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Women’s sexuality

The sexual responses of arousal and orgasm arise subconsciously. But sexual behaviours involve more conscious decisions: we choose how we will explore and enjoy our interaction with a lover.

Women prefer implicit explanations for orgasm

A few women have been observed in the laboratory to orgasm multiple times or with minimal stimulation. But such women are incredibly rare. Many of these cases have more in common with a nervous disorder or some kind of fit than a sexual release. If someone experiences orgasm like the ticking of a clock (or…

Women have more reason to invest in a relationship

Young women cannot possibly imagine the challenge of a sexual relationship spanning decades. They experience sex through spontaneous and romantic interludes. Long-term relationships take effort on both sides. They are not a whirlwind of sexual passion from beginning to end. Men are easily tempted by promiscuity. The male is driven to engage in penetrative sex…

Arousal mechanisms are not unique to one lover

Mental turn-ons (both fantasies and fetishes) are abstract concepts and objects. They are not personalised or limited to one individual. So if a man finds the female breast to be an ‘object of desire’ then potentially he can be aroused by the breasts of any woman (not just those of his lover). Likewise if a…

Women’s sexuality involves providing male turn-ons

Women display their bodies to gain approval from others. This behaviour is misunderstood by men who assume that a woman’s conscious behaviour (to present herself in a provocative manner) reflects a subconscious response[i] (of being aroused and motivated to engage in intercourse). Men are the ‘birds and the bees’ and women the flowers (honey pot)…

Orgasm depends on a positive response to eroticism

Many women[i] (30% of Kinsey’s sample or about 1,800 women) openly acknowledge that they are never or rarely aroused. So it is unlikely that the rest of the female population is as sexually responsive as men are. You cannot teach someone how to produce an orgasmic response. We discover orgasm because we have the necessary…

The pressure on women to ‘respond’ to intercourse

Only women have ever been described as ‘frigid’ (meaning cold). An unenthusiastic lover is a turn-off and causes a man to feel unappreciated.[i] Men approach relationships with unrealistic expectations set by fictional media such as pornography, which depicts a fantasy world where women take the sexual initiative. If a woman is honest, many men go…