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Arousal mechanisms are not unique to one lover

Mental turn-ons (both fantasies and fetishes) are abstract concepts and objects. They are not personalised or limited to one individual. So if a man finds the female breast to be an ‘object of desire’ then potentially he can be aroused by the breasts of any woman (not just those of his lover). Likewise if a…

Women’s sexuality involves providing male turn-ons

Women display their bodies to gain approval from others. This behaviour is misunderstood by men who assume that a woman’s conscious behaviour (to present herself in a provocative manner) reflects a subconscious response[i] (of being aroused and motivated to engage in intercourse). Men are the ‘birds and the bees’ and women the flowers (honey pot)…

Orgasm depends on a positive response to eroticism

Many women[i] (30% of Kinsey’s sample or about 1,800 women) openly acknowledge that they are never or rarely aroused. So it is unlikely that the rest of the female population is as sexually responsive as men are. You cannot teach someone how to produce an orgasmic response. We discover orgasm because we have the necessary…

Women Are Not Spontaneously Aroused As Men Are

Men are easily aroused because their minds frequently focus on sexual opportunities. Nudity (especially genitals) triggers the male brain to anticipate a potential opportunity for intercourse. Women’s minds are not naturally aroused so they do not respond easily to physical stimulation.[i] Misconception #2: Because of the male experience, it is incorrectly assumed that women are…

Women’s use of fantasy makes orgasm easier alone

Men may be spontaneously aroused but most men most of the time need to do something to orgasm. So female orgasms cannot ‘just happen’. The emphasis on clitoral stimulation (as if it is the only factor in orgasm) is misleading because it ignores the bigger issue of erotic turn-ons.[i] Stimulation techniques are useless without accompanying…

Our Biological Motivation to Engage in Loving Relationships

Research also indicates that for activities not involving men women take longer to orgasm. It is only when having sex with men that women are assumed to match male speeds to orgasm (two minutes on average).[i] Misconception #7: Because of the male experience, it is incorrectly assumed that women should orgasm more easily with a…

Women are much slower to arouse with a lover

Lesbians have the advantage (as women) of having a similar responsiveness[i] as their lovers. Also being women, they are not so intent on genital stimulation, penetration and orgasm. Lesbians can be more relaxed about exploring sexual pleasuring without any pressure to achieve orgasm. To experience orgasm, a woman needs a lover who is not distracted…