While we expect our daughters to have equal opportunities with men in education and the work place, we also offer our daughters the ‘choice’ either to make use of those opportunities or to raise a family. Our sons do not have the same choice (it is less accepted or encouraged for a man to take on a full time family role) and to that extent they do not have ‘equal opportunities’ with women.

This section discusses how family still affects women’s lives more than men’s:

• Personal achievement: some mothers want to keep earning and developing their own talents throughout their lives.
• Caring for the family: other mothers see the family as their opportunity to achieve the most worthwhile success in their lives.
• The home support role: whether women work in employment or not they tend to take the lead in family life.

As long as our society supports these unequal ‘choices’ it is likely that the way in which we live our lives, particularly once we have children, will continue to be determined by gender.

Women divided

Despite the ideology that women should have equal opportunities in education and the workplace with men, once a couple has children the woman’s right to work becomes contentious because many people believe that the mother (but not the father) is responsible for ensuring that the children are properly cared for.

Traditionally men have been responsible for supporting the family financially and so, if anything, men come under more pressure to be successful at work once a couple has children. Instead of valuing women’s ability to contribute towards the family’s financial security, some people believe that, by working, a woman is simply indulging her own selfish interests.

Women who decide to stay at home do not always feel that they ‘chose’ their particular route through family. They simply didn’t see realistic options for combining work and family.

It would seem that whichever route women take (to continue working or to stay at home) they can often feel set against each other. If a woman doesn’t work it can be implied that she has failed because she is not earning money and maintaining her credibility according to male priorities. Equally a working mother comes under pressure because she is not constantly available to her children.

If society believes that women have a special place in the family then it is not fair to also expect women to be equally successful in working life as men are. Equally, while society supports this choice for women there should be positive support for women and their partners whichever route they choose to take.