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Sexual Pleasure: How Female Orgasm Is Achieved

It is often assumed that every woman masturbates just as every man (96%) does. Yet there is no research to support this view. Only some[i] women (20%) enthuse about orgasm sufficiently to masturbate regularly.

Men concur with women’s conclusion that lovemaking is more rewarding than masturbation since this is also their experience (that masturbation is a poor substitute for sex). A man is not likely to question how he can stimulate a lover to orgasm when she cannot do the same for herself.

Research indicates that two out of every five women (42%) never masturbate while a similar number (38%) try masturbation but are not motivated to continue. Female orgasm is clearly more elusive than male.

But these are women who are confident to come forward and talk about orgasm in surveys. All the evidence from everyday life suggests that female masturbation is much less commonplace in the general population.

The position a woman assumes when masturbating (the clitoris) is quite different from the one she assumes to allow penetration (of the vagina). A woman masturbates by using a ‘humping’ motion to thrust her vulva against her fingers (or other object). Whereas during intercourse a woman cooperates by gyrating her hips to assist with stimulation of the penis.

Intercourse involves coordinating with a man’s pace and rhythm whereas masturbation alone focuses on drumming up some mental inspiration. Overall masturbation is worlds apart (both physically and psychologically) from intercourse. Yet few women ever remark on this inconsistency.

Female masturbation is evidence that some women have a residual instinct to thrust. This instinct can only be acted out in fantasy and does not transfer to vaginal intercourse where a woman takes on a ‘receiver’ role.

By masturbating a woman is acting out the circumstances of the male. She uses fantasy to create a scenario where she is the initiator and in control of the action (by imagining herself as the man or as an observer). A woman uses a subconscious simulation of the male drive to thrust in combination with the simultaneous stimulation of her clitoris and labia.

Women’s orgasmic capability is an evolutionary redundancy. This explains why most women are embarrassed by talk of explicit sexual techniques. They are offended by men’s enjoyment of pornography because they never appreciate that women can also use erotic stimuli for arousal.

[i] Although 58 per cent of the females in our sample were masturbating to orgasm at some time in their lives … not more than a fifth – 20 per cent – of the females were masturbating within any particular year. (p143 Kinsey 1953)

Excerpt from Jane’s book Women’s Sexual Behaviours & Responses (2013)

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