purely through physical stimulation. So masturbation seems very mundane to women.

Male masturbation is almost inevitable because men have a hormonal sex drive and they can easily imagine a scenario that causes them to orgasm. Boys attempt to masturbate soon after they learn about it but women delay investigating masturbation. Women are not spontaneously aroused.

We assume incorrectly that anyone who masturbates does so for orgasm.

Men, being intent on orgasm, always stimulate the penis. Yet only 84% of women who masturbate stimulate the clitoris. The conclusion must be that not every woman is aiming for orgasm when she stimulates herself.

Women’s indifference to their own sex organ as well as their lack of awareness of the role of the clitoris in orgasm is evidence of women’s innate lack of understanding of their own genitals and sexual response. Women perceive the clitoris to be ‘unfeminine’ and hence unattractive to men. The surgery to remove a girl’s clitoris (performed by women) in primitive societies ensures that she is unlikely to discover masturbation.

Female masturbation is associated with lesbians because of the masculine connotations of the clitoris. But responsiveness varies among women, gay and straight, just as it does among men. Gay women do not masturbate any more commonly or more frequently than straight women do.

Women most likely to discover masturbation to orgasm are those who live alone for significant periods of time in their twenties and thirties.

The presence of a male lover deters a woman from masturbating because a man’s drive to engage in intercourse tends to override any desire a woman may have to stimulate herself to orgasm. Women are likely to opt to masturbate when their husbands are away or when bedtimes differ.

[i]published instances of masturbation, especially in the female, have often been unduly augmented by the inclusion of activities which we do not now consider sexual and which, … few persons would consider masturbatory if they occurred in the adult male. (p134 Kinsey 1953)

Excerpt from Jane’s book Women’s Sexual Behaviours & Responses (2013)

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