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Orgasm depends on a positive response to eroticism

Many women[i] (30% of Kinsey’s sample or about 1,800 women) openly acknowledge that they are never or rarely aroused. So it is unlikely that the rest of the female population is as sexually responsive as men are.

You cannot teach someone how to produce an orgasmic response. We discover orgasm because we have the necessary capability. Sexual responsiveness relies on a person’s ability to identify with erotic scenarios.

A woman needs to be able to tune into ‘adult’ (erotic) psychology to consciously generate the equivalent mental arousal a man needs for orgasm.

First, an aspect of sexual activity excites our curiosity. Second, we enjoy the possibilities we explore mentally. Third, our positive mental response motivates us to explore how our genitals respond to stimulation.

It is almost a matter of chance or simple curiosity that a woman discovers orgasm. Orgasm relies on a positive response to eroticism. Unless she has a special interest in erotica and an unusual curiosity to explore her sexual responses there is no reason for a woman to discover orgasm.

We respond positively to eroticism because we enjoy (are aroused by) sources of eroticism. Anyone who lacks a response to erotic stimuli is unable to appreciate the mental turn-on of sex. They naturally question the purpose of sexual activity and often seek a moral justification for sex.

Women identify more readily with the negative aspects of sex: anti-social promiscuity, sexual disease, exploitative prostitution, degrading pornography, the world trade in sex slaves etc. Thinking of orgasm as an emotional or spiritual experience acts as a kind of moral compensation.

It is unlikely that a woman would be responsive if she is totally disgusted by the concept of sexual activity, including explicit genital stimulation.

Even female responsiveness relies on feeling comfortable with one’s own nudity and that of a lover. But women are not aroused by graphic sexual images, which is why there are no female equivalents to ‘peeping Toms’.

A person who doesn’t enjoy eroticism is not consciously choosing to be ‘inhibited’. It’s just the way they are and most likely they are happy to be that way. They simply don’t have the benefit of enjoying the pleasure of responding positively to eroticism. Nor is there any reason why sexual activity should always include orgasm to be either enjoyable or valid.

[i] “low in sex drive”. …This situation is even more often found among females, 30 per cent of whom are more or less sexually unresponsive. (p209 Kinsey 1948)

Excerpt from Jane’s book Women’s Sexual Behaviours & Responses (2013)

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