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Emotional Bonding: Women Are Meant to Be Unresponsive

It is often assumed that every woman is able to orgasm just as easily and as frequently as men do. Yet no research supports this view. It is clear from the research that women orgasm much less often than men do[i]

Kinsey’s work was the first exposé of women’s covert sexuality (women’s masturbatory and lesbian activities). But the conclusion that women in general commonly have their own sexual motivations (outside intercourse) was received with shock and, ultimately, resounding rejection.

Kinsey and Hite collected data anonymously from women of all ages. They highlighted women’s experiences of orgasm: rarely or never by any means, only when masturbating alone and with a lover through intercourse. There are no prizes for guessing which one has most appeal!

No one owns up to socially unacceptable experiences in public. So unsurprisingly women’s perceived sexuality (or the experiences they will admit to) aligns increasingly with men’s experience of sex over time.

Kinsey found two in five women orgasm with a lover ‘sometimes’. Later Hite found half orgasm ‘regularly’ during sex. Today no woman ever admits to having sex for her partner’s benefit. The progression is clear but meanwhile heterosexual lovemaking techniques have hardly changed.

Homo sapiens emerged around 200,000 years ago and we have been sexually active ever since. Men’s orgasmic abilities do not change over time.

Evolution involves changes that occur over millennia. It is just not possible for the physiological and psychological responses that are involved in women’s orgasmic ability to have changed in the space of a few decades.

More liberal attitudes and improved policing create a safer society today, in which women can display more provocative behaviours but still make their own sexual choices. Some men interpret such behaviour as a sexual come-on and in more primitive societies women risk being raped.

Rather than ‘repressing their sexuality’ society tries to protect young women from predatory men who view sex as a frivolous pleasure rather than a commitment to share in the consequences of heterosexual activity.

Kinsey’s work provides the most comprehensive data we have on women’s sexuality and a unique opportunity to study women’s sexuality at a time when women were under much less pressure to orgasm with a lover.

[i] The frequen­cies of orgasm … had stayed more or less on a level from the youngest to the oldest age group. The median females in the active sample had aver­aged one orgasm in two weeks (0.5 per week) … (p518 Kinsey 1953)

Excerpt from Jane’s book Women’s Sexual Behaviours & Responses (2013)

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