About Nospers

The name Nosper is a rearrangement of the letters PERSON.

It is deliberate that ‘Nospers’ are identical and that the item distinguishing them as male or female is trivial.


The addition of the ribbon or the bow-tie changes the way we perceive their capabilities and expectations.


The point being that gender influences our live’s; sometimes for good reasons, other times purely for cultural reasons.

When I was younger (up until at least 35 years old) I had the impression that there was very little difference between men and women. There are differences but they are initially very subtle. As we age the differences seem to become more pronounced. Perhaps as we grow older we become more vocal in expressing our views and more confident in behaving as we want to.

Naturally these are generalisations. Not everyone behaves in the same way.

Nosper couple

But men tend to be more solitary in their pursuits. They see their own personal status as central to how others value them. Men are often more emotionally self-sufficient than women are so they struggle to understand intimacy outside the sexual scenario. They hope for a partner who contributes enthusiastically to their intimate time together: sharing fantasies, some adventurous sex play and affection.

To a husband, sex is about right up there on the list with eating and breathing. Can he survive without it? Yes, but it’s not fun at all. Sex is to the man, what talking/communication is to the woman. (Gerad Harris 2012)

Women tend to become much more dependent on the sociable companionship of others. Women value their relationships as an essential part of their lives. They hope for a partner who contributes enthusiastically to their intimate time together: sharing a sense of humour, some stimulating conversation and affection.

I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t be satisfied if we only had sex when I feel like it. I have had to learn it’s not all about me. Sometimes I wish it was, but it’s not. (Valerie Harris 2012)

Understanding these differences in men and women’s emotional needs may help couples with their relationships over the longer term. How we feel loved depends on obtaining what we need emotionally.