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Female sexuality today is defined by male fantasies

Men’s state of arousal means they approach sex with a clear agenda. [i] Women are not easily aroused which is why they talk about emotional sensations. Even in pornography a woman provides a passive receptacle for semen (accepting the penis into her mouth, vagina or anus). Women rarely demonstrate sexual initiative. For example, they do not suck a man’s nipples, his testicles or stimulate his anus orally, or with fingers or a dildo.

I am challenging modern beliefs about female sexuality, which I believe are wrong. For example: if women masturbate during sex, why are so few men aware that the clitoris is the source of female orgasm? And if women orgasm easily through oral sex, why do men complain that women seldom return the favour by offering fellatio? But also why would anyone ever ask about female orgasm with a lover? Intercourse involves stimulation of the vagina while female masturbation focuses on the clitoris. If every woman masturbates, why do so few comment on the difference between the two?

Research findings from polling women in the population (such as those of Kinsey and Hite) were so controversial that the approach was abandoned. Research that involved observing couples having intercourse under laboratory conditions (such as that of Masters and Johnson) was more popular. Researchers simply explained the orgasms these women were assumed to have and then extended their conclusions to the rest of the female population. No one questioned the logic of assuming that women are required to time their climax to coincide with their partner’s ejaculation every time.

Today researchers use ultrasound machines to measure minute changes in blood flow in the pelvic region. They assume that these physiological changes equate to what men call ‘arousal’. But what use is female arousal if women are never consciously aware of experiencing any erotic pleasure? They also place electrodes in women’s vaginas and assume that electrical impulses equate to what men call ‘orgasm’. But what kind of orgasm is it when so many women are unsure about whether they have ever had one? No one sticks anything into a man to figure out what turns him on and what stimulation causes his orgasm. Blood flow may increase in the genitals for various reasons. It may indicate that a woman is subconsciously preparing for sexual activity, such as intercourse, that has nothing to do with orgasm.

How do female researchers expect to discover something from the public that they themselves do not know? When you orgasm, not only do you know for sure but you also know how you got there! This is because orgasm arises from resolving erotic (psychological) stimuli in our own mind.

[i] Most of the action in a petting relationship originates with the male. Most of it is designed to stimulate the female. (p540 Kinsey 1948)

Excerpt from Jane’s book Sexuality & Sexual Techniques (2015)

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