Romance allows a man to demonstrate that he is interested in a woman as a person and causes a woman to interpret a man’s sex drive as being personal to her. This is why men still pay for dates that don’t necessarily end in sex.[i] A woman offers physical intimacy to a man as a token of the trust she hopes for. So she cannot imagine how her lover can contemplate sex, no matter how casual and lacking in meaning, with another woman.
Men care about sex almost more than life itself. So they are completely baffled when women have to be romanced into bed. Women who experiment with promiscuity do so only for a period of time. They enjoy casual sex for the thrill of the chase and the compliment. A woman who was truly orgasmic with a lover would not feel ‘used’ by ‘meaningless’ sex.
Masturbation relies on a woman knowing how to stimulate herself to orgasm. But a woman can engage in intercourse without needing to be either aroused or orgasmic. So cooperating with intercourse is achievable by more women and aligns with reproduction. There’s really no contest.
Young women often appear ‘more sexual’ than their elders. Not only do they have the advantage of a young body, but they also have more to gain by appearing to be sexually willing. They still have a mate to find.
Unfortunately once life settles down, the romance and the thrill of the chase inevitably dwindle. This is simply the natural transition from romance to long-term relationship. Many couples never realise the on-going need to invest in their wider relationship as well as in their sex life.
Emotional bonding is achieved not through orgasm but through the intimacy of penetration. But men want intercourse exists regardless of a relationship so a woman feels needed when lovemaking feels personal to her.
Over the longer term a woman can conclude that a man is using her body for sexual gratification if he no longer invests personal effort in her.
A man’s willingness to keep a woman happy increases exponentially when he is having ‘good sex’ (loving and intimate sex play) with a woman he loves. A woman stands to benefit from the pleasures of a quality sex life that includes explicit communication over sensual pleasuring.
A woman is amenable to sexual pleasuring when she has a quality relationship with a man. This is much more of a personal compliment than believing that a woman has sex just for the sake of her own orgasm.
[i] Hundreds of males have insisted that intercourse with a prostitute is cheaper than intercourse with any other girl. (p607 Kinsey 1948)
Excerpt from Jane’s book Women’s Sexual Behaviours & Responses (2013)