I guess my websites (also LearnAboutSexuality.org & WaysWomenOrgasm.org) reflect my hopes about men and women living together in harmony by understanding what makes each other tick. My mission has been to highlight the different emotional drives that influence our lives and the consequences for how we define ‘success’ for men and women.
I have written about my experiences in the hope that other women will identify with my struggle to achieve some of my hopes and dreams. I read a great deal as I was growing up and books often portray ideals rather than reality. Overall, I have probably made as much of a mess of things as the next person. I have not been a model for others but I have perhaps persevered where someone else might, quite reasonably, have given up. I have struggled where others have sensibly accepted their lot and decided to move on.
“I prefer old age to the alternative.” (Maurice Chevalier 1888-1972)
Vegetarianism (humane farming and a healthy lifestyle)
I have always loved good food and I try to eat mostly vegetarian food. Of course, I’m soppy about animals but equally I have found that it is easier to keep in shape if I keep the fat and the calories down. I accept that I live in an ivory tower and I am very lucky to live in an affluent society where we have time to worry about moral issues.
But I am often shocked by the lack of compassion and the disregard for the world we live in that I see in those around me. Most people think only of themselves. This is a natural instinct. But if we are to preserve our world for the future we need to think more carefully about how we are using and wasting our natural resources.
Self-belief (the power of believing in yourself)
Talents and abilities are one thing but the over-riding factor in success must be personal drive or self-motivation. Success in book-learning makes a person an academic. True intelligence encompasses our ability to make the most of our personal talents, to achieve personal contentment and to add value to the lives of those around us.
One of my father’s sayings that I have drawn great comfort from over the years was “Don’t let the buggers get you down!” Whenever I feel demoralised I remember that saying. It is so easy to criticise and how few people think to offer any praise. If you want to succeed then don’t listen to anyone telling you it’s not possible.
Spirituality (tolerance and compassion)
I respect other people’s religious beliefs and envy anyone who can draw comfort from the belief in a God of any religion. Perhaps because I had to be self-reliant during my childhood, I cannot believe that there is a super-being ready to guide, punish or reward us for our earthly exploits.
I do believe in the power of the human spirit and in that sense, I personally believe that God is the power within each of us to stand up for good over evil. I don’t see faith as an excuse for complacent self-righteousness. So often our greatest weaknesses are apathy and inaction.
“For God’s hand may be a human hand, if you reach out in loving kindness, and God’s voice your voice, if you but speak the truth.” (Timothy Ferris author of ‘The Whole Shebang’)